Don't mean to intrude.....but I'd like a man's POV please.....

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Was having a conversation with DP about film actors, and why Sean Bean always played a bad guy.

I said it was because (I think) he is not very attractive. DP said that he wouldnt know about that. I disagreed.

Now, he says he doesn't look at men and think about whether they are attractive looking/ugly etc.

I dont buy this (and actually said "dont worry, it doesnt make you gay or anything" which is probably not very tactful but i figured it had a bearing)

Surely hetero/gay men dont just look at women/men and decide if they have a nice face/physique or not?

Do they....?

DH says he'd say "nice threads" or "you're looking sharp" but he's from the 1950s.

LOL!

Come on menfolk.....

Partner is in bed but, as a digression, while I don't swoon at the sight of him, I think Sean Bean is far from unattractive.

I knew someone would be along to disagree with my thinking Sean Bean was not very attractive

As it happens, in his younger days as Lady Chatterleys Lover and early Sharpe I thought he was rather nice......

But on screen, next to Nic Cage.........no contest

I think one can generally see beauty in both sexes as both sexes, but that knack is much less developed in men. I would still stay it exists.

my dh says nicolas cage is good looking, he also knows how i wouldnt kick him out of bed. mmmm yummy!

dh does recognise it when an actor is good-looking - he'll say something along the lines of 'bet you like the look of him' or whatever.

i asked dh if he noticed when a man was good looking, he said "How would I know, I don't look at men" then he went off to find something manly to do!!!

Aha! Not just mine then MTPW!

I think Nicholas Cage is rather yummy too

From a blokes perspective it's kinda hard to see what makes a man attractive, sure the pretty ones are obvious i.e. Brad pitt etc. But what are ladies attracted too in the main? We struggle to see it. I mean I can understand how Steven Tyler and Val Kilmer get laid but if I lined every bloke in my office up I probably couldn't/wouldn't see 1 attractive feature yet none of them are virgins. In fact my old boss was an ugly bastard, a little plump, balding (nice guy though) and could drop a girls knickers from 30 yards!???? What made him attractive? Buggered if I know. As for Nick Cage, from this blokes point of view, nope can't see it, he's fugly.

he is soooooooooo not fugly! And that southern drawl.....

pmsl! I think I get what you mean DTTW, but surely if you can see someone as being ugly, then surely you can determine someone who is attractive?

Just asked DH (and good grief was it hard work!) and his basic answer (I think) is that whilst he automatically looks at the attractiveness of women, he doesn't with men unless something directs him to (does that make any sense?) So, if you ask him if X is attractive or not, he'll give an opinion but he wouldn't have thought about it before. I find this a bit weird as I can't see how you can look at someone and not have thought about it even a little bit.

No, I agree serenity. I find it odd that since men are supposed to (according to many studies) be more visual orientated than women, they dont take on board other mens looks as well as women.

Maybe it's a learnt thing. Men have 'learnt' that it's not so socially acceptable to check each other out the way women do, so they've stifled the natural relex to do so? In which case, with a more open society in regards to sexuality etc, maybe by the time my DSs are adults they would be more likely to feel comfortable acknowledging other mens attractiveness.

reflex

just asked dp, he has no trouble admitting he can tell whether another man is attractive or not, can even tell the differance between pretty boy good looks and rugged sexiness. he's never been bothered about being considered gay as he's confident in his sexuality so he's happy to discuss stuff like this with me

So, as i suspected, a confidence thing....

I think men will more readily 'check out' / evaluate feminine attractiveness as they (at least for heterosexuals) represent possible sexual partners in the game of procreation. Checking out other men is essentially irrelevant except perhaps for an assessment of the size of their weaponry to evaluate potential threats to one's ranking.

I concede the possibility that a more lowly-ranked male (if I may continue in my animal / evolutionary mode) might spend more time checking out other male competitive talent as, statistically, they are more likely to present viable threats. A high-ranking male generally would have little to fear as they are stronger / faster / smell nicer than most any other hunks IYSWIM.

Oh God, DH have had this one out time and time again!! He swears that he just does not register if a bloke is good looking or not. I just don't get it!

He did however once ( and only once) make a comment! After watching Troy he said " Well, I guess I know now why all the girls love Brad Pitt" That was as far as it went!

But whether a bloke is good looking or not is essentially COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO US.

Unless (a) there's a chance he'll steal our mate (b) eat us / kill us.

The only time it is of any import is perhaps whether he has a hot sister ?

Sean Bean played Richard Sharpe, a working class hero in Wellington's army. For many that is the role he's actually known for, and also I recall a filme with him as some sort of footballer, so I've seen him several times more a hero than a baddie.

Also women tell me he's good looking, (and not at all like me).

I don't evaluate how other men look, it does seem to be a female thing. I couldn't tell you what anyone I work with wears, (except for one bloke who wears Hawaian shgirts on a trading floor. I don't care. Not a gay thing, just of on interest.

Some time ago, a group of us included a gay bloke and we got onto the subject of "gaydar" and he said it was hard to tell, "except obviously for Dominic, as no bloke would take so little pride in his appearance...". Which is pretty true, though I was in my Hechter suit, Memix watch, Thomas Pink shirt etc and was more expensively dressed than anyone else at the table. Clothes just don't work on me...

Not even in a competitive way? I mean, if there was a really attractive woman in a bar (assuming you were single and available blah blah blah), and there were a few of you vying for her attention - would you not be measuring yourself up against the competition to see what your chances may be?

I wouldn't be paying attention to possible competition, I'd be smiling / flirting / chatting her up / sending a message / finding out if she's got a sister

(But I haven't done this for a rather long time, so am possibly rather rusty LOL)

My partner will quite often say 'oooh that blokes nice looking what do you think of him' but then he is very confident and secure in himself so that maybe why.

I check out women but mainly to see what clothes they are wearing and whether they would suit me