Should I become a stripper?

[sheapards]

Hey Everyone I’m 26, I have a 2 year old son, my parents sadly aren’t involved (my baby’s father is also a lost cause, he has his son twice a month overnight), I’ve been toying with the idea for about a year to become a stripper as I have a family member who also is - ultimately I feel like I’m going to massively regret it if I don’t, I’d like to be smart save as much of the money as I can while’s at uni… mostly I’d like the money to be able to have a nice car & go on holidays (the usual really) I feel like my sons at a good age it can’t come back to haunt him much, my only issue is the limited child care I have a couple of friends that may sacrifice the odd Saturday night.

my only issue is the limited child care I have a couple of friends that may sacrifice the odd Saturday night.

I think that you're only issue is quite a fundamental one, you can't leave a 2y o at home to go stripping. Treat yourself to a bus pass instead.

She'd need a babysitter for any job though, presumably. Unless she was self employed cleaning or something and taking her child with her (I'm sure there are others but not many).

OP said she wanted the money for a fancy car, new outfits for every evening out, fancy holidays etc though. She didn't say anything about earning money to put aside for her son or building a more secure future

Nurseries operate during the day, OP referenced the odd Saturday night. Not sure what the childcare solution is for that, but maybe there is one that doesn't cost more than you'd earn on a stripping shift, not sure it's all worth it for a fancy car and a holiday though?

100%

Anyone would be embarrassed by that ffs.

You think a child is going to think “oh I’m so proud of mum for going out and rubbing her crotch over some disgusting man”. She’s not proposing to do it because she’s on the breadline. She’s doing it so she can have nice holidays and a nice car.

There are quite of lot of options for an extroverted, attractive young woman. Very few of them require getting your kit off in front of lecherous misogynists. I made a small fortune doing bar work and front of house.

As a student, you presumably have the brains to remember basic stuff, are literate and able to judge whether a total, money tendered and change look correct (it was all mental arithmetic for this old codger, but you still need enough skill to know if you're being ripped off).

I made as much as the strippers I knew, quite a bit more in some jobs. Meeting people with your clothes on leads to offers of other work, some of which I took up.

You'll still need childcare for that, mind. A few friends of mine deployed their looks, smarts & personalities in high-end retail - which sounds like it'd suit you, but I don't know whether it's possible to do that in a way that would fit round studying. There's probably a fair old list of interesting alternatives that I don't know about, too.

True..
I used to babysit as a teen for a couple of alcopops and £20- but I don't know if that's much a thing now 🤣

I most definitely did not make anywhere near as much £ with bar work as I did stripping (I've done both, in fact the former led me to the latter!) Nor did I get free champagne and gifts with bar work either.

I think your bar job must've been unusual.

Of course there are advantages (guaranteed wage, set hours, not having to wear high heels etc) but overall.. I much preferred to be self employed too.

Strangely, I was sexually assaulted (a man grabbed my vulva from behind) while working behind a bar too, I know people note that that's a danger for strippers. It is, but not just strippers.

@Stripperyone, it's not the wages: it's the tips! You wouldn't make as much in a high street pub or bar - I actually did okay out of those, too, but it's because I was living in. After learning about wines, I got commission as well.

If your working environment involves tips, commission and/or bonuses, it's up to you to maximise your pay whether you're fully dressed or not. (I went on to work in advertising/media, so continued to earn commissions & bonuses.)

Young women get sexually assaulted everywhere, infuriatingly.

Oh I definitely got tips as well (a lot, as I was flirty and rather attractive in my young years and the bars I worked in, one in particular were mostly middle-aged men clientele) but it was nowhere near what I'd come home with most of the time from the clubs.

Yes. Not just young women either

How many drinks you had OP?

Have you done both these jobs? Because I have, and I would always opt for the stripping.

As a PP said, if it bothers a partner that says an awful lot about him and his views on women. And who gives a shit if the school gate mums don't like you? 🙄 (not that it's at all true that you'd get shunned anyway).

😂
Good point!

I've never done cleaning. I would be absolutely crap at it, and thesmell of chemicals and the like would really irritate me.

