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Original poster

Child benefit , it’s me again sorry!

112 replies

GregAdams · 21/02/2022 23:07

Hello, 3 weeks ago I posted about child benefit. Basically I take care of my son 4 nights out of 7 . This arrangement had been going on since over 2 years now. My sons mother receives all benefits till this day. I received replies on here about applying for the child benefit, however I spoke to couple of people on forum ‘ dads with kids’ and as much as they sounded negative and scared of their exes ,they basically told me that I should stay under the radar and that HMRC child benefit people are going to do everything not to transfer this benefit only to keep it with the mother, they apparently are against men as the family law in general. They also told me that any silly excuse like my ex taking the child to doctors will most likely work against me. The thing is, child benefit website says whoever takes care of children for most days will get the benefit. I was planning to take my son to GP but he feels fine. I can’t really get record of me taking him to doctors as he doesn’t go more often than once or twice a year anyway. Should I wait for the need to go doctors first before applying? That might take some time though. I just don’t know what to do, I don’t want to apply and get rejected for some ridiculous reason and antagonising the situation at the same time. I just want to apply and get get it. I was confident after chatting on here first but then the guys from ‘Dads With Kids ‘ forum kinda put me off. My son is 7yo and I get school letters etc. I also go parents evenings. I’m sorry for rehashing this topic and I understand if I won’t get replies. I’m hoping to hear from someone who had similar situation ( a man maybe) or knows about another man who went through similar situation. I can only assume that if that was another woman applying for it ( second wife) things would have been better, maybe I’m wrong but those guys really put stuff in my head about system being so against men. Thank you.

OP posts:
Escargooooooo · 21/02/2022 23:13

It's £20 a week ish, isn't it.

I know there will be people along soon to claim this a life changing amount to put food on the table (and in 1% of cases it genuinely is). However being realistic, in that you are inherently likely to be in the 99% who can afford to eat etc, why is it so utterly important that you get this transferred over to yourself on the basis you have DS one night more?

If you've been starting multiple threads over this, why is it so important to you?

dementedpixie · 21/02/2022 23:14

You can make a claim. If there is a dispute between you and his mother as to who gets it then the CB people will decide. She will be notified about your claim so maybe warn in advance.

dementedpixie · 21/02/2022 23:16

Are you a lower earner?
Do you need the money more than her?
What is your motivation?

Yogurtpotofdoom · 21/02/2022 23:20

The worst thing that can happen is they say no surely. If there is a dispute from DC mother, then you will be required to prove how many days you have the child. Has it been arranged via court order? Is it likely to cause a fall out with your ex if you were to contest it?

I do agree that it is not a life changing sum of money. It all depends on whether or not you are applying for it because you are financially desperate or simply out of the principle. If it is likely to cause a fall out between you and your ex, is it worth doing that if you don't 'need' the money?

Bakewelltart987 · 21/02/2022 23:28

Apply the worst they can say is no. Altho you might have to prove you have him more. An if their is no court order mum might go funny and say fine he will come to you 1 night less.

Freehugs · 21/02/2022 23:28

I think it’s not about who takes him to the doctor, but which doctors surgery he’s registered at - so is he registered in your area or his mothers area?

Is it something you could approach your ds’s mum about? Could you both come to a better arrange over splitting the costs of raising your son?

It the custody 4/3 court ordered?

Louisianagumbo · 21/02/2022 23:30

If you've read the person that has the child the most is the person entitled to the benefit and that is you, just apply for it. If you don't get it, then it won't be because you didn't take your healthy son to the doctor. And if you don't get it, you're in no worse position than you are now.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 21/02/2022 23:31

Just apply and stop being a drama llama about it 🤷‍♀️

FireInCairo · 21/02/2022 23:32

Do you need the £20 odd quid a week? What's stopping you just applying for it? If you're the lower earner and struggling then go for it. If this is a spite move then just stop

Hapoydayz · 21/02/2022 23:34

Just apply for it if you really need it. A lot of people don't get it now unless you earn under a particular amount

YerAWizardHarry · 21/02/2022 23:36

@Hapoydayz the VAST majority of families still receive child benefit. A couple can earn £100,000 a year and still be entitled to every penny of it

Freehugs · 21/02/2022 23:37

Just seen this on the cab website

“ evidence from your child's school or doctors that shows your address as the child's address”

So is your name and address down as her main details at the doctors?

