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Original poster

what's up with the self pleasure thing with guys???????

56 replies

wishing1 · 16/02/2007 08:27

My dh and I didn't have alot of sex before we moved in just on the weekend, i thought he had a low sex drive, haha. when I moved in it was all the time and the middle of the night. Now that we have been in the same house for quite some time it is 2-3 times per week, but occasionally he will not try for 4 days in a row and that is after he has spent "alot" of alone time in the bathroom. From a guys point of view, why would you choose to please yourself in the bathroom even when your partner is home? What is so much better about that than just having sex, and by the way, he is very lazy, he has been on top once in 6 months, I ALWAYS have to do all the work.

OP posts:
FioFio · 16/02/2007 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 16/02/2007 10:13

kittylette, is that you?

paulaplumpbottom · 16/02/2007 13:37

Surely women feel this way to? I can do it myself in less than 5 minutes if I need to where sex takes a bit longer. It could be just a time thing.

Original poster
wishing1 · 16/02/2007 13:47

yeah, but it makes some women, including me, feel like a failure and maybe he is afraid of heights, haha. No, he's afraid of doing any of the work it takes.

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 16/02/2007 14:08

Oh hun, you shouldn't feel that way. Two or three times a week is about average. My Dh and I used to go at it like rabbits for the first three years we were together, but now we are parents and the lust wears off a bit. This is completely normal.

paulaplumpbottom · 16/02/2007 14:10

Wishing can you beat him to it, so to speak. Try having sex in the mornings for instance before he has a chance to go to the bathroom.

Original poster
wishing1 · 16/02/2007 14:21

paulaplumpbottom
Thanks for the advice that's sweet but we have different work schedules, he's not a morning person, he gets up super early (he's a physician) so it's in the evening when he goes to the downstairs bathroom before bed, I think I just need to discuss it with him, I am in my prime thirtees and no kids in the house, just us!!

OP posts:
hotpot · 16/02/2007 20:27

Why does it have to be sex? Maybe he just wants a hand job- if he is truly lazy offer to lend him a hand, or better still get your mouth round it!!!!

northernjon · 18/02/2007 22:33

"Two or three times a week is about average."

exxageration of the year

every two or three years more like

Catbabydaddy · 21/02/2007 07:41

If its bothering you then definitely talk to him about it. He may find masturbation to be a stress relief that offers something different to sex.

slayerette · 21/02/2007 07:55

Two or three times a week?? Oh lordy lord, don't show my dh this thread...Are you sure you didn't mean to type 'a month'? Or 'a year'?

Original poster
wishing1 · 21/02/2007 19:15

I'm guessing 2-3 times per week having sex is normal? The longest we've gone is 4 days in a row, hey what can I say, I'm in my prime and he is always satisfied too

OP posts:
burhbar · 21/02/2007 19:24

My dh is a once a week guy and even then he can happily go 2 weeks with nothing. Neither does he pleasure himself - I've asked. It can be a problem as I'd like it to be more. But we compromise.

Original poster
wishing1 · 21/02/2007 20:12

He might have low testosterone levels, guys need around 25mg of zinc per day for testosterone levels and that helps drive. My sis's hubby didn't want it for an entire month and they used to be rabbits. She bought sexy outfits, tried everything and he just didn't want it, he wouldn't talk about it either, so finally since she is in her prime, told him he needs to put out or talk about why he doesn't want to. He said he would love to but didn't think he could. He went to the doc and had tests, his hormones were out of wack, they put him on zinc and testosterone cream and prescribed some viagra. Zinc also protects against prostate cancer in men and is essential. Good luck

OP posts:
tia2 · 21/02/2007 21:04

lol hello...........................................................................................................................?

tia2 · 21/02/2007 21:04

lol hello...........................................................................................................................?

SpareWheel · 14/03/2007 20:02

It's def. a time thing.

You can polish the old chap yourself in about 3 mins, but if I only took 3 mins over DW each time, it would pretty soon become worse than irregular sex. As it is, IMHO it's better to do it less regularly, but when you're relaxed, have time to do it properly and don't have disctractions like work etc. on your mind.

If you want a more regular quickie, then tell him you just want a wham-bam-thank-you-mam and he'll probably be happy to oblige !

Pann · 14/03/2007 23:01

ditto SpareWheel.

lazyanna · 16/03/2007 14:43

God, why can't you just NOT do it?

MamaG · 16/03/2007 14:44

ask Cod

She's an expert on wanking

poppynic · 16/03/2007 14:48

My dp wondered last night whether there was a support group for addicts? He would definitely join. However, I must say I haven't given him much choice recently.

HappyDaddy · 16/03/2007 16:49

If there was a support group for wank addicts, it would be massively oversubscribed!

lazyanna, why are you so bothered? it keeps us happy

nailpolish · 16/03/2007 16:50

lol @ fio

HappyDaddy · 16/03/2007 16:51

hello np, sweetheart. how are you?

nailpolish · 16/03/2007 16:52

fine baby

you?