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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Do I go to court

146 replies

MassiveMug · 02/11/2018 15:22

My dh and I came to a financial agreement out of court, we have sol involved. I settled on 80% capital from the house as a healthy deposit for a house for me and our 2ds and a small mortgage.

The sol have just drawn up the court order ready for it all to be sent to court on what we have agreed. Problem is, I now can’t get a mortgage and the equity I will get is not enough to buy anything half decent for us whilst he stays on in this big 4 bed house to himself.

I have put a hold on the order being sent off to court whilst I think about what to do. I could rent but that’s very expensive and I don’t work and trying to get a job is near on impossible, or do I take him to court for more money or even the house but knowing that this won’t be resolved for at least another year, hugh sol bill and would I be rewarded with anymore? Any advice please?

OP posts:
ClaireAngelaReid · 07/11/2018 08:10

Just do not move out of the house. Dig your heels in

totallyaddicted · 07/11/2018 08:36

@RandomMess OP said that her child has a 'mild disability' but is able to go to mainstream school. So potentially she could be able to work during the week whilst they are at school.
I'm not sure that OP should be getting 50% of assets anyway. She doesn't state how long she has been married but that her eldest is 10. If the marriage has only lasted around this length of time I think 80% of the equity in the home sounds fair. The ex needs to be able to have somewhere to live as well.

What I don't understand is why he doesn't want 50/50 care, considering he is staying in the larger home. Is it because he would have to pay for childcare or does he just not want to do this?

MissedTheBoatAgain · 07/11/2018 08:43

In what world does a single man earning 90K need a 4 bedroom house

Read carefully through the posts and you will see that Ex Husband has a new partner that has DC.

In your scenario you should be getting more than 50% of assets

OP is being offered 80% of the equity.

If he earns 90K a year he can get a mortgage for rather more than the current value of the house

Maybe he can't. Depends on what type of work he does. If he works on Contract like myself the lenders may not entertain him? Maybe his age is against him?

I retained the 4 bedroom Family Home as I was able to buy out the Ex Wife. Judge ruled that as Wife and child's needs had been met there was no requirement to provide more.

RandomMess · 07/11/2018 08:52

@MissedTheBoatAgain

Everyone is overlooking the £200k pension pot that is also a marital asset...

wondering1101 · 07/11/2018 08:52

Basically I think that you need to do your utmost to buy rather than rent OP. Explore all avenues and think carefully, and concentrate on what will bring you future stability.

Can the proceeds of a rented out room be factored in by a bank when applying for a mortgage? Getting a lodger brings in £7,500 a year tax free.

Not sure how her ex’s new partner’s children can be more important than the children of the marriage Confused?

MissedTheBoatAgain · 07/11/2018 08:57

Everyone is overlooking the £200k pension pot that is also a marital asset

Pension pot is as asset, but it may be some time before it pays out? Every case is different, but as an example my Uncle got to keep his pension to reflect fact that Ex wife retained the house for herself and the boy aged 15.

Only the OP can know for sure, but maybe Ex Husband has used the pension to secure the increase in mortgage to raise the 80% equity he has offered to the Wife?

MissedTheBoatAgain · 07/11/2018 09:01

Not sure how her ex’s new partner’s children can be more important than the children of the marriage

Maybe new partner's child is his own?

MissedTheBoatAgain · 07/11/2018 09:11

She was told she could get more. She got less than the original offer. Plus barrister fees on top of solicitors

That's what happened to my Ex. £35,000 spent on Legal fees. Money that I would have rather seen go to ex and child as total cost to myself was the same no matter which direction it went.

Original poster
MassiveMug · 07/11/2018 09:26

In answer to some questions, we were married 14yrs.

My ds disabilitie is mild and he goes mainstream school so this will not prevent me from working, although I am classed as his carer and in receipt of carers allowance.

His new partner does not work and they are her dc from previous marriage.

So to clarify, 80% equity and half of the savings equals to 150k.

OP posts:
Original poster
MassiveMug · 07/11/2018 09:27

He has bought me out of the property and using his savings to remortgage.

OP posts:
MissedTheBoatAgain · 07/11/2018 09:38

using his savings to remortgage

Don't follow that. If he has savings to buy you out of the house what is the remortgage for?

totallyaddicted · 07/11/2018 10:20

@MissedTheBoatAgain just a guess but maybe if the mortgage is currently in both of their names he needs to remortgage to set new terms and put it in his sole name.

notapizzaeater · 07/11/2018 10:29

I'd be pushing for a share of the pension pot tbh, you might be able to get a mortgage with that as security.

RandomMess · 07/11/2018 10:35

So what is his share?

£200k pension + 20% of equity + 50% of savings =?????

RandomMess · 07/11/2018 10:38

Oh and spousal maintenance if he actually pays it for the full 3 years = £10k

Ignore CM as you would get that via CMS anyway unless he quits working.

Have you seen the paperwork for his pension pot?

You have a valid reason to go back to mediation, you cannot get a mortgage therefore his offer is not sufficient for the basic need of housing you and the DC.

Original poster
MassiveMug · 07/11/2018 10:47

randomMess yes, that’s exactly his share

OP posts:
SillySallySingsSongs · 07/11/2018 10:53

Do you know what his pension pot will pay out at?

bertielab · 07/11/2018 10:58

Talk to a proper f adviser on what you can afford and talk to him.

MissedTheBoatAgain · 07/11/2018 11:02

OP’s solicitor must surely have seen the pension paperwork before drafting the deal? Same applies to borrowing capacity. Can’t believe a solicitor would draft a deal without knowing what the OP could borrow.

If deal was drafted without that information maybe OP needs another solicitor?

RandomMess · 07/11/2018 11:40

What is his share in £?

lifebegins50 · 07/11/2018 14:53

Massive, please don't be influenced by those on your thread that are not child focussed.

Only you know your circumstances and what is possible. I hope you have had enough input that allows you to make a decision, no one can definitely say what is a likely outcome as Judges can differ so significantly based on their own experiences in life.

Whatever you decide will be right for you at that time.

If your Ex is not reasonable it is always likely to end up in court.

donajimena · 07/11/2018 15:24

Also in the case of my friend she went for the pension but because only one year had been paid whilst married (the other 15 years he was single) the judge wouldn't include it as she had her own (albeit smaller) I know I'm coming across as negative I just want you to be aware of potential pitfalls. I hope you manage to sort it out. Its absolutely hellish divorce.

Original poster
MassiveMug · 07/11/2018 21:30

Thanks for all the replies, they’ve helped me a lot.

I’ve decided not to go down the court route because of the risk and money.

I had a job interview today for a full time position and it seemed to go really well so fingers crossed I’ll get this. If I do then the best option is to rent for a bit and then a few months down the line I’ll be able to use that to help me get a mortgage.

OP posts:
MissedTheBoatAgain · 07/11/2018 21:51

To OP

Good news on the job front. Only thing that is certain about the court route is that it will be costly.

The consent order will be presented to the family court for approval. If Judge thinks it is fair to both of you it will be approved. However, judge may spot something the solicitor missed and may seek further information before the consent order is approved. So neither of you should be short changed.

ferrier · 08/11/2018 07:33

Don't forget you will lose your carer's allowance if you earn more than a certain amount.