ExcuseeeeMe · 21/02/2022 23:37

If you are buying the clothes and school uniform etc then apply for it .

Freehugs · 21/02/2022 23:38

I have to pay it all back when I do my tax return. Don’t technically get a penny of it.

Raisinsun · 21/02/2022 23:44

If your after it because of principle can you just ask you ex to split it with you 50/50 i think you'd get say 40ish a month. Also you may be entitled to some cms of your ex is you have you child more.

Cheekypeach · 21/02/2022 23:46

Can you even imagine the sexes being reversed

‘My kids dad has them 3 nights a week but insists upon all the benefits going to him’

I can only IMAGINE the responses on here

Original poster
GregAdams · 21/02/2022 23:52

Yes it’s 20quid . But this 20 gives you access to affordable housing which in London is impossible to get for single man . Also you can work 16 hours and get child credit to top it up. GP is in the same area as we live 300 yards from each other. Even if the mother said that she can take him one day more this shouldn’t do anything because for the past two years she was fine with the arrangement plus there’s no court order in place. I can also say to HMRC that from tomorrow I’ll keep him 6 nights out of 7 if that helps ( no court order so they can’t dictate or advise about amount of time)
Like I said this child benefit is not really relevant, it’s for protection as a parent. Because right now according to this whole situation I have no dependent children. My child turns into thin air as soon as walks into my house , doesn’t cost me anything, I don’t need to provide roof over his head .
Right now I’m not working I’m on limited capability for work.

OP posts:
Whiskersonkittens21 · 22/02/2022 00:04

@GregAdams

Yes it’s 20quid . But this 20 gives you access to affordable housing which in London is impossible to get for single man . Also you can work 16 hours and get child credit to top it up. GP is in the same area as we live 300 yards from each other. Even if the mother said that she can take him one day more this shouldn’t do anything because for the past two years she was fine with the arrangement plus there’s no court order in place. I can also say to HMRC that from tomorrow I’ll keep him 6 nights out of 7 if that helps ( no court order so they can’t dictate or advise about amount of time) Like I said this child benefit is not really relevant, it’s for protection as a parent. Because right now according to this whole situation I have no dependent children. My child turns into thin air as soon as walks into my house , doesn’t cost me anything, I don’t need to provide roof over his head . Right now I’m not working I’m on limited capability for work.
Just to warn you the "working 16 hours and child credit top up" isn't the situation you'd be in. Because you'd be a new claim you'd have to claim Universal Credit instead.

You can calculate how much you'd receive from the gov.uk website though 😊 best of luck

ode2me · 22/02/2022 00:05

How odd. You must be struggling enormously.

Original poster
GregAdams · 22/02/2022 00:26

Sarcasm and misandry . I thought ladies were fighting for equality. Funny how we all of a sudden not equal when the table is turned and a man needs help.

OP posts:
TealSapphire · 22/02/2022 00:35

How are you just going to keep him 6 nights from tomorrow? Does his mother get no say?

CheshireChat · 22/02/2022 00:38

Where's the sarcasm, let alone the misandry as you were mostly told to go for it Hmm?

And are you simply planning on keeping him 6 nights without warning the mother? You do realise if you do that she will want a court order in place to prevent it from happening again?

Original poster
GregAdams · 22/02/2022 00:39

Same way she doesn’t get to say that I will have him one night less, as someone suggested in comments

OP posts:
ExcuseeeeMe · 22/02/2022 00:50

All I see is people telling you to apply no sarcasm at all. You asked HRMC and they told you to apply. I’m not sure how you expect anyone on here to have the ability to change that .

Original poster
GregAdams · 22/02/2022 00:53

It’s ok . I read few comments sounding funny, so I took it as such. I’m not accusing everyone. I know there’s nice people on here who understand and probably wish me well.

OP posts:
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