Irish mn'ers, how much can you relate to UK mumsnetters?

[Anotherdayanotherdollar]

I read a lot of different threads on here, and recently I have come across so many issues/practices that I think just don't happen in Ireland. Now, I could be completely off the mark here, obviously there's local/cultural differences everywhere!

I don't know any parents who attend childrens birthday parties with their children (unless family etc),

I'm not aware of any dads who work "compressed hours" to care for their children. Although I know a lot of parents who work opposite shifts I suppose.

Funerals and the culture and practices surrounding death are all very different.

I don't have an abundance of parks/softplay/childrens activities nearby. If I did I'm sure they'd be too expensive to just pop in after school etc. 2 within 40 mins drive of me are €8-10 per hr.

Most children just go to their local school (baptism barrier dependent)

New mums here all seem to be inundated with visitors in hospital after their babies are born. I've never come across a new mum who isn't having visitors for the first week/fortnight etc so that they can bond.

Just a few examples there. So, are these typical observations of Irish people? Or just where I live/work? I know that local amenities are dependent on funding etc but it just seems that despite our close proximity to the UK there are big differences in day to day life.
I hope that all comes across ok. I'm just curious really.

One thing I notice is that families with 3 kids seem to be considered very large on MN. In the discussions about 3 kids/whether to go for #3 a lot of people cite 'hotels/holidays being set up for families of 4' as a major con. I can't get my head around that one - I think 3 kids is considered almost standard in some areas of Ireland- but maybe I'll understand it more in time as dc3 is still tiny!

Schooling also seems quite different with much more expected of Reception kids vs Junior Infants.

Irish people getting married, buying houses and having babies much later than in UK.

One thing I notice is that families with 3 kids seem to be considered very large on MN. In the discussions about 3 kids/whether to go for #3 a lot of people cite 'hotels/holidays being set up for families of 4' as a major con. I can't get my head around that one - I think 3 kids is considered almost standard in some areas of Ireland- but maybe I'll understand it more in time as dc3 is still tiny!

Schooling also seems quite different with much more expected of Reception kids vs Junior Infants.

Irish people getting married, buying houses and having babies much later than in UK.

One thing I notice is that families with 3 kids seem to be considered very large on MN. In the discussions about 3 kids/whether to go for #3 a lot of people cite 'hotels/holidays being set up for families of 4' as a major con. I can't get my head around that one - I think 3 kids is considered almost standard in some areas of Ireland- but maybe I'll understand it more in time as dc3 is still tiny!

Schooling also seems quite different with much more expected of Reception kids vs Junior Infants.

Irish people getting married, buying houses and having babies much later than in UK.

One thing I notice is that families with 3 kids seem to be considered very large on MN. In the discussions about 3 kids/whether to go for #3 a lot of people cite 'hotels/holidays being set up for families of 4' as a major con. I can't get my head around that one - I think 3 kids is considered almost standard in some areas of Ireland- but maybe I'll understand it more in time as dc3 is still tiny!

Schooling also seems quite different with much more expected of Reception kids vs Junior Infants.

Irish people getting married, buying houses and having babies much later than in UK.

Sorry

As someone from Irish roots who grew up in England and went back and the biggest cultural differences I've noticed apart from FUNERALS are.

Swearing. Swear words are just words and no one cares much of their under 10s copy.

Mad behaviour on roads in general, not just drunk driving, but driving without tax/MOT/licence/seatbelts. Triple parking outside shops.

No one giving a shite about age restrictions on either films or computer games and would look at you as if you'd gone mad if you reacted as per the standard MN poster YOU LET YOUR 8 YEAR OLD WATCH A TWELVE etc

The Angelus. How is that still a thing?

Dustin The Turkey for President

Drunk driving? Nowadays?? Nobody in either my area or my family's area (mix of urban and rural) would do it. All those years of Garda checkpoints in sneaky places have done their job.

And they use seatbelts, car seats for the kids, etc.

Everyone I know pays attention to film and game ratings. You might let wouldn't let

Posted too soon.

You might let a 8 year old watch a 12 film - it depends what it is (and what common sense media says). You definitely wouldn't let them watch a random 15s or 18s though - that'd be massively irresponsible parenting and there'd be war if the older cousins let the little cousins watch stuff that was too old for them!

Yes to the love of animals in the UK.

Growing up on an Irish farm where death and lack of sentiment was normal quickly realised that laughing at English colleague telling me about her hamster needing to be euthanised was the wrong response! She cried for days. Had to give hugs and placate her

Oh and English people having per rats. Eeeeewh.

PET

I think with the Healy-Rae's acting as if drunk driving is a completely normal thing for a respectable member of society to do, it will make it look like more people do it.

