Child benefit , it’s me again sorry!

[GregAdams]

Hello, 3 weeks ago I posted about child benefit. Basically I take care of my son 4 nights out of 7 . This arrangement had been going on since over 2 years now. My sons mother receives all benefits till this day. I received replies on here about applying for the child benefit, however I spoke to couple of people on forum ‘ dads with kids’ and as much as they sounded negative and scared of their exes ,they basically told me that I should stay under the radar and that HMRC child benefit people are going to do everything not to transfer this benefit only to keep it with the mother, they apparently are against men as the family law in general. They also told me that any silly excuse like my ex taking the child to doctors will most likely work against me. The thing is, child benefit website says whoever takes care of children for most days will get the benefit. I was planning to take my son to GP but he feels fine. I can’t really get record of me taking him to doctors as he doesn’t go more often than once or twice a year anyway. Should I wait for the need to go doctors first before applying? That might take some time though. I just don’t know what to do, I don’t want to apply and get rejected for some ridiculous reason and antagonising the situation at the same time. I just want to apply and get get it. I was confident after chatting on here first but then the guys from ‘Dads With Kids ‘ forum kinda put me off. My son is 7yo and I get school letters etc. I also go parents evenings. I’m sorry for rehashing this topic and I understand if I won’t get replies. I’m hoping to hear from someone who had similar situation ( a man maybe) or knows about another man who went through similar situation. I can only assume that if that was another woman applying for it ( second wife) things would have been better, maybe I’m wrong but those guys really put stuff in my head about system being so against men. Thank you.

Hi , I would apply , the worst that can happen is they say no .

Literally no one here can give you a definitive answer, like many have said, apply rather than use these threads as a way to say how crap your ex is.

Do you buy all the school uniform, pay for childcare and activities? The money is meant to be spent on your child, does it matter which parent is doing the spending?

@Ogel I’m not using this thread to say how crap she is . People asked to speak to her about transferring CB so I described how she feels about benefits.

@pearpickingporky I know I was irresponsible with my sperm. I fell for what society programmed me from when I was a child. “ women are about love ,about family, just be there as a man and everything will be ok”
My fault I didn’t do my own research

@chicemummy I don’t want to apply for full custody. Courts are leaning towards mothers so most likely judge would push towards 50/50 which I would have to pay for court procedures out of my pocket and so I still wouldn’t get CB plus I would probably end up with 50/50 when at this moment I have 60/40

I don’t think you can criticise ex for wanting more money in benefits when you want the exact same thing and are also planning on living on benefits.

There’s no tax allowance or exemption for having a child.

Thought this was dadsnet not mrasnet

@live for summer why would I worry about her financial security when I have my son most of the time and no one worries about child when he lives with me . Are you saying that I’m not a parent and therefore my situation is not important at all ?

Sounds like what you’re looking for OP is an incel forum for others to spew hatred of women with you.

Have you considered dressing up as Batman and protesting by your local council for CB? We get a couple of those weirdos every now and then where I work

@user147 I don’t criticise her. I simply have my son most of the time and I wanted advice how to transfer the benefit which am entitled to.

@user147 I don’t spew hatred. I never made any hateful comments. Read my posts .

You can ask for help with CB without your weird trapping, society, benefits, bigger house nonsense.

How society programmed you to “just be there as man” has no bearing on CB

[quote YerAWizardHarry]@Hapoydayz the VAST majority of families still receive child benefit. A couple can earn £100,000 a year and still be entitled to every penny of it[/quote]
Or £60k and be entitled to none of it.

Which in our case with 7 children makes a pretty big difference.

@user14715 someone made comments “ you wasn’t being careful with your sperm “ I then replied that society programmed me to believe in women without questioning it. That’s not spewing hate.

Make your claim and see what happens. The worst they can do is say no

Make a claim.
You will either get it or not. 🤷‍♀️

Yes I think I should do exactly that. I don’t want to spend on here any longer because people think that I hate my ex or some other funny stuff. Literally a man can’t ask for help.

@GregAdams

Yes I think I should do exactly that. I don’t want to spend on here any longer because people think that I hate my ex or some other funny stuff. Literally a man can’t ask for help.

Literally did ask for help and got loads.

Being a man isn't relevant, but it very much looks as if you want it to be.

You seem like hard work. Doctors might be in the same area but who's address is registered with the doctors and the school yours or mum's? Who buys school uniform?

None of that matters. If he pays out for the children to the value of child benefit then he is just as entitled to claim it as his ex is.

@bakewelltar school letters come to both parents. She put him into this school since nursery . So I don’t know how school sees this ,is it address 1 and address 2 or some other way. I was going to ask school to make it main address since he spends more time with me . I didn’t ask them because they seem a bit discriminating whenever I ask them for something. Every time whenever theres some issue they forget to let me know and when I address it ,they apologise and promise that it won’t happen again,until it does. Then they trying to explain themselves “ but we did call the mother etc” . So as u can see they have this attitude towards me. GP is registered at her address. He is registered there since birth and I haven’t thought about changing it until now.

It’s like this school doesn’t want to accept me other than babysitter. Definitely I am not being treated like the mother. I feel embarrassed now even bringing this up with them because it sounds like I’m begging for acknowledgment and approval which they are for some reason reluctant to give me

Just apply and see what they say don't mess around with the doctors unless it's going to benefit your child

@Escargooooooo it could be £5 a week. The parent that has the child most of the time should be the one to claim CB, that’s literally what it says. If OP is entitled to £85 a month, whether that’s a life changing amount to put food on the table or not, why can’t he claim it? Why should it go to DCs mum when she doesn’t have him for the majority of the week? I’d love to hear your answer

Because, rather than the "well, I have him one extra night so it's mine, so there" point scoring attitude, you have to question, why the OP is that desperate to the point he's going to the lengths of faking doctors appointments with his own child just to "win" £20 a week from his ex because he has the child one more night a week than she does.

It's clearly not a good relationship between them, and you have to wonder why he'd be so petty. £200 a week, fair enough. But £2 something a day? All this effort? Wasting doctors time. It's to point score, literally anything he can. Sad.

How long have you been having him both at all, and for 4 nights a week?

Why the need to change his address at the doctor's? Is it that critical? Why?