Waiting for it all to end..

[Marylou62]

I'm so very very torn..
Wanting my darling Mum's awful existence to end... but feeling so guilty about feeling this..
Wanting my Mum to die...

She's had Alzheimer's for about 5 yrs now..
Rapid deterioration in the last month's..
Palliative care only now and I'm reporting every moan and groan so she can have morphine..
I promised her I would do everything in my power to help her go with dignity..
I've bought yellow roses, going to give her a manicure and spray on some Chanel 5 so she's ready to meet my Dad again..(he died 18 mths ago).
Rambling now.. crying and so so sad..

@Marylou62 Dying can be such hard work.
It can take days.
With our beloved animals, we can call a kindly vet out and the terminally Ill animal is sent sweetly to Animal Heaven- I see it as the vet holding open a heavy door for the animal to pass through without the effort dying can take.

I want euthanasia for myself if I ever get dementia- it seems such a cruel and terrifying condition, as if the sufferer is caught up in a bad trip.

Edit: Didn’t see that your Mum is in a care home-
We looked after Dad at home ( he too was agitated at the end- but passed peacefully while we were all asleep.

How are things @Marylou62 ?

I kept wanting to update but visitors have been arriving..
Mum is deteriorating, has colour changes , her heart rate is high..her eyes are open but not focused..
But she's comfortable and warm.

She's still got a strong grip! My brother is here now so I'm going back to the hotel...
Thank you for asking...
I don't think it'll be tonight...
But I've made my peace with the possibility of not being with her at the end...

Mum died peacefully this morning at 8.50am. I was with her holding her hand.. I've shaved her chin hair and given her a manicure.. I'm sitting with her and my family are all here...
Thank you for your support over the last few days..

Oh love her, I'm so glad you were with her.

I am sending you love.

May she rest in peace and rise in glory.

She had a lovely cross in her hands...x

Aw bless you. I was in your situation last June when my Mum passed. My sisters and I spent 11 days sitting with her waiting for the end.

I'm glad your Mum passed peacefully.

I've been holding your mum and you in my thoughts, and I'm so glad you were able to be with her at the end of her journey.

Thank you...x

So sorry for your loss Marylou62

Thank you.. I've kept busy today.. I've bought her some new clothes.. going with my DB to the funeral home tomorrow.. then I'm driving home..I need hugs from my own family now..
Thank you everyone for your support...