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Dadsnet

Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

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Original poster

Child benefit , it’s me again sorry!

112 replies

GregAdams · 21/02/2022 23:07

Hello, 3 weeks ago I posted about child benefit. Basically I take care of my son 4 nights out of 7 . This arrangement had been going on since over 2 years now. My sons mother receives all benefits till this day. I received replies on here about applying for the child benefit, however I spoke to couple of people on forum ‘ dads with kids’ and as much as they sounded negative and scared of their exes ,they basically told me that I should stay under the radar and that HMRC child benefit people are going to do everything not to transfer this benefit only to keep it with the mother, they apparently are against men as the family law in general. They also told me that any silly excuse like my ex taking the child to doctors will most likely work against me. The thing is, child benefit website says whoever takes care of children for most days will get the benefit. I was planning to take my son to GP but he feels fine. I can’t really get record of me taking him to doctors as he doesn’t go more often than once or twice a year anyway. Should I wait for the need to go doctors first before applying? That might take some time though. I just don’t know what to do, I don’t want to apply and get rejected for some ridiculous reason and antagonising the situation at the same time. I just want to apply and get get it. I was confident after chatting on here first but then the guys from ‘Dads With Kids ‘ forum kinda put me off. My son is 7yo and I get school letters etc. I also go parents evenings. I’m sorry for rehashing this topic and I understand if I won’t get replies. I’m hoping to hear from someone who had similar situation ( a man maybe) or knows about another man who went through similar situation. I can only assume that if that was another woman applying for it ( second wife) things would have been better, maybe I’m wrong but those guys really put stuff in my head about system being so against men. Thank you.

OP posts:

Original poster

GregAdams · 22/02/2022 21:11

She has no other children. She has her own place from government , I don’t. She never offered me anything other than asking to make her pregnant so she can get bigger place at the same time wanting me to disappear afterwards. I don’t coparent , I parallel parent as she is unable to communicate and reason. I’m not happy with him going to her 3 nights nor is he ,so u assumed it wrong. Please if you want to help I appreciate it but no need to be mediator between me and her. I have known this person for 8 years and there nothing new anyone can say in regards to coparent or speaking with her. Also I don’t want to speak about her as this will trigger nasty comments from people. Keep it simple please and make it about CB only

OP posts:

user1471504747 · 22/02/2022 21:19

So she breeds (or “breads”) babies for the government, and has openly said if she can’t trap you again she’ll trap another man.

But she only has one child? That’s odd OP. She’s clearly not very good at trapping all these programmed by society men who have never heard of a condom.

I don’t know what advice you want OP. Apply for CB or don’t it’s up to you. What more do you want from people on this thread?

user1471504747 · 22/02/2022 21:21

Also to be “given a house by the government” which I’m assuming means she rents a council house, there is most probably many other factors at play based on the state of council housing lists the last decade+

Also not sure who you are to judge someone for having benefits or living on a council house when by the sounds of it you live on benefits too, and want your child more to get more benefits.

Maybe consider being a breader for the government OP if it will give you tax exemptions and a house

doyouwantachuffedybadge · 22/02/2022 21:26

@GregAdams

I don’t speak to the mother. She got pregnant and told me that moder family doesn’t need father. She also said that she breads children for government so they should exempt her from paying taxes. When my son was 4 yo she got back to me talking again, only to ask for another child. I said that I’m not bringing another child into disfunction . She said that she needs bigger place and she will trap someone else. Since then we not talking again. So if u asked me if she would switch CB ? Well u can guess based on her way of thinking lol

She got pregnant???? Tie a knot in it.

LangClegsInSpace · 22/02/2022 21:42

@GregAdams

Well then what you are doing with your proposed CB application is threatening to take away her home and your child's home for half the week. Of course she's not keen.

If she's on benefits and under 35 you would just be swapping the situation around and leaving her to only be able to rent a room in a shared house for herself and your son.

She has her own place from government , I don’t.

Who pays your rent then?

I’m not happy with him going to her 3 nights nor is he ,so u assumed it wrong.

I didn't suggest you were happy with the arrangement, I said you think she's good enough to have him 3 nights a week. If you don't think she's good enough to care for him then never mind CB, you should be applying for full residence.

