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Original poster

Doing an online Tesco shop and I actually feel suicidal

227 replies

HowDee · 25/03/2023 14:49

Granted I have MH anyways. Anxiety, depression, PTSD as well as physical illnesses.

Every month it just goes up. Tesco own brand potato waffles used to be £1,

Last month they were £1.60 now they're £1.85

A bag of tescos own fries are £2.50 now.

I don't have the fucking money to pay more for EVERYTHING. Rents gone up. Gas, electric.

I put the heating on TWICE over winter. Twice.

I've just shut the app crying because I'm just so sick of it all.

Where do they think we can get the money from? Where?? For everything going up?

And before you tell me off for buying frozen fries and waffles my child has ARFID and autism and has a very select amount of things she will eat.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
earsup · 25/03/2023 17:34

Join up for Ocado, always an offer such as £20 free voucher to start with. we have done that a few times as have different email accounts so have obtained 40 quid of food for free recently !

letthemalldoone · 25/03/2023 17:34

TWETMIRF · 25/03/2023 17:22

Sorry, no advice OP but I've never heard of ARFID before so looked it up and OMG, it totally describes me. People don't seem to understand why I have such a visceral reaction to so many foods and how the thought of eating the wrong thing makes me want to be sick.

Using cheese as an example, I can only tolerate medium cheddar from a particular creamery and have to study labels to check. Sainsbury's used to do it which is great as that's where I shop but they changed and since then I've rarely eaten it as it would involve going to somewhere else just for cheese. I genuinely can't imagine just eating cheese without being 100% sure it came from the right place and my diet is terrible because of it.

I hate feeling this way and generally avoid going out for meals when asked as too often people suggest places where there is literally nothing on the menu that I would eat. I'm all to aware of what a PITA this makes me and I sympathise with you having to deal with someone like me as everything is difficult

I never had either but doesn't it explain so much?!

I used to literally be beaten as a child in an attempt to make me eat more - my parents were at their wits' ends trying to get me to eat and I just couldn't!

I can usually find something I can eat on most menus so I don't avoid eating out but sometimes the options will be quite limited, or I will just have to say, "no green veg please" as I have such a aversion to it!

letthemalldoone · 25/03/2023 17:36

OP just remembered this - might help a little for one shop anyway:

£15 off
your first £60+online grocery shop
For orders delivered on or before 31/03/2023*
Click add e-coupons and enter below coupon code at the checkout.SCPPC23MA15

letthemalldoone · 25/03/2023 17:36

Sainsburys

Alltheproductsnoidea · 25/03/2023 17:36

This reply has been deleted

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Seriously piss off.

Onlymeanttostay5minutes · 25/03/2023 17:37

HowDee · 25/03/2023 15:26

I can't claim DLA as she is undiagnosed 'officially'.

Dr says ARFID but has to be diagnosed by CAHMS or dietician. Neither of which she can get in to see.

Multiple CAHMS referrals from myself, school, GP and social workers and all rejected.

They said unless she starts self harming of making herself throw up they aren't interested.

My daughter has autism and is now diagnosed with ARFID. We claim DLA and we were accepted before she had the diagnosis. It is not about the diagnosis you have but the extra care they need. You can get free help to complete the form

iloveeverykindofcat · 25/03/2023 17:37

@ADHDVet I have ARFID and autism too. When I was in primary school, you weren't allowed outside to play unless you ate all lunch.I don't eat things that are gloppy in texture. The school was big on rice pudding. If you didn't eat it you had to just sit there. So I sat there. For the entire hour. In silence. At the age of 6.

It's not picky eating.

OP I'm really sorry to hear about your struggles and sorry you're getting the usual well-meaning advice about persist with different foods. If it helps, I did get a bit more flexible with age and a lot of children do. But you can't take away their agency with ARFID. Quite often they'll just stop eating altogether. I did a few times.

Sirzy · 25/03/2023 17:37

Justforlaffs · 25/03/2023 17:31

No, they don’t - as I said, they don’t have autism. I was simply empathising with the fact that kids often won’t eat “own brand” food and that it’s often difficult to save money that way.

It was really nothing more than that - maybe don’t look so deeply into innocuous comments for some kind of offence to be taken?

Show quote history

But the difference is you can buy an alternative and know your children won’t starve without the expensive item.

for a lot of children who have arfid if their safe food isn’t available they will starve. They won’t eat something else instead they will just not eat.

i don’t for a second think you meant any malice from your comments but when arfid is involved it adds a whole new level of complications

iloveeverykindofcat · 25/03/2023 17:38

@Sirzy crosspost!

OldFan · 25/03/2023 17:41

I was simply empathising with the fact that kids often won’t eat “own brand” food and that it’s often difficult to save money that way.

@Justforlaffs If they never had branded stuff they wouldn't know the difference.

Usually the off branded stuff is pretty good nowadays. Apart from maybe seeming slightly smaller, it's difficult to tell the difference.

pncr · 25/03/2023 17:43

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What the actual fuck have I just read.

