Pregnant with second child living in 2 bed house

[Flower2025]

I feel really bad moaning about this but needed to reach out and ask for some advice because I’m feeling really low. My DD is 6 she will turn 7 a month after the baby is born who is going to be a boy! I’m really worried about the bedroom set up I feel like a total failure that we don’t have a bedroom each for them being different genders! Hopefully in 3 years we will have enough money saved to move somewhere bigger but today all o have done is cry and feel sad about it I know people have worse problems than me and I do feel selfish but I just can’t seem to shake off this feeling! My partner works so hard we both work life seems so hard at the moment to get any further forward

The baby can sleep in your room to begin with. He won't know that he hasn't got his own room. Yes, I know he'll probably keep you awake, but you can't put him in your dd's room as that would keep her awake which would be worse! It looks like you've got the baby blues already, before he's even born!

I was in a similar situation when my second was born. He was a boy, first was a girl. They shared a b3droom for 3 years, until we sold the 2 bed flat and bought a 3 bed house. Then we had a "suprise" and the 2 boys shared until we put a 4th bedroom in the loft. Mine had loads of fun sharing

My girl and boy shared a room for years. It was fine x

The baby will be in your room for year so it’s only a couple of years someone has to share. It’s fine.

I wouldn’t worry too much. Lots of siblings have to share a room. I shared with sister. DH also shared with his sister, and they’re obviously different genders too. None of us are emotionally scarred by the experience. It was just normal.

Thanks everyone, I have been reading threads about boys and girls sharing and some people saying it’s so terribly wrong etc just making me worry

I had 3 in a 2 bed, it was fine. When you finally move the baby out of your room take your daughter and let her choose a new duvet cover and poster for her wall. The situation will become normal.

Those people saying it's wrong are either batshit if they're talking about any boys/girls sharing at any age, or are concerned about an older boy sharing with a younger girl. Very bluntly, the issue with a male over a certain age sharing with a female is the possibility of sexual abuse (worst case) and no safe space for the girl away from males (best case). With a 6 year old girl and a newborn/toddler boy this isn't a consideration you need to think about, and it sounds like you've got a plan for before it would become an issue.

I don't know where you are in the country or how mobile you are, but we moved areas and were able to get a 3 bed here for the price of a 2 bed in our old area, so DS and DD no longer have to share. Would that be an option for you to get more space at all?

No we wouldn’t be able to move out of the area really due to work commitments school etc I’m just hoping the plan of saving etc goes to plan the way house prices are mortgages etc it makes me feel so worried I’m just trying to stay hopeful about it and positive but today I just seemed to have had a meltdown finding things to worry about

This.

Theres absolutely nothing wrong with siblings sharing a room even if they are opposite genders, it’s only a problem when they hit puberty and even then it wouldn’t be the biggest deal once your children have a private space to dress etc.

Some children even prefer sharing a room and won’t sleep on their own.

This isn't an immediate problem but I understand wanting to feel settled about it. Could you divide the biggest bedroom in your house into two smaller bedrooms by adding a divider? Would it be an option in the future for you and your partner to have a downstairs bedroom and give the children their own room each?

If this is something that is really upsetting you you could consider in the future getting a really good sofa bed and you and your partner sleep downstairs and the children have a room each.

What's the layout of your home?

So we have a 2 bed bungalow, we are lucky to have a big lounge and kitchen diner area and both bedrooms are not too badly sized ours is the biggest which we thought the kids could move into once the baby was old enough. We also have a utility room which is bigger than a box bedroom so sq footage we actually have a home bigger than a small 3 bed but don’t want to use utility as a bedroom

The point at which this will be a problem is so far off I wouldn’t consider it a problem at all. Baby will be in with you for the first 6 months by default. A year isn’t uncommon for a lot of people regardless of number of bedrooms because traipsing down the hall to resettle and do night feeds is a PITA. Then you’ve really got until DD puberty before she might be uncomfortable sharing with her brother but because it’s an older girl younger boy it really isn’t the issue it would be if it were the other way around. And by then you might be able to fund a move or do building work to the house- extension, loft conversion, splitting the master bedroom IDK if they would be options but they’d usually be cheaper than moving.

I would consider a divider for the larger bedroom once the kids are older

Its really not an issue, baby might stay in with you until they won't disturb the elder child in the night but thats nothing dramatic. Any worries about 2 children of opposite sex sharing is miles down the road. FYI my brother and I shared a room until I left home at 19. Only difference might be is we dressed in the bathroom and sometimes one of us was turfed to the family space when friends were over. No big deal.

They won’t be sharing for a while but when they do, there’s loads of ways of splitting up a room now so each child has their own space. I know when I was growing up it was basically shove a curtain in the middle if the kids were opposite sex but there’s some really good set ups now. Have a lot at IKEA hacks group on Facebook. I don’t think it was an IKEA hack but I saw someone divided a room using bunk beds and panelling a bit like this.

Your posts are saying that you have potential eg utility room but you don't want to. You made the decision to have another child when some people decide they cannot afford another one. You are making the choices here.

My younger two (boy and girl) shared until they were 9 and 10. They still occasionally share if we are in a hotel room and they're 16 and 17. They are really close, it's actually lovely to see.
It's a modern thing to want every kid to have a room to themselves. Mine do now, but only because their older brothers moved out. I'd say happy, safe, warm, well fed kids is much better than stretching for that 3rd bed and not being financially stable.
The only thing that would concern me is the age difference, but I'm sure you will come up with a solution when your daughter starts finding her toddler brother annoying rather than cute.

I have similar problems the minute i found out baby number 2 was a girl and i had a boy. Some days it would really stress me out and id spend hours researching room sharer ideas/ ways to extend the house etc... They are now 2 and 6 and its working out well, both have a side of the bedroom each decorated how they want, my dd has only just properly gone in there anyway and i put one to sleep before the other and the first week they did disturb each other a little but they now do great.
I still get waves of feeling bad but once my ds shows signs of puberty/ wanting his own space theres plenty of options including having a good sofa bed in the living room for me and dp so the kids can have their own.
Youl make it work somehow, and like another poster said it seems a recent thing where every kid has their own room, when i grew up most kids shared

Years ago, many siblings,, whatever the gender, shared a bedroom. It’s not really an issue until they’re older.

Why can't mixed gender babies share rooms? Is there a rule that they can't or something? I wouldn't have even questioned this when my kids were little

This isn’t an issue. They can share for years. Can you divide a bedroom?

There are some great ideas on Pinterest for dividing rooms creatively.

Congratulations! I’m very happy with my two girls but had a secret small preference for one of each ♥️

It doesn’t have to be expensive.

cutesycrafts.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/divide-room-01.jpg.webp

DD and DS shared a room for years, at first through necessity, but then through choice. DD moved into her own room when she was 9, but they still had "siblings sleepovers" at least once a week for years, and they still occasionally share if we have guests or on Christmas Eve.