Doing an online Tesco shop and I actually feel suicidal

[HowDee]

Granted I have MH anyways. Anxiety, depression, PTSD as well as physical illnesses.

Every month it just goes up. Tesco own brand potato waffles used to be £1,

Last month they were £1.60 now they're £1.85

A bag of tescos own fries are £2.50 now.

I don't have the fucking money to pay more for EVERYTHING. Rents gone up. Gas, electric.

I put the heating on TWICE over winter. Twice.

I've just shut the app crying because I'm just so sick of it all.

Where do they think we can get the money from? Where?? For everything going up?

And before you tell me off for buying frozen fries and waffles my child has ARFID and autism and has a very select amount of things she will eat.

@HowDee No her condition means she only eats specific things. Specific brands too. I don't know how she knows the difference but she does, it's like the lamest super power ever 😂

I've got one of these at home. How do they know. I've even put things in the branded box they like to try and fool them. Never works 🤣

Is there any local community pantries you could access these are different to food banks. You pay a set nominal amount and can get a lot for that you can often get all your basics like cereal tea coffee sugar edit then maybe leaving enough for your specific frozen stuff you need.

Can you buy only your DDs specific foods from Tesco and then get the rest of your shop from cheaper places? Do you have a pantry in your area where you can get a set number of items for £5 each week? It could feed you and free up the money for DDs stuff.

Hi Op. my husband has AFRID too and we have been struggling too. Iceland prices are horrendous! We stopped shopping at Tesco a few years ago. I really recommend Aldi (they do click and collect) and Morrisons as we found they are reasonable. Best of luck.

I’ve been keeping an eye on Aldi/tesco price diff largely as DH has this odd stigma about getting it all from Aldi and keeps saying ‘they price match Aldi!’ They price match on some brands and things like cheese that are over £2- the stuff you might remember thd prices on. Then chuck an extra 50p on eggs, condiments etc and £2 more on things like brioche buns, bagels, nappies.

We rely on deliveries too so we do a monthly Aldi haul for nappies, coffee, frozen and fortnightly tesco top ups with fresh stuff, I think we save about £12 a shop minimum this way.

@MarchMadness23
Sadly, yes. My mam is controlled by my dad so to see her I unfortunately need to see him. I’m still under 25 so no babies of my own yet but I’ve always said my dad will never be alone with them.

My dad likely has ASD too which explains why he would fly off the handle at the tiniest thing but it doesn’t excuse it at all. My in laws have been 100 times more understanding despite meeting me as an adult.

My childhood experience has taught me a lot about how NOT to treat any future children of mine.

Really? Our weekly shop from Lidl, plenty of meat but no booze, is never more than £90 for the 3 of us.

You could do air fryer fries or wedges with your own healthy oil rather than spending a fortune on waffles and French fries

What experience do you have of ARFID?

Aw thanks for letting me know. They should allow a bit of leeway for this sort of thing. Surely makes more sense than someone not shopping at all with them.

Thanks for the clarification!

I honestly know exactly how you feel! My daughter is autistic and a huge amount of her diet is Heinz products, she absolutely
knows the difference if I try her with own brand and won’t eat it. Their prices are crazy at the minute 😭

Im sorry you’re facing this it’s definitely a pinch right now.

My DS had ASD and whilst not officially AFRID he’s certainly very difficult and selective with foods. You will get ‘advice’ from people who mean well but don’t have a clue so honestly just ignore it.

I wanted to say I claim DLA and carer allowance for my son and you don’t have to have official diagnosis to get it, you just need to be able to document their struggles. It feels like a hugely daunting prospect but I promise it’s not as bad as it seems. I’d look into it if I were you because it does make a financial difference recurving that support. My son is <5 so I didn’t have a huge amount of evidence but we had enough to show his significant needs x

Op, when things were tight for us, I became a supermarket 'tart', getting all the new customer discounts more than once by using a different email address. Even if you can do it once with each it'll help. Off the top of my head I think Ocado and Sainsburys have good new customer discounts at the moment. Try Asda and Morrisons too. They'll all have the same branded stuff. Just make sure you top it up to the minimum spend with other things you need/use.
No idea if this still works but if I didn't shop at Tesco for a few weeks they'd send a money off code to tempt me back.
I wish you and your family all the best

I have an autistic child, with pda, spd, adhd and likely ARFID. I totally know where you are coming from.

You don’t have to have a diagnosis for DLA. The forms to fill in are really long, and you have to describe all the negative things about your child. But, for example, mid rate care and low rate mobility is about £340 per month.

Do you have a paediatrician for your daughter? My son saw a dietician by being referred by his paediatrician, not his doctor. He is massively underweight, which I think helped get the referral. As a result, I get build up drinks on prescription which, if he can’t eat anything during the day, at least means I know he’s had some calories and vitamins.

Wishing you all the best. People who don’t have a child with ARFID really, really don’t get it IME.

Just googled new customer discounts, Morrisons have £15 off £70, plus extra off subsequent shops. Asdas has just expired but it'll come back.

@Elgarelegie I agree that people who don’t have a child with ARFID don’t get it. It is the eating disorder that gets no sympathy, and plenty of abuse :(

@HowDee Can you apply for the Household Support Fund from your local council?

It’s wild. I have always bought not just brand - but top brand like Heinz beans, or fancy jams, or lurpak etc.

Never ever considered price of food shop because for us that’s the one thing I felt day in day out I was happy to spend on.

Now we buy value, and the shop is still double what it used to be.

This is completely unsustainable. I don’t know what the answer is but everything had doubled. Mortgages, gas, cars, food.

I can’t see any other answer but to put minimum wage up to 40k. And I say that as someone who bobbed along on 17k (34 joint) only a couple of years back - so I do know that used to be a tight but liveable wage for a couple with no holidays, no contract cars / phones etc.

I’m sorry for your loss @WashingMachineCrisis

HowDee could you get a food bank referral? If you can then buy the things your DD can eat and things for yourself from a food bank. I’m not saying you should use a food bank but it could help. It really is bad that prices are going through the roof.

My observation on the cause of these struggles we are going through is relevant.

People should be able to afford to eat. It's intrinsically political.

Nothing healthy about an oil if the child would genuinely starve rather than eat it

You're not wrong. So many things have either gone up in price or gone down in size (so effectively gone up in price.) I am in debt with my energy company for the first time ever and that's considering we've sat in bed or under heated throw all winter rather than have the house at a comfortable temperature. I no longer buy any branded products, hardly any meat unless it's on the reduced shelf. It's pitiful.

@Justforlaffs

The thing is, kids being choosy is nothing like someone with ARFRID, it's not that they dislike the alternative, it's that they can't eat it. Obviously severity varies from person to person. But I can result in shakes, vomiting, total break down.

it's not won't, it's can't.

to suggest you know what it's like when you just have picky kids is insulting. I don't think you meant to be, I think you were trying to empathise. But it's like someone having a leg amputated and you dmoathibg because you know what it's like, you once broke your fingernail.

What a ridiculous comment 😂