No I've never been a stripper. Yes I am a cleaner. And I work hard to help provide for my family in a way that doesn't mean degrading myself.
I know my husband wouldn't have been interested in marrying a stripper. And I definitely know that it would be huge gossip at the school gates if I was found out to be a stripper and would limit future employment
I come home having feeling happy with a clean conscience having been surrounded by nice people. I hav emy evenings at home with my family not out stripping.
There is no other purpose of stripping then for men to come and perve over you. I personally find that degrading. Especially if you are a mother to a young child.

No purpose other than for men to perv?

I'm a lesbian. Wasn't interested in that 'purpose' at all.

I also have an M.A and work as a MH professional.

I decide what degrades me, not others.
I respect this opinion, but in a lot of women's cases it simply is not valid. For some it is a valuable source of enjoyment, income and socialisation. Me included. I don't regret my time doing it at all.

And nobody ever found out. School gate mums are unlikely to, do you know what every one of them did last Saturday night? Were you there?

I wasn't ever 'outed' in twenty years.

Nope, I don't regret it at all, either. I used to work in pubs, which I actually preferred greatly to working in clubs, and it provided me with all the elements which I realise are crucial to enjoyment of a job to me: travel (all over London), variety and independence. In addition I got to meet an amazing bunch of women, everyone from a F1 mechanic to a white witch. And of course loads of students, of which I was one, because stripping allows you to earn quite a lot of money per hour, freeing up enough time for your studies (that was my BA, I subsequently got my MA too).

I really don't see how assuming the traditionally gendered role of cleaner, reinforcing social assumptions that women are just there to clean, is any better than assuming the traditionally gendered role of stripper, reinforcing social assumptions that women are just there to be sexy* As a middle aged woman now, I'm not feeling the pressure of sexual objectification much, but fuck me am I feeling the pressure to be responsible for all the domestic drudge work. So thanks Racheybabez for helping to maintain that oppressive and anti feminist stereotype.

*I knew many strippers who in their spare time were involved in the alternative burlesque scene, which actively sought to undermine traditional gender stereotypes.

(bolding fail there, wtf 🤦‍♀️)

😂😂 All the ex strippers coming out to defend their life decisions of being a stripper. You are entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to mine.
It's not for me amd we have very different way of life.
I love being a cleaner and my husband is too and we have our own business together and earn a good amount to provide for our children without me having to take my clothes off for men (or lesbians).
The post was a lady, a young mum, asking for opinions on whether she should become a stripper or not. I gave my opinion and stand by it. Whatever she chooses to do is obviously up to her though

I still dip my toe in now and again.

I respect your opinion, what I do not respect is you saying I degraded myself. I didn't. Nor do I respect you saying there's no purpose other than being perved on, because it simply isn't true.

I'd never say being a cleaner is degrading, I respect any job that works for you (unless you were being pimped, enslaved or forced etc of course).

No judgement from me but I would worry about the money side .. are there even that many clubs left ? In live in a major city and the only one I know closed years ago. I also understand wants to be a normal 20 odd year old able to spend on holidays and clothes etc and feeling like the good life that all your friends have is passing you by. Unfortunately you have a child so unless you find a way to earn v well it’s always going to be harder to have these things as a single mother with little support. I’d probably look at online .. less childcare and if you manage to garner a name could make more money as there will be costs involved with working in a club

Okay, I can't personally see any other purpose for a stripper than to provide enjoyment to men that want to look at women stripping. I honestly can't think of any other purpose. There are plenty of other places that the majority of people go to socialise. There doesn't need to be woman taking their clothes off.
Why would anyone go to a strip club other than that purpose?
But we can agree to disagree and I respect your opinion too and I'm glad you don't feel degraded.

There are posts on here all the time from women upset their partners have been to strip clubs and everyone says he's a pervy pig, but now being a stripper is fine and the purpose isn't for men to perve on them 🙄 I'm confused 🤔

I dunno, it's almost as if MN is a site with thousands upon thousands of posters and we don't all have unanimous opinions isn't it? 🤔

I wasn't a stripper for the purpose of being 'perved on'.