Would you read a novel that started off like this?

[DameIfYouDo]

The pain was excruciating but the humiliation was worse. My brother had told on me. I guess it took the heat off him if he could focus it on me.

I sat sobbing quietly at the table when Dad arrived home from work. I hadn't been allowed to move from the table since the beating. I knew better than to tell him why I was crying as she was hovering; listening - all powerful, totally in control. I guess he knew why I was crying.

I knew I wouldn't be allowed to sit on his knee that day, so I choked down my dinner. I don't recall what dinner was. It might have been nice.

The following day I woke up and was driven to school by my mother. Every stride up to the school gates was painful and a reminder that I was different.

I had been doing handstands the previous day with a short pleated skirt. In front of the boys. That was the mortal sin. I had done it in front of the boys. Showing off my knickers apparently. I was 8. I still remember what the items of clothing were but not what that dinner had been. I hid those clothes in my wardrobe and they were never worn again. In my innocence I thought they were at fault. They were now the reason for the beating; my clothes.

I'm never going to be a writer.

Dame - you are a writer - the evidence is above.

Being a writer is about writing. You don't have to be published in book form to be a writer. You can write for your own pleasure; you can write for friends/family; you can write for online communities. Keep going with the novel!

@DameIfYouDo you are a writer already. Whether you'll be a published,successful one is for the future.

Like I said,I suck at writing.. I still write because I enjoy it.

Don’t be so down on yourself!

I write for a living, but not for publication in the book or magazine market; and I write fiction for myself, as a pastime.

I enjoy it. And if I ever think I’ve tripped over a good idea and managed not to wreck it, I might send it to a publisher to consider. A few years I very nearly did. But I bottled it.

If you’re writing something you’re a writer!

Just keep writing, just do it

No. It's too miserable and depressing

It's the first time I've ever written. It's in my head, but I've never written it down. Probably because I have no confidence or experience. It's what I needed to hear by putting it on here. It's not up to scratch. That's cool. I needed to hear that.

Back to boxing lol. Suits me better.

it's not up to scratch

Of course not - it's only your first draft. Most writers would expect to go through at least two or three redrafts of their work. If published professionally, it would then go through even more revisions and edits.

Don't make the mistake of comparing your first draft to a novel you've pulled off the shelf - it's like comparing a bowl of cake mixture to a fully iced wedding cake with all the trimmings.

Dame, no one’s first attempt is ever ‘up to scratch’. I spent five years writing and rewriting my first novel, and the very beginning was pretty much the last thing to come right. A lot of what differentiates the people who complete a novel from the ones who start is pure perseverance.

You're all being very kind. I know it's shite haha. No worries.

I had a whiskey today. I would never ever display my writing ordinarily. It's all good.

If that was your first attempt at writing anything, then you did yourself proud! Your sentence structure is good, there was tension in the scene and it had the beginnings of a good story.

Also, what ScreamingValenta and Parthenope say is right - authors do up to a dozen drafts before their books are ready to publish. It's nigh on impossible to get it perfect first time.

Just need to spend 4 years of getting a degree in English maybe before I try any more lol.

It's cool. It was shit writing.

Bollocks to the idea that you need a degree to write. It's not true. You just need to be able to write. Which you can. It just needs finessing and that will happen with practice.

It's just a hobby really and I wanted to get the measure of where I'm at. You have provided that. Thank you.

No, just read. And keep writing.

There’s a lot of pleasure to be had in pursuing an urge to write, wherever it ends up.

No need to patronise me. I asked for criticism of the piece of writing in my OP. I didn't ask you to give me life advice.

Although feedback is invaluable and you've received good advice on this thread, it can be counter-productive to seek too much feedback early on, before your book has grown its own wings.

Criticisms can loom too large if you don't have several chapters under your belt, and because reactions are subjective, you can find yourself torn between conflicting opinions. Your confidence goes; then your idea wilts and dies before it's had a chance. (Been there!)

My advice would be to get stuck into writing for now and seek out more feedback when you have the solidity of several chapters in hand and a good idea of where the book is going.

Oh dear, sorry, I really didn’t mean to be patronising. I was just trying to say that you don’t need a degree.

Anyway, sorry. I obviously judged my comment wrong.

I think it's well written and creates quite a powerful atmosphere but at the same time that is what puts me off as I don't like a book about a sad childhood. I might read it if I felt the story would soon move on to a more hopeful time.

@DameIfYouDo you’re being a little bit arsey with posters who are trying to be kind.

If you keep posting how shit it is, you will get kind posters telling you it’s not. It’s not really cricket to accuse them of patronising you, is it?!

I would continue to read that. I didn't know it was the mother you were talking about, just a family member. I am reading Eleanor Oliphant right now so it is my kind of book so I would definitely give it a chance.

Keep going. Very brave of you OP to put it up here.

Thanks. I think it's misplaced as a first paragraph. It's hard to introduce this character and like her, without knowing her past though. She's not likeable. I think she needs to be in a drama in the first paragraph, given the advice from you on here.