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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Would you have Sex with Husband while Divorcing?

30 replies

Clarita12345 · 21/02/2015 23:30

Would have Sex with husband while divorcing?
I filed for divorce in September but we still live in the same house for financial reasons...!
We have been separated On & Off for few years before I decided to divorce him.
He has been cheating on me for few years with girls who work in our business and I have been trying to keep my family together (3 kids: 15, 11 & 2,5) but it got to a point where I cannot tolerate his behaviour any longer.
he brought a girl who worked for us twice home to spend few days with him while I was away with the kids.
The 1st time in July and this is what prompted me to file for divorce. He said it was wrong to do it but he did it again in Xmas while I was way with the kids.
Our ex-employee keeps asking him to move out but he cannot afford it and is reluctant because him and the little one are so attached to each other. So they keep breaking up giving her time to think if she can accept this situation of us living together and wait until we divorce. She lately asked him to stop seeing me or talking to me when they move in together...so he refused asking her not to start controlling him from the start.....
Anyway, Mr has been taking his stress on me, he shouts at me, he says bad things to me, he also says that I shouldn't talking to him unless it's regarding the business or the kids which I am doing anyway....I don't answer back or get into any arguments with him anymore, I am tired myself, I feel so lonely and sad but I have to keep strong for the kids and for my son who is staking his GCSE exams this year.
He suggested couple of months ago to have sex and only sex, no feelings, no commitment, only sex until I find a new partner and he has found his soul mate as he was still dating the ex employee but I declined it and last night he wrote to me accusing me for turning a blind eye on him and not supporting him as I can see how stressed, sad & lonely he is and sex gets him in a better mood...!
I replied back asking why would he want to have sex with me since he hated me so much....still no reply back.
Thank you

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 21/02/2015 23:37

No. And frankly is tell him to move out. He sounds horrific.

MilesHuntsWig · 21/02/2015 23:44

I think it's disturbing you're even raising the question. He sounds like a grade A bastard, kick him out.

If it were different circumstances and both partners wanted to then why not (in answer to your general question), but in your situation he's just trying to be a controlling nob so tell him to jog on (and I'm really sorry you're in this crap situation).

Fairylea · 21/02/2015 23:50

No. He sounds vile !!

By the time I'd wanted to leave my ex even the sound of him breathing made me feel ill let alone the idea of having sex with him.

WestEast · 21/02/2015 23:52

No.

He's a cunt.

CaptainHolt · 21/02/2015 23:54

No. That would be weird, like having a fuck buddy who you couldn't stand and who was a right shit to you.

duchesse · 21/02/2015 23:58

No. He's treating you like a commodity. Tell him to sling his hook if he can't find his way to being less grumpy without harassing you. and slip bromide in his tea.

Finola1step · 21/02/2015 23:59

Not A Single Chance On this Earth. Never. Ever.

AnyFucker · 22/02/2015 00:00

Are you fucking kidding ?

Finola1step · 22/02/2015 00:00

Oh and he wants to treat you like a prostitute. Without payment.

RubyFlint · 22/02/2015 00:03

So do you want to?!

AdoraBell · 22/02/2015 00:05

No way. You are divorcing him because he has ruined the marriage.

Who the fuck does he think is?

DustyMaiden · 22/02/2015 00:07

No, why? Do you want to be used, catch an STI?

Run away.

expatinscotland · 22/02/2015 00:10

What a twat. NO.

cailindana · 22/02/2015 00:11

What? Really? I can't believe you have to ask!

scousadelic · 22/02/2015 00:14

Absolutely not. He sounds like an idiot, don't touch him with a bargepole

duchesse · 22/02/2015 00:21

He sounds like a whiney, self obsessed, entitled pillock. Can't imagine why he doesn't have a bloody queue of women... Hmm

AlpacaLypse · 22/02/2015 00:28

Have you been able to get any legal advice about turfing him out? I appreciate it can be very hard sometimes when finances are stretched to the limit!

Anyway... no, no and absolutely no.

I know it's super-difficult to force him to go, especially as he and your youngest are so attached, but this is untenable.

He's acting like a manchild, which OW (to give her her due) seems to have picked up on already.

He can FOTTFSOFATFOSM. Change the locks.

plinkyplonks · 22/02/2015 01:03

Just no :/

Original poster
Clarita12345 · 22/02/2015 01:05

Thank you for your prompt messages.
I wasn't asking for an opinion because I had any doubt to say No to the sociopath I was married to but it's always good to read different reactions.
Thank you all x

OP posts:
BuggersMuddle · 22/02/2015 01:07

That is horrible. What would he do if he was single (which is essentially how he's behaving)? He'd use his dominant hand. I'd suggest he goes to it as he's clearly a consummate wanker in the first place, so this shouldn't present a challenge.

BeautifulPain · 22/02/2015 01:09

What a fucking pig, I wouldn't sleep with this pig if he was the last man on earth, just yuck.

momb · 22/02/2015 01:11

If you have sex with him he can contest infidelity as a reason to divorce. Just saying; if he's the type who'll string it out to cause you more misery.

Original poster
Clarita12345 · 23/02/2015 21:45

You are right momb, he will definitely use any mean to cause me misery. If it was not the help of mumsneters to figure out after 17 years of marriage that he is a sociopath and he ticks all the boxes. He is so manipulative.

OP posts:
CrazyOldBagLady · 23/02/2015 21:57

BeautifulPain has hit the nail on the head, what a fucking pig indeed. In fact, I think I'd rather have sex with an actual pig than this low life.

Lucy61 · 28/02/2015 08:18

So he wants to carry on having sex with you but you're not allowed to talk to him? You're his wife, not a hooker!

He wants to carry on having sex with both you and the other woman, stay at your home, run the business as usual and if you object then you're ' not supporting him'. Please get rid.Angry

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