Pregnant with second child living in 2 bed house

[Flower2025]

I feel really bad moaning about this but needed to reach out and ask for some advice because I’m feeling really low. My DD is 6 she will turn 7 a month after the baby is born who is going to be a boy! I’m really worried about the bedroom set up I feel like a total failure that we don’t have a bedroom each for them being different genders! Hopefully in 3 years we will have enough money saved to move somewhere bigger but today all o have done is cry and feel sad about it I know people have worse problems than me and I do feel selfish but I just can’t seem to shake off this feeling! My partner works so hard we both work life seems so hard at the moment to get any further forward

There's no issues with mixed sexes but I don't think it's fair to put a 1/2/3 yo in with a 8/9/10yo. You need to share with the new baby till you move

Slightly different, but I'm pregnant with number 2 and in a 2 bed terrace with an almost 4yo and a dog AND 2 cats.

We can't afford a bigger house and will likely be there at least another 4 years best case.

You're not a failure, it's just one chapter in your lives. Things are always harder when the kids are young.

Sending positive vibes to you x

Only on MN does everyone need their own room. You have many years before you have to worry about this.

I think the age gap is more of an issue than the fact that they are the opposite sex.

My DD is nearly 2 and we've only just put her in with her brother. She's been sharing with us the whole time up until now. But her brother is only 3 and a half and he thinks it's great fun.

I'd say keep him in with you for as long as possible and try and work out a plan to move to a bigger place within the next few years. This isn't an immediate problem but at some point it will be.

Wtf

Is that statistically true?

I am really shocked by this comment

This is what I thought

Oh gosh, it's not that it will inevitably happen! It's that there's a risk which is why you keep them apart over a certain age. There are sadly cases of brother/sister SA but you wouldn't know who's going to do it and who isn't, so you just take precautions. NSPCC used to recommend that boys/girls didn't share over age 8 but they've watered that down to "all children over 10" in their latest guidance which isn't as clear about the risk.

Don’t feel a failure for providing a loving home for your family. I sure you will involve her in choosing bedding and stuff for the baby. Could you redecorate the bedroom an let her choose. I really do not believe she will need her own room for a couple of years. I would try and get her excited about the sharing. Don’t let her hear ant negative words on the subject.

1st world problems like I’ve never read em before.

by the way, both my sis and bro in
law are on 6 figure salaries and only JUST had their home remodeled to include a third before for their kids, ages 11 and 12, girl and boy.

Those people are creeps. What do they expect will happen? 😐😳

We were in a 2 bed with 3dc for a few years. We ended up giving dd our bedroom and got a good sofa bed as don't really believe she should suffer due to our want for a another child tbh.

Not popular but I stand by it

It is difficult but it's a very normal situation. Put baby's cot in your room until they're 2 - this buys you plenty of time. In any case they'll probably prefer it.

If it makes you feel any better, I was brought up in a 3 bed house but for some reason my mum put me and my brother in the same bedroom for a few years until we were older. I definitely remember still sharing a bedroom when I started school.
I guess I was in with my mum for the first few months or so.
The 3rd bedroom was just always a spare room. Never thought to question it.
It hasn't scarred me for life 🤣 I actually quite enjoyed it.
Don't worry, it will be fine ☺️

Legally brothers and sisters are allowed to share a bedroom until they are 10 years old, so you have a long time before you have to worry about that. And may I please make the point that they are not different genders, they are different sexes.

Legally they can share forever.

Is extending an option? Either up into the loft or into the garden?
Sounds like your home is a decent size and extending could add value and be cheaper than moving

I worried about this when having baby number 3. 3 bed house 2 older children girl and boy who were 8 and 7 at the time had their own rooms. When baby got to 2 I had to put the older 2 together as the toddler still wasn’t the best at sleeping!! They are still in together now… no it’s not the best situation but we are planning on doing a downstairs extension for another bedroom in the next few months so they will all have their own bedroom. They’re siblings at the end of the day and they get a lot of time away from each other.

There's no laws thats recommendations. MN is weird about this it's very normal to share irl I have 4 kids in a 3 bed. You could always give up your room and get a sofa bed

It's only council renting that over a certain age boys and girls can't share

Anyone who private rents or mortgage - if has 2 kids and 2 beds the kids share

Friends I went to school with shared till one of them moved out

Friends of dd 7 - share a bedroom and 7yr b and 10yr g and will do for years as mortgage

What is wrong with the utility room - does it have a window

What size is it - why can't baby /toddler be put in there with cot and wardrobe