Just how far would a man go to get a woman into bed?

[newlifenewname]

I am quite surprised to find that I have probably turned into a one shag only date despite my efforts for this not happen, so please tell me just how sophisticated a man's tactics for bedding women might be?

My date went to a fair amount of expense taking me out, picking me up and taking me home over two dates and said some pretty forward looking stuff and now he seems to have disappeared.

I just want to know the reality.

[charliecat]

Ive just read all of this...so what did happen in the end?

[thetoothfairy]

Read this thread with interest. My problem is: I simply can't get the "mind games". I can see the issues about frequent phone calls/texts etc, but what I really find difficult is when I don't ring - although it would be nice to chat - for fear of being thought a stalker/needy. I don't know why we all go through this sort of dance except that if we don't we give out the wrong message because we're expected to do it!!!!

Help and thoughts please from you wise ones!!

[Pan]

Mango - very funny, UQD..

Agree with others about not getting hooked on the sex thing..it isn't going to determine anything as to when you shagged each other.

How far would I go to get a woman in bed?? Probably as far as changing the bedding. Not much further than that........

[NappiesGalore]

i shagged dp senseless on...ooh, i think i made it to second date. i played really hard to get! (i wasnt. i love shaggin and fancied the pants off him and boy, was it worth it!)

there is no formula for when its right to sleep with someone. its when it feels right. and if it doesnt work out, then ok. and if it does, then ok!

we are allowed to be physical, tactile, passionate, horny, rampant beings too, you know. hell, ive evn been to europe for a shag

and as for waiting forever and a day till you know theyre not going anywhere before you let your guard down, so to speak... well, what if you do all that and then its rubbish? what if you invest great swathes of yourself in someone only to find the chemistry is naught but a skidmark in a pair of old pants? balance is the key.

in fact, you know what? boris said it earlier; the key is to love yourself and be happy with yourself and that, along with your other attributes, That is irresistably attractive. let the good times roll, baby.

[WelshBoris]

Now I've clicked on your profile, I'll agree with the others. You are very attractive.

[pyjamaqueen]

Although you seem to be feeling resigned to it possibly going nowhere now, just thought I'd add that I slept with dh on first date and we've been married 10 years now.

[newlifenewname]

I take it you mean my mumsnet profile rather than my match one?

God Nappies and Cappuccino you are making me feel better about myself already

Not sure what to say about your DH cino but lol anyway!

[lou33]

lol cappuccino

[Cappuccino]

my dh has just looked at your profile and said 'well she's not going to have any problem pulling'

I am currently not speaking to my dh

[NappiesGalore]

hiya nlnn

i wouldnt be so pessimistic about body image issues... i used to be about as low as it gets and on self destruct and allow all sorts of crap to 'happen' to me... and i came out of it ok. (on the whole, i do have my sketchy patches re self esteem, even now, i have to admit)

i think you need to concentrate on YOU for a bit. maybe even use and abuse a few maleable peeps yourself... it really helps to give an insight into the mentality of the 'chased' - as i found out by accident a few times!

you have a hell of a lot to offer, and you DO know it really... theres no way you are going to grow old alone or any of the other wild and irrational fears you may have. trust me!

[newlifenewname]

Check the photos in this profile notsure if link will work. Is like where's Wally?!

[newlifenewname]

Self esteem or poor body image is difficult to sort quickly. I'm a lot better but I don't think I'll ever be 100 percent okay on this so I will have to try and deal with relationships alongside the body esteem issues. What do you reckon Dior? Interesting that you and I share a few issues here!

[lou33]

the majority of ons i have had have been with people i already knew

especially as i got older

[Dior]

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[Dior]

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[expatinscotland]

WEll, I like it, too, Dior, but I attach too many feelings to it so I stuck to one-nighters so that way I didn't know them enough to get attached.

[Dior]

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[Dior]

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[newlifenewname]

But I'm into sex and there lies the problem. I'm not insecure about my sexual performance but somewhere along the line body image and self esteem and stuff gets all mixed up. Is a bit of a dichotomy.

[lou33]

bob is better than one nighters, guaranteed good time

[expatinscotland]

Then don't get nekkid. Consider it a lesson learned. Just tell them when it starts getting hot and heavy that you aren't into casual sex. If they walk, well, hey, your feelings don't get hurt as much as if you did it with them.

[lou33]

teh answer to that is dressing up costumes

[expatinscotland]

If I ever had to 'date' again I couldn't be bothered. I'd stick to one-nighters and Bob, the battery-operated boyfriend.

[newlifenewname]

I hate it Dior, for all the fun there is triple the heartache unless you are just ballsy and gutsy with a don't give a toss attitude. I start out like that but then as soon as I get nekkid I need reassurance.

Actually I think I just hit the nail on the head for myself there.

[lou33]

*no