could I really lose the children and their dad be the resident parent!?

[bella1968]

hi, I'm finally going to court for the final hearing of the child arrangements order, CAFCASS has recommended that the children remain living with me and have contact with their father but the other week my stbxh sent to my solicitors through his a couple of messages from our son which clearly said that I was making his life hell and he didn't want to know me anymore.

It was a disciplinary thing and the other thing was he'd had an argument with his sister and took his anger out on me. He's trying to get his dad to side with him because he knows his dad hates me as he insults me to our son all the time.

Will this really sway the CAFCASS officer (who is experienced) or the judge to changing the status quo and make him the resident parent????

Really scared for next Friday

Did you not call the police, he's assaulted you, left a mark in front of witnesses you need that documenting if you are going to be taken seriously and he has stolen your property.

Absolutely you go to the police and file a report for assault.

just thought I'd follow up on this, I found out that after this incident my stbxh called the police and reported it but said that I'd been abusive and that I'd tried to prevent him access to the house and tried to prevent him from leaving. So the last week in August when we were on holiday I received a telephone call from a Social worker and she came for a home visit to see me and the children last Tuesday. Lovely lady, she spent 4 1/2 hours at my place! she said it was such a delight to hear the children so talkative and didn't want to stop them. She saw nothing wrong which probably hasn't made my stbxh pleased because he didn't want the children interviewed just me and was probably hoping to lay the ground to eventually have them taken from me full time.

Friday he picked up the keys to his new place and took half of a pair of my daughter's bed which I said I didn't want him to do, he left a letter advising that he would start to have them for his 7 days from Friday 11th September. So, because the court have not given me an occupation order or non mol order to protect myself twice now I changed the locks. He threatened yesterday to break the door down and call the police so I called them to protect myself and the house (we have agreed to sell - final hearing 9th October). I can't afford the repairs and he's refused to help get the house prepared for selling! and further still refuses to pay child maintenance or for anything for the children saying I get all the money and that I will get CMS when they have 'got their act together!" can't believe the cheek of the man, it's him that's refused to pay me!!!!

Anyway after the 2 1/2 hours that the police spent with me yesterday they have said that he should arrange for them to come to the house to collect the 'agreed' items whilst they are present so that they can "prevent a breech of peace" which sounds ok to me. I told the police I know that I'm not supposed to change the locks but he has his place now so I'm protecting myself and also my belongings. He had damaged the children and continually denigrates me to them although I've tried to protect them from everything else. They are 12 and have dealt with him brilliantly, they still love him and want to be with him which amazes me but I haven't stopped it and have told them I won't, it's there decision and up to them to make up their own mind. We'll see how he copes with 2 preteens, secondary school pressures, puberty, 3 bed house, cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing and a full time job when he's never cleaned a day in his life, did cooking rarely but did alot of watching tv with the kids saying "he's keeping the children entertained" although have said that he's just admitted to the children that he has a girlfriend, the one he's been seeing with them in tow along with her 7 year old child (she is a friend from church!) which he's been seeing since last year but only just owned up to it but sworn the children to keep his secret from me. My daughter was only too pleased to tell me! I said I had thought so as I'd told her before and I'm not bothered, he's not right for me, I think she's mad but hey ho! and said that I'm still not bothered just hope he'll get off my back and leave me in peace!

thanks for listening.