In reality, it has a real stigma to it- I don't know one person that thinks it's in any way acceptable.

My childhood was in the Eighties though, genuine madness on roads I do know that things have changed since.

It also means you have to tell everyone IMMEDIATELY that the person has died, you have to literally get their old battered address book and ring half the numbers in it that day and break the news. That's very very hard.
Gosh I hadn't even considered that. It does make me think of this though

Yeah but we're used to it. You forget that we've been to all these people's family's funerals too. So there's a lot of conditioning.
I guess. I've always enjoyed the funerals I've been to - the services are short and sweet with happy memories - and the bit with the sandwiches is always nice. But then I've only ever been a distant relative (all the prestige of the front seats and none of the actual grief ). I can't imagine all the funerals in the world would prepare me for my mum dying, though. It must be a lot harder when you are the bereaved,

A stranger will just walk up and start chatting as if they have known you for years.
Americans do this too. I'm an introvert. It makes me cry. They say that New York is an unfriendly city - it's not - it's a normal city. It is the rest of the U.S that is weird.

I’ve lived about half my life in England and the other half in Ireland and the differences I have noticed are:

Time keeping - in Ireland if you had a tradesman coming to you at 8am then you would be wondering where he is at 8.30am. In the UK if he was coming to you st 8am then he will be there at 8am. Lateness is frowned upon in the UK.

Attitudes to the law- when I read threads on MN people are very quick to say you should call the police and he should be cautioned for xyz. In Ireland if it was a young person people would ignore a lot of “antisocial” behavior and dismiss it as high junks. People would say “ah but sure what if he wants a visa for the States”. Ireland is less black and white in things and there is a lot of grey. The whistleblower scandal exposed much of this greyness.

Social niceties - Irish can perceive English as snobby or posh because they don’t do chit chat and the over friendliness. An English person may take their leave from a stranger by saying “thank you. Goodbye”. In Ireland it’s “thanks a mill, you’re very good. Thanks for that. Bye now. Bye. All the best”.

It also means you have to tell everyone IMMEDIATELY that the person has died, you have to literally get their old battered address book and ring half the numbers in it that day and break the news

Surely they'll be facebook friends with rip.ie??

Seriously though, there's usually a cascade of information. The bereaved family would often only have to contact a few "key" people personally and the word gets out from there.

Drink driving is very much frowned upon by most people despite the Healy Rae's trying to justify it. Those that do drink drive tend to be older people.

I don't know anyone who doesn't put on their seatbelt and 99% of children that need to be in a car seat are in them.

In Ireland a pillar of the community is now seen as someone to be very very suspicious about and a lot of people would see it as an insult to be called that. Same goes for the creeping jesus brigade.

Let's be honest, the Healy Raes are frowned on by a lot of the country. They're seen as a national joke, pair of gombeen politicians.

The Healy Raes are cute hoors but know how to play the gombeens.

I’m guessing that this isn’t a totally Irish thing, and may just be a few women I know, but I was surprised that some women in Ireland go to the hairdresser for a blow dry before attending a funeral. That just wouldn’t occur to me.

It seems like Irish school days are really short - I’ve been puzzled to see children out at 1.30. And as far as I can tell the school holidays are longer too. I don’t think children in the UK come out any better educated, so why do we need longer days and terms?

I also get the impression that ‘who you know’ matters more in Ireland for things like jobs. But maybe I just don’t know anyone influential in the UK and my life would be different if I did.

I also find the geographical surname thing quite impressive. Some of my Irish family seem to be able to work out where people are from, I tend to be cynical about it, but the do get it right.

Yes to Irish time keeping

Also attitudes to the body - Irish couples holding hands and having a quick kiss/hug in public outside Dublin is a complete no no
Also breastfeeding isn’t really done at all in Ireland- probably this is related to the visitors after birth as why they aren’t welcome in uk is usually because the Mum is sat with her boob out constantly trying to bf

Also suicide - Ireland has one of the worst suicide rates in Europe.
Male mental health especially could do with a bit of a healthcare boost

And god - the lack of postcodes! I don’t know how the post men do their job in Ireland

I agree about the whole 'cultural template' for funerals. Everybody, friends, neighbours, swings into action 'I'll ring the priest, Billy will ring the hotel, Margaret will call the newspaper, Fr Finbarr will ring the organist' and NOBODY is shy about saying 'so tell us, how did it happen?'

Another big difference I read on posts is that 16yo children are given adult status in the UK, entitled to move out or be asked to leave home. This is utterly foreign to me.

Applesand we have had postcodes in Ireland for a few years now. Plenty women do breastfeed in Ireland too and couples hold hands outside of the big smoke Dublin!