How to have food in the house FiL eats everything

[Z0rr0]

We visited PiL yesterday. FiL’s dementia is advancing. One of the main issues is he forgets when he’s eaten and doesn’t seem to feel sated. Mil says she can no longer have a fruit bowl because every time he goes to the kitchen he will eat another piece of fruit. That doesn’t sound bad except that he takes meds for diabetes so needs to limit his sugar intake and struggles with his bowels and doesn’t always make it to the toilet in time.
If she gets a four pack of yoghurts for the week he will eat them all within a couple of days. He gets up in the middle of the night to make food.
When we visited yesterday we brought fish and chips because she had almost nothing in the fridge or the cupboard. It was actually insane how much chips he kept eating and he finished off a whole pot of curry sauce which is quite fatty so we were all concerned about how his stomach would cope with it, even though MiL didn’t step in to take the chips away which I didn’t really understand. DH thought maybe she didn’t want to seem controlling.
She told us they don’t really even have jam or sauces in the house now as he will just eat the whole lot. He got up the other night and she found him eating bread and cheese and because there was no pickle or anything left he’d opened a tin of chopped tomatoes and ate those on the cheese.
People have said put locks on the fridge or cupboards but he is strong and determined and will just remove them or break them off.
The empty cupboard and fridge were in part because she needs to go shopping which is happening today, but how can she find ways to keep food she wants to have for them, without him eating it all. I think she won’t be able to get special stuff in for Christmas because he will just go through the lot before the day.

Do they have a garage/shed , could she put a fridge in there and get a lock ? She might need to hide food out of the kitchen and not tell him. I don't understand about the chips was he eating other people's or just his own ?

My uncle with Alzeheimers is given snacks throughout the day to try and combat his constant eating/ wanting food, maybe your mil could try that. Sounds exhausting though.

People with dementia do hit the point where they are unable to remember to take meds etc.

locks on cupboards or storing food in garage will be necessary plus someone checking he takes his meds.

That sounds really difficult for your MIL, especially as she’s trying to manage his dementia as well as his diabetes. It might be worth speaking to his dementia team or GP, as changes in appetite and feeling full can happen with dementia, and they may be able to suggest practical support. Perhaps a small supply of suitable snacks that he can access freely could help, but she shouldn’t have to manage this alone.

Maybe they should just stick him on monjaro for the diabetes because it’ll get rid of his Constant craving for food

Does she have a car? Could she lock food away in the boot?

I know this is an issue with dementia sufferers, but is there definitely enough food in the house? A four pack of yoghurts for 2 people will not 'last the week' and it's really not a big deal if he eats them in a couple of days. Is he overweight? Does MIL have a very small appetite? I thought the fridge in the garage or shed suggestion was a good one.

This seems like a practical solution just leave non perishables in the car,

He ate two yoghurts in two days? He's a grown man. Maybe you're getting a bit too obsessed with it as to me that sounds normal. And saying he ate too many chips. I'd eat loads of chips if I had to live in a house where there was no food! If he can't resist it you shouldn't have brought it round for him.

What's his weight like?

Mounjaro or similar sounds like a plan!

Otherwise I suppose a spare fridge in the garage/shed (as suggested), and non perishables out there is a good one. Then every few hours re stock the fridge/cupboards with enough for his required portions. Exhausting but doable I think.

It sounds very cruel to lock food away from someone who is clearly so hungry. Is he a healthy body weight? It sounds as if managing the diabetes is the least of the worries here.

NOT if he's underweight or normal weight. Awful idea.

But it is a good idea to explore if he IS overweight and continues to eat to excess as described.

FML is this the answer to everything these days?

Garage? If they have one make a pantry in there or empty a cupboard and make a food pantry with a lock. Then just leave enough in the day for him restock each morning.
At least your not at the point where he's forgetting to eat it could be worse.

It won’t make any difference. He isn’t eating because he is hungry he is most likely eating because his brain no longer recognises the feeling of being full. Adding a medication to make him feel full isn’t likely to work because the brain still won’t recognise he is full.

To be honest I would go with having plenty of available low calorie snacks available. Like cucumber and veg sticks, crackers etc.
I would store as much food out of sight as possible and locked away. If they have a garage I would lock it in there - change the locks if needs be. Locks on the fridge and freezer and alarms for doors so that she can hear when he goes to fetch things.

He is more than likely not hungry it is usually a symptom of the dementia sadly. Constantly eating isn't good for his health or well-being.

Unless he had had diabetes for many years and has developed complications or has type 1 diabetes, that is the least of his problems.

Is the GP/dementia team aware of the problem? He needs reviewing. Is one of his meds causing excess appetite? Does he have day/night reversal (awake at night thinking it’s daytime)? Sounds very difficult for MIL. How is she managing generally 💐

They do have a garage but he is in and out of there all the time so a good chance that he would just take the food from there too. However as he is quite out of sight out of mind potentially she could get a small fridge in there especially now the weather is getting worse and he is less likely to be out there so much. I’ll suggest it.
With the chips we got two portions which were split between four people but there were so many there was more than half of a portion left and he just kept going back for more and more.

Thanks I mean I think he already snacks quite a lot. He just forgets he’s eaten and doesn’t seem to feel full.

She already manages all his meds for him. And all his medical appointments. He will honestly just rip the locks off or remove them with a screwdriver. He was a very practical man. But the garage might be a possibility. I think she is already trying to store food in other rooms / spaces he doesn’t tend to go. But that’s harder with chilled food.

It’s really hard to know how difficult she finds it as she downplays stuff a lot and will hide what he does to an extent. We live a two hour drive away but she has a lot of family nearby including DSiL who helps quite a lot. I think you’re right and we could recommend that she get more support from the dementia team. I’ll suggest it.

She doesn’t have a car. Her DD lives over the road so potentially they could at least store Christmas stuff there.

But is he overweight???

Two portions of chips between four people does not sound excessive and neither does 4 pots of yoghurt in 2 days. My dad was just the same as he progressed through the middle stages of dementia, he just could not remember having had an apple 30 minutes previously, so would just have another one.

It would maybe be an idea for your MIL to have snacks and food in places where he can help himself if he wishes to do so - maybe not fruit if it's an issue with sugar but other snacks which will fill him up. GP or nurse could advise. Things like unsalted popcorn, crisps or oatcakes. Then keep the food she does not want him to have access to elsewhere.