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Victims of crime

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Original poster

What to take to prison

999 replies

drinkswineoutofamug · 18/01/2017 21:38

Will be brief, daughter due to be sent down. Any one have a clue what to pack? Do we pack a bag? I've looked on line and it's a bit vague . Any help greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
ohtheholidays · 18/01/2017 22:36

Pretty much what everyone else has said.

I just wanted to check how your doing drinkswineoutofamug ?

I've had a close family member go into prison,not a DC but that was worrying enough so I can only imagine what you must be going through.

I hope you've got some good support around you Flowers

Snafflebrain · 18/01/2017 22:38

It may have changed since I had to do this but you can ring the prison and find out who they use locally for newspapers/magazines and then set up subscription direct with the newsagent so she has something to read.
I used to write letters in the backs of pictures/small posters so they would have something nice to look at in their cell. you can ring the prison on the first evening and ask for her prison ID number and once you have that you can send post in.

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 18/01/2017 22:39

I've had that convo verbena with her solicitor. They don't really listen. Their getting £xxx per hour legal aid for just showing up. I even printed off stuff for him. How drink and her meds effect behaviour and how her type of epilepsy also effects behaviours and personality. We have a meeting tomorrow for 'substance misuse' . Bloody legal highs , cheap beer and mdma don't mix with epilepsy .

OP posts:
Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 18/01/2017 22:43

I'm plodding along ohtheholidays this has been going on for 3 long years . I ended up having a breakdown due to struggling with social workers, police and such like. Plus usual crap life throws at you. I have some good friends and my dad. My oh is like a chocolate fireguard but hey ho!

OP posts:
Coatgate · 18/01/2017 22:43

How is the person she assaulted?

SavageBeauty73 · 18/01/2017 22:43

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My best male friend went to prison for a year at 22 and it was the making of him.

Verbena37 · 18/01/2017 22:46

Oh gosh, that's so tricky then drinks......what a nightmare solicitor!
It seems very common and I just read that the aggressive phase can last hours afterwards.
Crossing my fingers for you.

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 18/01/2017 22:48

coatgate this is where is really gets my goat. She is/was/is in a same sex relationship. Domestic violence against my daughter. She hit back. So has been done for common assault. But being a pillock she kicked the police officer.
She's assaulted a copper before and got a suspended for carrying a knife. That's another long story.
I'm not selling her am I ?

OP posts:
SoFedUpOfPeople · 18/01/2017 22:49

Does she smoke? (Can you smoke in prison? How do they deal with stopping)

CanISayOfHerFace · 18/01/2017 22:50

Hi drinks, I've just sent you a PM Flowers

WickedLazy · 18/01/2017 22:50

In a way, prison for 9 months (probably less), is nothing in the grand scheme of things. A tiny blip. IF she has to go. The mdma with her epilepsy is bad enough, but some of those legal highs are more dangerous than their illegal counterparts. Hopefully whatever happens, she won't be daft enough to take anything like that again.

Btw, did the police know she'd taken mdma that night? It can cause massive damage in the brain, too much fluid intake can be lethal, so when she was having a seizure (normal for her), how did they not know it wasn't more serious?

starsorwater · 18/01/2017 22:53

You sound a lovely mum.

Could be so many of us.

Flowers to you both.

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 18/01/2017 22:54

Unfortunately wicked she's on first name terms with some officers.

OP posts:
WickedLazy · 18/01/2017 22:55

If she smokes, and she can buy it through the prison, tobacco, skins and filters/roaches (a roach is when you're desperate and use a bit of rolled up cardboard as a filter) can go a lot further than cigs. I'd imagine you'd do a lot of stress/boredom smoking.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 18/01/2017 22:56

What a kind and helpful thread - MN can sort anything!

Thinking of you both drinks Flowers

Whosecoatisthatjacket · 18/01/2017 22:58

OP you sound like you've had such a tough time (so has your daughter) yet you're still there supporting her. Everyone needs a cheerleader and you're hers. Do you want to be my mum? (Please!) Best of luck to you both Flowers

UnbornMortificado · 18/01/2017 22:59

Drink this sentence might be the turning point for her.

I'm really sorry your going through this. 19 is still young, she had plenty time to turn her life around.

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 18/01/2017 23:01

She was telling me that she's going to get some education and do a training course if time allows while she's there. I tried to stress that she could of done this on the outside. I'm just worried for her future.

OP posts:
midsummabreak · 18/01/2017 23:03

Sorry to hear of your DD going in to prison, that is heartbreaking for you drinkswineoutofamug

She will need to keep her vision for her happier future time after she comes home, which must be very, very hard. :( Tell her you believe in her to get through and to be a better person. Tell her she can start again, seek help and do whatever it takes. Give her lots of hugs from me xxxxooo

midsummabreak · 18/01/2017 23:05

Maybe she needs help to set up a strict schedule for when she comes home to help her refocus on a brighter future. You've got her back xxoo

CauliflowerSqueeze · 18/01/2017 23:06

This sounds so tough. People forget about the families of perpetrators in all this.

Thinking of you. Flowers

OneWithTheForce · 18/01/2017 23:15

I don't know what services are available in prison but if possible I would urge her to get counselling/help to break her relationship habits. She was in a violent relationship, she needs help to recognise that it was a bad relationship, and to help her make different choices in future so she doesn't end up either back with that person or repeating the cycle with someone else. Prison would be a good chance to seek this help as she will be separated from her partner and have space to gain perspective without pressure to do what they want her to do. Also help regarding her drug taking and drinking would be good too if she can access it whilst in prison.

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 18/01/2017 23:23

A lot of it is me being selfish too. What will people think? Sounds so cliche . Me and her dad, far from perfect parents . Both have good jobs. I'm in the NHS , dad has his own business. I know it wasn't us that caused her to do what she did. But it's the behind closed doors judging. People will say that she must of had a bad up bringing etc. Maybe over thinking it. She made life choices that due to her age at the time I had no control over. It's just pisses me off that I'm the fool that has to pick up the pieces each time.

OP posts:
OneWithTheForce · 18/01/2017 23:29

People will say that she must of had a bad up bringing etc.

Does it actually matter what people think or say? Waste of energy worrying about it TBH. People think all sorts of things about you that you will never know about, it has zero impact on your life. This is the same. Those people judging (and there will be judgers) won't be rude enough to say it to your face and they won't be involved in your DD getting her life back on track. So their opinions? = irrelevant.

Rainbowqueeen · 18/01/2017 23:37

Flowers to you

She is very lucky to have you. Plenty of kids that go off the rails, others in family no issues and they have the same upbringing.