Do I go to court

[MassiveMug]

My dh and I came to a financial agreement out of court, we have sol involved. I settled on 80% capital from the house as a healthy deposit for a house for me and our 2ds and a small mortgage.

The sol have just drawn up the court order ready for it all to be sent to court on what we have agreed. Problem is, I now can’t get a mortgage and the equity I will get is not enough to buy anything half decent for us whilst he stays on in this big 4 bed house to himself.

I have put a hold on the order being sent off to court whilst I think about what to do. I could rent but that’s very expensive and I don’t work and trying to get a job is near on impossible, or do I take him to court for more money or even the house but knowing that this won’t be resolved for at least another year, hugh sol bill and would I be rewarded with anymore? Any advice please?

The OP might qualify for help with childcare costs if she is working?

Unlikely if she’s sat on £150k of equity/savings, so that will deplete while she’s renting.

Also utterly shameful that the state should pick up the tab for childcare when one parent earns £90k.

I won’t be entitled to working tax credits because it’s means tested and I will also lose my carers allowance.

Can’t win can I

Yet the co parents think they have it hard

What I find so sad on this thread is the number is posters that do not seem to value a SAHP enables the other parent to climb the corporate ladder, have a huge pension etc

I know Random were just classed as the lazy parent who doesn’t deserve anything because we didn’t actually go out and bring the pennies in...that’s what my ex says anyway

Totally agree with Random

I hope the judge that signs it Off rejects it as unfair, you should be walking away with 50% minimum your need to house the DC until the youngest is at least 20 (let's be realistic here) has been ignored with this agreement.

Please don’t settle down for something that basically giving you less than 50% of the equity.
You need to at least to renegotiate that side + the CM side.
You should getting much more CM if he is earning that much money.

Redbus in this case does it matter if she was a SAHM, helped him or not to climb the ladder etc.. (which she will have anyway. Just she will still do so by taking on more or less all the childcare so children will never be a hindrance to the progress of his career).

But more to the point.
2 dcs, CM is about 25% of the other parent wage so nowhere near £900 a month
And 150k is not 50% of the equity either.
The fact she can’t find a mortgage is key here and the reason why women who do not get the keep the house are so much worse off.

Figures seem to be getting jumbled up here. OP has been offered 80%of equity plus half of savings to give £150K . Yes there is a Pension Pot of £200K, but that is not cash in hand that is available in full today. Maybe some time before it pays out? Not much help to OP as she needs capital now.

So far what the 80% equity comes to in £'s has not been stated. Maybe even in 100% equity was provided it may not increase the total by that much?

CM will be about £800 based on; husbands earnings, he has 2 children to his wife, he sees them one night per week and he has another child in his house (DC of new partner).

"The fact she can’t find a mortgage is key here and the reason why women who do not get the keep the house are so much worse off"

If one of the Partners wants to keep the FMH they must either buy off the other partner or they take over the Mortage payments in full. If they can't afford to do either then they will not be able to keep the FMH.

Happened in my case. Ex could not afford to run the FMH nor buy me out. I bought her out instead. So I kept the house. That I have a 4 bedroom house and she and child had to move into a 2 bedroom house was immaterial in the Judge's (female) eyes. Wife and child's needs were catered for. Maintenance was calculated taking into account the likely rental income.

"if she was a SAHM, helped him or not to climb the ladder etc.. (which she will have anyway. Just she will still do so by taking on more or less all the childcare so children will never be a hindrance to the progress of his career)"

Pure speculation in my view. How would you prove that as wife was SAHM the husband progressed further than he would have had there been no SAHM? If Wife had given up a lucrative career of her own to be SAHM it might be a stronger argument.

What I find so sad on this thread is the number is posters that do not seem to value a SAHP enables the other parent to climb the corporate ladder, have a huge pension etc

"Value" in a divorce has to be given a £ or % - so what do you attribute to a SAHP?

If you treat all assets acquired during the marriage as joint and split them 50/50, that values each person's contribution absolutely equally. What it doesn't do is reward the SAHP - but why should it? Give them more than half the assets and you're effectively saying they contributed more!

You're reading this thread as SAHP being under-valued, I'm reading a fair bit of entitlement the other way from some posters, such as she should be able to keep the (mortgaged) family home, with no income to pay for it.

What's your solution?

Give them more than half the assets and you're effectively saying they contributed more!

Eye. Roll.

You’re saying that their NEEDS are more.

50% doesn’t allow for the lost opportunities.

When you have children you cannot bugger off up and down the country chasing the best paid jobs, or work abroad which in my case would double my salary ... and yet the NRP does whatever they please, throws the kids s few crumbs and everyone’s supposed to be hunky dory. It’s bullshit. 50% is bollocks. Push for 70 minimum ... I got 100% because I wasn’t taking a penny less.

ClaireAngelaReid

I really like your no nonsense attitude .

I wish I had you on my legal team .

Your facts are so spot on (hand claps)

All the SAHP who say they allow the partner to climb the ladder?

How do you think SP's do it?

I'm a SP, with a SEN child, was on NMW and worked my way up to be a high earner, separated from DD's dad when she was 1, never recieved any maintenance, no childcare by family or friends, moved around the country to get the better paid jobs.

It is possible if you want to do it, hate the attitude of 'I care for a child and therefore my career and job prospects have suffered or are non-existent'.

I got 100% because I wasn’t taking a penny less.

Very very very unusual and I have only ever seen it when therd isn't much in thd pot. I very much doubt that would be the case with OP. She isn't going to get 100% of equity, savings and all his pension. It won't happen.

I agree with Sally. Cant see courts making an order that one partner to get 100% of everything and the other becomes destitute. That could never be described as fair

The difficulty you may have anyway is that if you have accepted a deal in correspondence and the order has been agreed, it is highly likely you will be held to it. If you refuse to sign your ex would just make an application to the court for the order to be made.

The outcome does sound well within the range of orders a court could make so there is a slim chance a judge would not approve it I am afraid.

Missedtheboatagain you need to get a new hobby, you spend a lot of time stalking the divorce threads. Time to let it go and live.

Yesterday I agreed to have the order sent. If the judge finds it unfair it will get thrown out anyway.

I will leave him to his big 4 bed house and I hope he enjoys rattling round in it.

I got that job I went for, so I start full time next Monday. I’ve decided to rent for a few months and then apply for a mortgage with my salary.

Slightly off thread here, but the cheeky sod has asked me If I can stay in tomorrow for his dishwasher to be delivered whilst he goes out and spends the day with his gf

Please tell him to f*ck off as you have plans of your own!!!!

Well done to you.

CF, his new gf will soon learn what he is like!