OldFan · 25/03/2023 17:43

@Alltheproductsnoidea I just try to live that way and in theory it should help. I have a severe MH disability (bipolar) and have never been able to work myself so I do know about not having much money, and also about mental health problems and how to manage them.

letthemalldoone · 25/03/2023 17:44

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pncr · 25/03/2023 17:44

OldFan · 25/03/2023 17:41

I was simply empathising with the fact that kids often won’t eat “own brand” food and that it’s often difficult to save money that way.

@Justforlaffs If they never had branded stuff they wouldn't know the difference.

Usually the off branded stuff is pretty good nowadays. Apart from maybe seeming slightly smaller, it's difficult to tell the difference.

What experience have you of ARFID?

heartbreakhotel20 · 25/03/2023 17:47

Please forgive me if this is ignorant as I have no idea about the condition your child has, just a thought could you try keeping the packets of the safe foods they do like and putting the cheaper alternative in the bag once cooked and condiments added etc they might not be able to tell especially if they think there having the same. It's a trick my mum uses on my dad because he's a label snob, again sorry if it's silly. Hope your ok, I would also definitely call universal credit and DLA hopefully there will be some help. I know it shouldn't come to this but could you also look at a local food bank for your food and that if you other children so you can save there to buy the specific things you need. Sending a virtual hug it's so hard at the moment xx

Original poster
HowDee · 25/03/2023 17:47

WashingMachineCrisis · 25/03/2023 17:05

I understand how you feel; I’ve been living off food banks for a while now. My husband took his own life 2 weeks ago and nothing will ever be the same again. I also have a child with ASD who will only eat certain foods - they tend to be processed and therefore not cheap.

I really do feel for you but your family will never get over it. Please can you reach out to the Samaritans or someone similar?

I'm so sorry for what you're going through and I'm sorry if my title upset you.

I won't do anything. It's just so hard, I often have those intrusive thoughts and lately with all the increases they have increased too. But I won't act on them.

I'm so sorry again 💐

OP posts:
ADHDVet · 25/03/2023 17:49

@iloveeverykindofcat

that’s awful! Thankfully I took packed lunch all throughout primary but I started self harming at around 7 as a result of stress caused by food.

My dad would belt me if I didn’t finish my tea, my mam did her best to make sure it was something I’d eat. I try and push myself more now but only from the comfort of my own home. I still vomit at least 3 times a day

Ilooklikesusiedent · 25/03/2023 17:49

I'm the same OP. I had to take propranolol (anti anxiety) meds before I did the shop last week.

Original poster
HowDee · 25/03/2023 17:51

@OldFan please don't spout scriptures at me. I don't believe and its really rude to push you're beliefs on people.

OP posts:
Playingchesswithpigeons · 25/03/2023 17:56

@OldFan What a terrible, horrible, patronising post and to top it off, IT quotes Jesus... The most unchristian, judgemental and un nerving post I think I have ever read

You need to go back to your doctor/consultant for a review. It will help you cope with things. Spuds are cheap, you can make your own chips (wedges are even easier and healthier to make, if you can encourage them to have that.)

You can also go for cheaper brands than that, or cheaper slight variations on it.

None of us are going to starve, and there are ways to shop fairly cheaply.

If you must you could get those particular more expensive brands of waffles/chips, and get budget versions of everything else.

And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them.

Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,[d] yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

CriticalAlert · 25/03/2023 17:57

I am so sorry and feel for you. I totally understand. I am terrified of all the bills increasing on 01/04/23 - a real April Fool's Day this will be. Food costs are becoming a nightmare and I dread going in to buy stuff now. It's a constant worry and not doing anyone's mental health any good. I'm on tranquilisers now because I can't sleep with worrying about money. This shitty Tory government don't really care about ordinary people, I think they'd rather we all dropped dead......well they're killing us off bit by bit.

I don't really have any suggestions for you I'm afraid, but can give you a virtual hug, xx

ADHDVet · 25/03/2023 17:58

heartbreakhotel20 · 25/03/2023 17:47

Please forgive me if this is ignorant as I have no idea about the condition your child has, just a thought could you try keeping the packets of the safe foods they do like and putting the cheaper alternative in the bag once cooked and condiments added etc they might not be able to tell especially if they think there having the same. It's a trick my mum uses on my dad because he's a label snob, again sorry if it's silly. Hope your ok, I would also definitely call universal credit and DLA hopefully there will be some help. I know it shouldn't come to this but could you also look at a local food bank for your food and that if you other children so you can save there to buy the specific things you need. Sending a virtual hug it's so hard at the moment xx

This would have made me stop eating for multiple days if my mam had done that to me when I was little. I would have noticed 100% and would’ve lost all trust in her.
it’s not that we’re intentionally sticking to one label, it’s that we genuinely cannot stomach anything else without gagging/vomiting.

Justpoppingon · 25/03/2023 17:58

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Also - fascinated to hear about your daughter as mine is very similar - she is only 2 so I still hope for change, but EXTREMELY limited diet. Wretches at the sight/touch of numerous foods. It's unbelievably stressful and unless anyone has experienced it they won't understand it - as you say it is far beyond picky eating and actually for me has been one of the most difficult parts of parenting.

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