It's irrelevant how well you and your ex get on or not, what matters is your son's welfare. What's best for him? In almost all circumstances it's best if you can negotiate and keep things stable and civil, even if you hate each others' guts.

From your later posts though, if you were the father of my child I would be minimising contact. I would not want you as an influence in my child's life. It's all about you, how society has programmed you, how nasty women are bla bla. Nothing is your fault or your responsibility. MRA stuff.

Keep it simple please and make it about your son's welfare only.

Piggyk2 · 22/02/2022 21:49

[quote GregAdams]@chicemummy I don’t want to apply for full custody. Courts are leaning towards mothers so most likely judge would push towards 50/50 which I would have to pay for court procedures out of my pocket and so I still wouldn’t get CB plus I would probably end up with 50/50 when at this moment I have 60/40[/quote]
You can go through family mediation. If you are on certain benefits it's free. If it can't be resolved you probably will qualify for legal aid for court.

The thread is odd. Are you on your child's birth certificate?

TracyMosby · 22/02/2022 21:59

Breeds babies for the government.

Has one child.

ridiculous.

ChoiceMummy · 22/02/2022 22:21

@GregAdams

Legally, if you have the child the most you can apply for cb and if the mother wishes to make a counter-claim she can, as I said pages ago.

If you have LCW and benefits, then presumably you could also apply for PIP and ESA. So are/could be receiving in your circumstances more than the average lone parent. So really, the only real gain, would be the additional element FOR UC, approx 290 ish if an older child plus the 80 for cb and the extra room for housing if you're on the housing list. Are you on the list as a person with additional needs, requiring disabled accessible accommodation or is the cb so that you get increased priority when you go on it, but could still be decades with you expected to rent privately in the interim, but getting the housing element paid for either a 1bed or room property depending on your age and of course the council tax contribution too?

. So that's your situation, now what about the mother's?

So she has a council house and doesn't work, so presumably claims universal credit and has a 2 bed property, with the housing element and the child allowance elements and council tax.

So, on the face of it, you with your LCW and potential for hundreds in esa/pip etc are better off financially, except in regards to being allocated a council flat and receiving the housing allowance for a 2bed property.

Yes, you're eligible for it. Is it really in your child's best interests though?...

Are you also putting in your claim for child maintenance. You'd get about £7 a week from your ex's benefit income.

RMS0209 · 22/02/2022 22:25

@GregAdams

It’s ok . I read few comments sounding funny, so I took it as such. I’m not accusing everyone. I know there’s nice people on here who understand and probably wish me well.

Hi hope you are ok

LangClegsInSpace · 23/02/2022 04:40

That's a bit garbled @ChoiceMummy.

ESA has mostly been replaced with UC now. If OP already gets UC LCW he wont get ESA on top.

PIP is very difficult to get. OP has not given details of why he has LCW but if he is able to look after himself and his son for 4 days a week it's unlikely he would qualify for PIP. No harm in applying though.

Social housing is different from help with rent - i.e. UC housing costs element, or HB in old money. If OP got the CB he could get help with rent for a bigger place whether or not he's on the housing list.

Escargooooooo · 23/02/2022 10:50

I'm glad people are seeing this for what it is.

"Now I've got the extra 7% childcare on paper, I can get myself the benefits that this is all about"

Dressed up that it's all about the child. You can see the £ signs in the eyes. To the extent that it's been under two months and he's trying to generate fake doctors appointments. Simply awful.

Sneaky feeling that the extra night is going to be reversed as soon as she realises that it's solely so OP can take her housing entitlement for himself.

Maybe you should "breed children for the government" as you accuse her of, to get the benefits you so badly want. You know, how she's "breeding" all this children. But has one single child. Which according to you, like some bond villain, she revealed her master plan of "breeding for the government" to you beforehand, yet you then knowingly decided to get her pregnant...

PP have you down to a tee.

Escargooooooo · 23/02/2022 10:55

Yes, you're eligible for it. Is it really in your child's best interests though?...

This is not of concern to him. He's already said that. This thread is just (another) about what he can grab for his own gain, at her expense.

And the standard digs at the poisonous ex, naturally.

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