Should I become a stripper?

[sheapards]

Hey Everyone I’m 26, I have a 2 year old son, my parents sadly aren’t involved (my baby’s father is also a lost cause, he has his son twice a month overnight), I’ve been toying with the idea for about a year to become a stripper as I have a family member who also is - ultimately I feel like I’m going to massively regret it if I don’t, I’d like to be smart save as much of the money as I can while’s at uni… mostly I’d like the money to be able to have a nice car & go on holidays (the usual really) I feel like my sons at a good age it can’t come back to haunt him much, my only issue is the limited child care I have a couple of friends that may sacrifice the odd Saturday night.

Well what are strippers for then if it's not for men to ogle them? Lol. There's just two very very contrasting views on here, one - Strip clubs and men going to them are disrespectful to women, anti feminist, sleazy etc, and two -;stripping is empowering for women etc etc. I can't get my head around the two opposing views but it's late and I'm tired 🤣 so I'm not going to make any sort of good argument either way!! I'm not really being serious either way, it's just interesting to think about especially because you do see a lot of threads here from women upset about their partners going to these places so do you think their views are valid or not?

Online has a much higher risk of being found out and potentially future embarrassment to her son. Once the image is online its there forever, and especially with facial recognition technology developing it could easily be found down the line as AI becomes bigger.

Money is much harder to earn online IME.

I did it before the days of OF, using similar sites however-you have to be online a LOT to get to the top where you'll even feature, you'll make next to nothing for weeks/months untill you're prolific enough to be featuring on searches unless you're in a tight niche and coming up in searches for said niche.
I did okay-and it was great to sit on my sofa drinking a G&T making money, but it took time and some nights were so slow there wasn't really any point.

The most money is also made very late/early hours of the morning-of course same stripping, but less money and the sites take a larger cut, and you have to wait until you've earned a certain amount to cash out-okay for some, and I was lucky to not need instant money but compared to a wad of immediate cash, is something to consider. Also as a PP said, although screenshots etc are not permitted, if someone sees your face and takes a photo, It's out there (photos banned in clubs unless consent is given).

Again, I wasn't really bothered but it sounds as if OP will be-and I was 'outed' online in a sense that someone I knew from a festival I attend came into my room and if someone is browsing the site they can see you and report you to your work or whatever-tangible proof whereas in a club even if that happened, you could just say 'Nope, wasn't me!' and that's it.

As I responded previously, I wasn't a stripper for the purpose of being perved on. I did actually answer some questions which detail this more in the AMA I did. I realise (genuinely) that it might be surprising but a lot of men just attend for a bit of a different night out and to chat to stereotypically attractive women that they otherwise wouldn't be able or confident enough to do. A lot are depressed and seeking female company too (one of my regulars credited me with saving his life, he had a detailed plan and I am so glad of this as he had a wife and daughter).

Of course there were some pervs, and I agree that strippers are there for men to look at, but that isn't why many women do it and it was an interesting and fun experience for me for the majority of the time.

Also obviously pervy men are everywhere-I do see a merit in the upfront aspect about it in clubs!
Yes, 'perved on' is an aspect, but the situation is much more complex than that.

I am in the midst of writing a thesis about it actually-I am time-limited but I hope to have penned it fully by the end of this year.

Yes, of course their views are valid.

If someone's made their vows to me and goes to a strip club, personally I'd say it's about intent-an emotional affair with a regularly seen stripper, I'd not like-a one off night out with friends wouldn't bother me-but people differ. For some It's a deal breaker but some women just aren't bothered-and those won't be the ones posting here.

I agree that if OP is considering this she'd be better doing it in a club rather than online. Too much chance of being spotted and outed online, I think I'd be constantly worried about that. If she makes good money she'd be able to sort out childcare hopefully.

Can you link your AMA please? Sorry if you've already done that on the thread. Good luck with your thesis, it'll be a very interesting read I'm sure.

Thank you-I have hundreds of hours of dictaphone material and notes scribbled down and I am not the most organised of people-so it isn't an easy process-also I am so critical that I keep re-writing it! But then I am penning from 2012-2020 ish. It's a long process. I am a Sociologist and it is fairly normal for a longitudinal study to take a long time to write up but I am determined to have it finished while it remains relevant.

I linked it earlier but here you go.

Feel free if any more questions, It's old but I'm not bothered https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/AMA/4483465-Ex-stripper-webcam-worker-also-been-a-honey-trap

🤣🤣

Thank you for the link 👍 I'll have a good read of it when I've got some leisure time and get back to you if I have any more questions.
Yes I'm sure it will take quite some time to complete your thesis. How long have you been working on it so far? I think it will always be an interesting subject even though there are so many changes now with things moving much more online.

I just read your AMA and found it really interesting, thanks for sharing the link.

I wondered if the client you mention who said you saved his life tells his wife that he still regularly meets you for dinner etc and if she knows how you met? I wonder if because you are both too close to the situation to be objective about how it would make her feel and you don’t realise that if she doesn’t know how you met and / or that you still meet up, your dynamic is actually putting his marriage at risk if she does find out?

I haven't probed a lot into it. I have asked a couple of questions but I don't feel it would be appropriate for me to tell him he must tell his wife things. I'm a lesbian with no interest in him whatsoever in a sexual/romantic way.

Me and him go to the same events fairly often too (him with other friends me with others, we don't arrive or leave together)-this is just coincidental-we like similar music.

He goes out a lot with different friends/groups of friends and I've met up with him and his friends as a group, as well as with him on a one to one basis.

He's not in the best of health currently so I haven't seen him for a much longer length of time than is normal, although he has telephoned me and I msg asking how he is.

He may have told her everything, may have told her some of it, may've told her nothing.

Because of the depression he was suffering however, I doubt it would have a great effect on him and therefore her and their family, if I had have ever discontinued our friendship or our meetups.

Unless you find rock-solid reliable, affordable night-time childcare, a job isn’t going to work whether it’s shelf-stacking in a fleece, or twerking in your knickers.

You can see from his wife’s point of view that if she found out he had developed a deep emotional connection to a stripper (to the point he told her she saved his life) and continued seeing her regularly, without her knowledge, how damaging to her mental health that could be?

And if my husband did all that then told me it wasn’t anything to worry about because she was a lesbian anyway, I would assume he was lying about that as he had been so deceitful about the rest of it.

I do think that as his friend, and someone you say saved his life and is still a very emotionally invested part of his life, you owe it to him to encourage him to think about his wife when making plans with you.

I’ve had depression seriously a number of times and I know first hand that it can make you very selfish and I think while enjoying being rescued (for want of a better term) by you at a low point, he is being very selfish to his wife and not thinking about her mental health. You don’t have to do so, obviously. But what a mess if she does find out all of this and where will his mental health be then?

Just my two cents!

No need for apologies! Yes, it could be.

But looking at how the customer-dancer relationship developed as it did, I am happy with my conduct throughout the situation. Had I done things differently, I do not see the outcome being any better, and it most definitely could have been much worse.