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Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

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Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

Dadsnet

Just how far would a man go to get a woman into bed?

116 replies

newlifenewname · 10/09/2007 10:07

I am quite surprised to find that I have probably turned into a one shag only date despite my efforts for this not happen, so please tell me just how sophisticated a man's tactics for bedding women might be?

My date went to a fair amount of expense taking me out, picking me up and taking me home over two dates and said some pretty forward looking stuff and now he seems to have disappeared.

I just want to know the reality.

OP posts:

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AbRoller · 10/09/2007 10:42

I think sex on a second date is fine, it's fine on a first date if that's what you want. We are just as entitled to fancy a shag as much as a man BUT if you're looking for something more than just a shag then I think second date is a little too soon.

LazyLinePainterJane · 10/09/2007 10:44

My opinion is that it makes no difference when you have sex. If a man is not interested in a relationship, he just isn't. Whether it's sex on the first date or on the tenth.

mymama · 10/09/2007 10:45

My best friend was like this for years.

Bloody exhausting it was.

If he likes you he won't care if you shagged on the second date.

If he doesn't like you it wouldn't matter if you waited until the tenth date.

flowerybeanbag · 10/09/2007 10:45

newlife step away from the phone....

I don't think DTD on the second date is necessarily a big no-no.
BUT obsessing definitely is.

Keep yourself busy this week, organise lots of nice treats for yourself, shopping/see friends/big bar of chocolate etc etc and forget about it (easier said than done...)

This will intrigue him if he is genuinely interested.

Carmenere · 10/09/2007 10:46

Totally agree about the sex thing. It makes not a jot of difference when you shag tbh. If he is the type of judgemental hypocrite who wants to shag you and then judges you negatively for it I wouldn't want to have anything to do with him.

WelshBoris · 10/09/2007 10:47

It's not super bad, but if you want this to be long term then you probably should have waited longer.

expatinscotland · 10/09/2007 10:48

I agree with AbRoller.

newlifenewname · 10/09/2007 10:48

You see, this is just what I need! Voices of reason because mine deserts me when my likeability is on the line. My self esteem is shite.

OP posts:

mymama · 10/09/2007 10:49

My good friend gave her (now dh) a blow job the first day she met him. At a camping ground. In his tent.

If he likes you it won't matter that you shagged on the second date.

expatinscotland · 10/09/2007 10:51

I screwed my ex husband before we even went on a date.

But then, I didn't phone him or that afterwards.

I thought, 'If he's into me, it will fall into place.'

AbRoller · 10/09/2007 10:52

I need to clarify...I think if your looking for more than just a shag then the second date is too early not because it makes a difference to him if he likes you but because it makes a difference to you if he doesn't call 5 mins later.

Take some others advice and relax a little. If he calls great but it's not going to happen any quicker because you're obsessing over it, that'll just drive you mad. You've txt him already so leave it be now for a while (I know that's hard so I do feel for you)

Good luck

newlifenewname · 10/09/2007 10:53

Thanks All, even you WB! Actually, especially you since you're not female

OP posts:

NappiesGalore · 10/09/2007 11:01

oh newlife... poor you. know what you mean .. youe out on a limb and in unknown territory (almost said virgin territory, but resisted!)

blunt as she sounds, boris actually knows what shes talking about here.

fact is, man or woman,people pull away from neediness, and are attracted to intrigue... thats not to say youve got to play games or any of that crap... but you seriously need to come across as though;
you like him, you hd a nice shag, and now you are going about your life without much of a thought to him and if it pans out, youll be pleased and ifit doesnt, you couldnt give a monkeys coz you know you are worth tons and if someone els doesnt, then they are mistaken!

that is the message you must send. and youll send it by forgetting all about it till he calls. or pretending to at least

adopt an air of knowing you are worth a million bucks and if he doesnt see it, its his loss and you couldnt care less.

(you are, btw. i happen to know)

NappiesGalore · 10/09/2007 11:30

oi! come back and read my post you!

Anteater · 10/09/2007 11:51

went to Aberdeen once and actually it was far tooooo far..

Shagged dw on 2nd date..

WelshBoris · 10/09/2007 11:54

I do I'm talking about.

Sorry for being so blunt, but if you were my RL friend this is what I'd be saying to you.

WelshBoris · 10/09/2007 11:55

And then I'd drag you out to town and make you neck 19 year old boys and drink tequilla

Dropdeadfred · 10/09/2007 12:00

why do you have so may similar pics of you on your proile btw..was it asking for hairstyle tips or something..?

DaDaDa · 10/09/2007 12:10

It's been a lonnnnnng time since I was in this position but the one thing that would put me off would be obsessive ringing/texting (God, it's so long that texting didn't even exist when I was first seeing DW)

Keep away from the phone (unless it's a witty reply to a text from him) or he'll be mentally picturing Glenn Close in the bath and hearing the music from Pyscho whenever he hears from you.

A bit of mystery is a good thing.

expatinscotland · 10/09/2007 12:16

Well, yes, if I shagged a bloke and then he started texting me and rining all the time and sending me his photo I'd leave skid marks, tbh.

Cappuccino · 10/09/2007 12:17

texting nice as a conversation maybe

texting to say "I have just had a little sleep" tho is bizarre and not particularly attractive

UnquietDad · 10/09/2007 12:26

Not read the thread, but my immediate answer to the question is "At least as far as central Europe."

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EricL · 10/09/2007 12:27

I think you are making a lot more of the situation than needs be. There really is no need to keep questioning yourself, your next response, his motives, etc., as it is just turning this pleasant and natural experience into a stress for you (and him).

I think if you are the type of person that worries about his kind of situation and gets immediately emotionally involved in the whys and wherefores of it then you really shouldnt be sleeping with someone after only seeing them twice.

EscapeFrom · 10/09/2007 12:28

Wait until thursday before you decide this ...

UnquietDad · 10/09/2007 12:35

I once asked a woman to see a collection of tropical fruits, and that worked.

Which answers the question "How far would a mango get a woman into bed?"

.... What?

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