21, on apprenticeship. Mum wants half my wage each week.

[Helloworld469]

So im a 21 years old female, i get apprenticeship wage (dog grooming) 5 days a week which is not much. I clean up in the house, i wash everyones clothes, i cook for everyone when mum says she wont which is often. I HAVE to make everyones breakfast before work ( have to be in work for 8:50am.) I come home to cook my brothers teas and feed the pets take them out and do most things. My mum says i do not do nothing. I dont help with cost for food or anything even tho my half i do mostly spend on my brothers and not me. I give my mum 100 each week and i get 100. My mum says i should be paying her more so i should only get round 50 pound towards myself. Is this right or should i pay her more? I dont go out either and i dont socialise so im asking for advice.

There must still be tutors, student support services. Do you have a student Union card? I think you can get legal advice there.And you can always call the CAB https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/contact-us/contact-us/contact-us/
www.susu.org/help-support/the-advice-centre/

Your mum is lazy and greedy.

Sometimes it has to be that way. Eg. Single parent working full time but barely earns enough, renting a 3bedroom house to accommodate all DC. Eldest ages out of CB and UC child element, UC housing element drops to the LHA of a 2bed because parent is no longer legally responsible for eldest DC. Leaving the parent in a situation where the eldest must cover the shortfall at a minimum (as an adult they should be chipping in for bills and food too) or else move out so the parent can rent a 2bedroom flat enabling them to manage on the reduced income.

Half a week is too much.
Is your mum ill or have an addiction? Does she work?
Sounds like words from an alcoholic?

By letting a working adult live in her house for £400 a month? That’s not financial abuse 🤦‍♀️. She has more spare money than I do each month.

When I was her age I worked 3 jobs and paid for my own house. She’s choosing to have a low salary.

The issue is your mother seems to be neglecting your brothers and pushing responsibility for them onto you, which isn’t fair and if she has a social worker they should be doing something about that .

If the mum has a social worker that person is there to see to the best interests of the mum not to get involved in her parenting, however awful that may be.

If the social worker is the OPs social worker then OP needs to bring it to their attention that she's being treated as an unpaid skivvy/nanny and wants help to move out into her own place even if that's a shared place.

If the social worker is for one of the other DC, and that DCs needs are being sorted out by the OP, then that's problem solved as far as the social worker is concerned.

Duplicate post

I'm used to uni's but colleges should have similar support. You will have a student services area that help students. Usually they have counsellors and others you can speak with. They'd be your best point of call to talk about this and what you you might be entitled to if you moved out. They do it all the time, so will have a lot of knowledge.

You might also have an equity department. They work with students from low income backgrounds (amongst others) and can also give support.

OP get yourself in a house share or as a lodger.

You can get a room you can afford and only have to buy and cook your own food. As well as only having to clean after yourself.

You may also be entitled to benefits.

If you're not happy ... leave.

You CAN do it!

You'll be surprised at some of the rooms on SpareRoom.com.

Good luck OP you've had some great suggestions here.

Good for you but another adult in the house means a single mum loses the 25% discount on council tax so not everyone can charge so little.

This!

Your mother is a lazy cow, unfortunately unless you are able to move out you are stuck. I assume that you will be unable to save either, which is what she is after, keep her slave at home.
Best bet is to look for a house share / bedsit or move in with family.

I'm sorry that you are treated like this, some folk shouldn't be allowed to have kids

Maybe her mym should get a job? It's not on the OP to have to top up reduced benefits. A couple of hours a week would cover that shortfall and it sounds like mum has plenty of time available to work.

@MadeleineLucyMaxwell

"I disagree. You can rent rooms from £75 a week where I was and some one bed flats are £350 a month so it depends on where she lives. It shouldn't be up to your child whatever their age to replace your government handouts. A bit towards food and bills yeah and clean up after yourself but not half of what you get and you're the maid and nanny as well"

Where are these £350 one bed flats?

This sounds really difficult and I agree your mother is a lazy grabby fucker who is financially abusing you.

Please speak to the pastoral team at your college and also make an appointment with Citizens Advice Bureau and find out what help you might be entitled to so that you can leave. I hope you find a way forward. Good luck.

As a single person you'll get either one bedroom or shared home rate for local housing allowance. So first step is to find out what amount that is for your area. There's a webpage for it. As you're working you won't necessarily get the full amount.

Next go on spare room.com and check out the average cost of a room to rent.

Then go on entitled to website and enter your hypothetical future details as if you'd already moved out into one of these rooms. It will tell you what benefits you may get and is fairly accurate.

Do the same thing for a one bedroom flat. So you can see how it compares.

Whilst it's nice to train for a career, education past state age isn't a right it's a luxury. If you can't afford to move out on your apprentice wage, consider whether giving up your job and taking a minimum wage job somewhere else is the right option. Even if you choose to remain in this exploitative situation living at home until you've qualified and earning more, knowing you're choosing it gives you back control. Many people can't do a job of their choosing because they can't afford time out from earning a proper wage to train. They need to do a job that pays the bills. You're in charge of your own destiny OP.

In addition to whatever she's lost in other benefits, your mum will have lost 25% discount on council tax which is applicable when there's only one adult in the house. Council tax can be expensive depending on size of property and where you live.

I suggest stopping spending on your siblings and starting a savings fund for when you move out. You might need things like driving lessons, a car, furniture, rental deposit, hiring removals van. It all adds up. You need to start putting yourself first and that includes building a support network, which your family isn't suitable, so you need to spend time socialising with friends.

If your mum tells you to get out ensure you tell the council you're homeless, even if you're still there. The benchmark is whether you have a right to stay (you don't) and are welcome to stay if no rights (obviously not if she's told you to get out). If she does that don't give her any more money, you'll need that most recent months wages to pay your rent, benefits are paid in arrears but rent is paid upfront. If you have a prepayment meter for gas and electric that's paid upfront too.

Yes contribute but doing housework and making breakfast and looking after brothers isn't right. It would be less money and less time living elsewhere

I hope you take some of the advice on this thread, and keep coming back if you need to.

Your mum sounds awful. SHE should be working and SHE should be taking care of your siblings. I just had a quick look on rightmove before I wrote this. I don't know where you live, but near me there are plenty of double rooms to rent in shared houses for £400 a month with all bills included. I also saw a really lovely 1 bed flat for £525 per month.

This situation is so bad that if you go to citizens advice, you'd be ringing alarm bells for modern day slavery.

Definitely. OP DM has no rights to use her as a skivvy. Hopefully if OP starts socialising and makes friends she might find someone who wants to rent with her. Half of a two bedroom flat is often cheaper than the whole of a one bedroom flat.

With my post you quoted I was replying to someone who seemed appalled that a parent might need their child to make up a benefit shortfall from the child becoming an adult. In many homes that would be the only way the rent continued to be able to be paid. We don't know for sure whether this is OPs DM case or whether she's just a money grabbing cow. We don't know why the DM doesn't work either and whether she could or not.

You need to build your life away from your mum. She is a parasite that will slowly drain your life away. I appreciate that you’re an apprentice and working nearly full time. What about full time work that would help you move out faster?

If you were my daughter I’d probably ask you to pay for the broadband eack month or something like that. But knowing my other half you wouldnt bepaying anything.

@Helloworld469 how do you do co a dog grooming course online? Are you doing L2 or 3? What do you plan to do when your course is finished - can you find a groomer now who needs an assistant?

OP there are lots of schemes where you live at reduced rent with an older person in return for a few hours of help a week- much less than you’re doing now. Google and
look for homeshare schemes

Sorry ignore me, I see you are doing the apprenticeship.