what's up with the self pleasure thing with guys???????

[wishing1]

My dh and I didn't have alot of sex before we moved in just on the weekend, i thought he had a low sex drive, haha. when I moved in it was all the time and the middle of the night. Now that we have been in the same house for quite some time it is 2-3 times per week, but occasionally he will not try for 4 days in a row and that is after he has spent "alot" of alone time in the bathroom. From a guys point of view, why would you choose to please yourself in the bathroom even when your partner is home? What is so much better about that than just having sex, and by the way, he is very lazy, he has been on top once in 6 months, I ALWAYS have to do all the work.

Hi wishing

I doubt he's gay so I really wouldnt go down that path. Mind you, you may get to the end of that path and find "the gate swings both ways!" I honestly doubt it though.

If I were you i would have the same concern as you and others do on here - 48 hours! Ive never come across a guy like that before but thats not to say its strange - wer'e all different i guess.

From a guys point of view we work like this...

We have sex or maturbate - the moment we ejaculate all the "horniness" shoots out with the rest of it and we have to wait a while for it to build up again. For some it takes a few hours - others a day or so. Guys just dont get horny again straight away and maybe it take longer for him. On saying that the point here would be then dont wank if you want to feel horny the next night so i do see your point.

It does sound as though he is pretty lazy but its really strange that he takes matters into his own hand alot - it takes a lot more effort to do that than to enjoy your wife!

thanks for the guys point, I think he needs more recovery time after that because even when we were first dating if we had sex that day and tried the next he couldnt get it up until the next he would try really hard but it just wouldn't happen, and why he prefers the hand is a matter I need to find out.

The problem is that you cant stop him from wanking - its impossible! Have you tried talking to him whilst your giving him a handjob. The only reason I say that is because if its what he really wants he may let something slip as your doing it. Crazy I know but it may work???

Are you sure hes not wanking over something he thinks you wouldnt be into - some kind of fantasy he may have?

I use to do a bit of modelling and I was too into myself - feeling that I could get anyone I wanted - because of that I was always looking for someone different. Maybe because he has you he feels that he cant go wrong and wants something different?

he doesn't like to talk during sex and doesn't like to talk after sex. He is quiet and when I make noise during sex, he doesn't really respond, it's weird. I can't imagine him what the hell he is fantasizing about, a dead woman? He doesn't really care for lingerie because he says it's a waste of time don't bother buying it.

It does sound pretty strange. He HAS to be thinking about something when hes doing it to himself - you know as well as I do that you cant come from thinking about nothing! I can see why you think he may be gay but thats not exactly something you can ask him is it.

Sounds very odd - most men would love a partner who actually wants to have sex more than they do!