Girls Holiday Whilst Financial Difficulties

[FrustratedHusband121]

Hi All,

I'll keep this as brief as I can, but I would really appreciate any feedback from both other husbands and wives on this situation.

The family have had financial difficulties post covid, mainly due to me losing a business and trying to start another one - Bills do get paid; and leaves very little for disposable income. Some months are good and some months are very bad.

My wife has not worked in 24 years of marriage, and I have always provided for the family. She has just returned on a 5 day girls holiday and during that time she has not voluntarily contacted any family members and is being very coy about what she has been up to including not sending any pictures of the trip. This is her 3rd girls trip in about 6 months, but i have not given her any money for this trip and won't say how she is funding it (I have suspicions she is using disability benefit for our child).

She gets very aggressive if i say I am going away for the night for football or work but yet she is saying she will take more trips herself.

We had a major bust up about this recent trip as I caught her out lying about what she had been up to and being inconsistent with her stories. We have had ongoing marital issues and i felt that this trip was unneccessary considering she had been to greece recently without the family. For additional context, no other family member has been able to go away themselves.

Views on this would be very welcome.

Thanks

They have a disabled child. It isn't always practical to return to work 6 months after giving birth and hold down a full time job around all their needs

Brave on mumsnet saying a man can be the victim. I expect you’ll get it explained to you how that can’t be the case here…

That's true, but now the child is in school 7 am until 5pm.

I was a SAHM for 8 years. I didn't have to ask my husband for money as he put it in a joint account.

So does the OP. But his wife is claiming money and doesn't put any of that in there while still having access to the joint account.

Thanks for clarification.

You need to have a discussion then. Possibly you need to break up.

@SleepingStandingUp

They have a disabled child. It isn't always practical to return to work 6 months after giving birth and hold down a full time job around all their needs

The child is 10 & is in school until 5pm & often OP is the one collecting. So unsure why the wife needs carers allowance & DLA & child benefit all to herself. That money should go into the family pot. It seems she spends it on herself.

@FrustratedHusband121

Are the elder children yours too?

So she gets roughly £1000 benefits per month due to disabled child, leaves him to struggle cover everything yet doesn't work.
OP I'd be telling her to move out, if you wfh which allows you to manage your son, she's taking advantage of you and withholding ££ from the family esp your young son.