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Original poster

what's up with the self pleasure thing with guys???????

56 replies

wishing1 · 16/02/2007 08:27

My dh and I didn't have alot of sex before we moved in just on the weekend, i thought he had a low sex drive, haha. when I moved in it was all the time and the middle of the night. Now that we have been in the same house for quite some time it is 2-3 times per week, but occasionally he will not try for 4 days in a row and that is after he has spent "alot" of alone time in the bathroom. From a guys point of view, why would you choose to please yourself in the bathroom even when your partner is home? What is so much better about that than just having sex, and by the way, he is very lazy, he has been on top once in 6 months, I ALWAYS have to do all the work.

OP posts:
FoghornLeghorn · 16/03/2007 16:54

My name is Happy Daddy and I am a Wank Addict .

Lol Lol Lol

HappyDaddy · 16/03/2007 17:02

Foghorn, you'll never hear me deny that!!

Ooooh np, say that again...

nailpolish · 16/03/2007 17:11

HD i have chilli for tea and apple pie and custard

when will you be home baby?

HappyDaddy · 16/03/2007 17:12

I'm leaving here at 5.30, sweetheart. I should be home about 6.15.

Shall I pick up some wine on the way?

nailpolish · 16/03/2007 17:25

yes bubbles

HappyDaddy · 16/03/2007 17:27

I'm not a chimp, you know!!

nailpolish · 16/03/2007 17:27

you still there?

Original poster
wishing1 · 27/03/2007 16:02

My dh needs to join the wank addicts!! It pisses me off when I'm home and he is in the bathroom, WTF, us women just don't understand and he really doesn't like quickies, thinks it's impersonal but wtf is wanking in the bathroom? I get so pissed because he needs a 48 hour recovery period to do it with me from wanking, just isn't in the mood after that and blames it on being tired when I know it's from wanking!!! Should I discuss this with him because he gets embarassed easily but tired of him using the lie I'm tired when he wasn't too tired to have a date with his hand!! Just be honest, "I wanked" I wouldn't care if he and I could work something out!

OP posts:
HoppyDaddy · 27/03/2007 16:10

48 hours recovery? Jesus, what's he doing with it?

Come one, wanking is no substitute for sex. Just a quick relief. I'd have a word, definately, it sounds like an excuse to me.

Original poster
wishing1 · 27/03/2007 16:12

Yeah, he rarely could get it up 2 days in a row when we were dating so he doesn't like sex the next day but the day after, it's like he takes turns, he has sex with me and 2 days later he wanks and then 2 days later he has sex with me, when we are on trips and we have alot of sex, he will come home like he has been looking forward to wanking again and make "time" in the bathroom, run the bathtub and lock the door and then it's back to the routine of it all, soooo sick of it but he is such a closed person, how do you bring up the issue?

OP posts:
HoppyDaddy · 27/03/2007 16:17

I think you'll have to be blunt. He'll shy away from it, otherwise. Make a point of telling him how UPSET it makes you, like you feel he doesn't want you, or something. That'll make him react differently to "OI, stop wanking for fuck's sake".

Original poster
wishing1 · 27/03/2007 16:20

Thanks so much, good advice, although you know I want to say "stop spending so much time with you damn hand"!!

OP posts:
HoppyDaddy · 27/03/2007 16:27

.

Perhaps you could paint a hand on your face and say "Will you shag me now?"

Jacobsdad · 27/03/2007 16:49

Interesting thread!

I think Hoppy is right - dont got at him otherwise I think you will find it makes it worse and he will go to bigger lengths to find a way of doing it without you knowing!

Every guy does it - just like ever woman does (whats it they say, 1% of women admit to masturbation, the other 99% are liars!) The thing is that it seems to be having a real effect on you and its time he stopped or at least talked to you about it.

I think you have to sit down with him and talk it through. If you sure thats what hes up to in the bathroom you have to find out why hes doing it and more to the point why. I think you can be sure that hes playing out some kind of fantisy in his head and theres every chance it could be about you and something he feels you would be uncomfortable with - has to be worth a chat!!!!

Original poster
wishing1 · 27/03/2007 18:50

jacobsdad:

Thanks for the advice, I'm sure that's what he is doing because he has left "evidence" way too many times. It's a very touchy topic of course and yes all women do it as well but if I had the chance to have sex or do that, I'd take the sex and I would not want to deprive my partner, it's not fair, he just doesn't seem to care and I look like a freakin supermodel, come on, it's not about a few pounds or anything like that I am a model for God's sake, he always says he has never had so much attention in his life as to the special attention and treatment he gets since he has been with me. Does it feel better than sex? Is it about laziness and just doing it before bed to sleep good, what is the deal?

OP posts:
Jacobsdad · 27/03/2007 19:40

Its really odd that he does it so much instead of being with you. Personally I would choose to be with my wife anyday over having a quick 5 knuckle shuffle in the bathroom!

Not really sure as to what to advise but if I were you I would do as I said before and talk to him to try to find out why it seems so important to him.

Are you really a model? maybe hes thinking about ugly women of something strange!!!

Original poster
wishing1 · 27/03/2007 21:12

yes, that's what boggles me is that it is important to him, he creates time for that and then just lays around the house the rest of the day and yes, I am a model, I wish he felt the same way as you. Do you think he's gay?

OP posts:
morningpaper · 27/03/2007 21:17
Hmm
morningpaper · 27/03/2007 21:18

"48 hours recovery? Jesus, what's he doing with it?"

That should be quote of the week btw

Original poster
wishing1 · 27/03/2007 21:30

I like that quote but like I said, he is damn lazy and all about hisself and he has me and I have no one to look after me, so I guess it wouldn't be bad to look elsewhere since he isn't interested in stepping up to the plate.

OP posts:
Dior · 27/03/2007 21:35

Message withdrawn

morningpaper · 27/03/2007 21:39

Dior

Dior · 27/03/2007 21:42

Message withdrawn

morningpaper · 27/03/2007 21:43

You know I read the 812 post and thought it sounded odd

vimfuego · 27/03/2007 22:08

wishing1 you sound so ANGRY... relax a bit please.