Doing an online Tesco shop and I actually feel suicidal

[HowDee]

Granted I have MH anyways. Anxiety, depression, PTSD as well as physical illnesses.

Every month it just goes up. Tesco own brand potato waffles used to be £1,

Last month they were £1.60 now they're £1.85

A bag of tescos own fries are £2.50 now.

I don't have the fucking money to pay more for EVERYTHING. Rents gone up. Gas, electric.

I put the heating on TWICE over winter. Twice.

I've just shut the app crying because I'm just so sick of it all.

Where do they think we can get the money from? Where?? For everything going up?

And before you tell me off for buying frozen fries and waffles my child has ARFID and autism and has a very select amount of things she will eat.

It's a spectrum for her. Some things are non negotiable, her pizzas for example. Chocolate breads, she will eat any brand.

Iceland was quite good as they had all the branded stuff she likes at good prices and also the stuff she will eat of any brand they also had at good prices

She's had Tesco waffles for years and only tried her with Birdseye which she hates, so Iceland could be a success.

The only things she eats are:

Dr Oetker pizza, pepperoni
Homemade pizzas, pepperoni
Fries or poatoe waffles. Oh and alphabites
McDonald's chicken nuggets (she won't eat any others at all) and doesn't have it often
Chippy chips, again only occasionally.
Peri salt

I can occasionally get her to eat some cucumber.

Then she eats things like chocolate breads, crepes, waffles.

That's it.

She has a gummy vitamin each day.

And its not that she doesn't want to eat other things, she does.

She's sat crying before trying to try something new but just heaves as soon as it hits her lips.

Sometimes she heaves because her siblings have tomato sauce on their plate

I don't have a car, farm foods aren't online. And there isn't one near me. Ditto Lidl.

A taxi would probably cost me total £20 to aldi.

It’s shit OP. I usually shop with Asda which has always been a cheap supermarket but so many things have doubled in price. How the heck are we supposed to pay for it?

Hey, have you tried this website? Its lets you search for items in every shop for the cheapest. Worth a try?

Trolley

Possibly not helpful when you've said you don't drive but I pop everything I need/want in my online Asda and Tesco baskets then compare to see what's cheaper where. I then go to LIDL and walk around peering at my Tesco and Asda online baskets to see which is cheaper, but the cheaper things in Lidl, go to Tesco and do the same and then do my online order from Asda with whatever is cheaper there. It's time consuming and awful that we have to go to these lengths but I've found it does save me a bit. Oh, and I also buy stuff from Amazon on subscribe and save if it works out cheaper.

OP have you claimed DLA & carers allowance or credit yet? If not, please do so as it will help with the cost of everything.

https://www.gov.uk/disability-living-allowance-children

https://www.gov.uk/carers-allowance

https://www.gov.uk/carers-credit

I meant to say I have ASD @HowDee
I was the same, multiple hospital stays because my parents served things I couldn’t eat. I’d cry and then be belted by my dad whilst I was gagging and throwing up in my mouth.

it’s really good you have some wriggle room with some brands. I ate only one brand of bread (and only the crust) for almost 3 years.

I hope the Iceland shop works out for you

I am so sorry OP. Please be assured you're absolutely not a failure. This isn't your fault and you're doing the best you can for your child.

Its depressing and actually gives me anxiety going to the shops because the prices keep rising! I end up putting it back and meal planning for something else but even cheaper options are expensive.

And by only one brand of bread. I mean I ate solely bread… nothing else at all.

Yes that's right you don't need diagnosis for DLA. It's awarded based on difficulty not on diagnosis. Although diagnosis does make the symptoms you're claiming to have more likely to be believed. You do have a GP saying they believe it's ARFID though, which does count for something. DWP have to take medical evidence into account when considering the claim. Find out if they automatically contact GP as part of the claim, if not get the GP to write a letter to support your DLA claim, even if you have to pay for it and even if all it says is she's being referred to CAMHS for suspected ARFID. It should help

With the Iceland bonus card it’s actually £1 added for every twenty pounds you top up. So if you top up £60 you will get £3 added. Several times a year they have double bonus points (£2 for every £20) and occasionally triple points (£3 for every £20). Sign up for their e-mails. There is often £5 off £40, £8 off £60 etc. I used Iceland all the time.

Download the Olio app and see if there’s anyone living near you. Leftover sell by date food from supermarkets, Costa, iceland is collected by volunteers and given away free on the app. I appreciate they would have to be fairly close to you as you don’t drive, but worth a look.

TooGoodToGo boxes. Another app to download. These can be a bit hit and miss but I have had constantly good boxes from ALDI for £3.30 each. Again, may not be practical without transport but if you have friends in a similar position they might pick up one for themselves and one for you. I would be happy to pick up for a friend or neighbour.

Check if you have a community fridge or pantry nearby. We have two within walking distance and one a but further away. Again, a friend with transport might help out. If you can get free or cheap food for the rest of the family it will free up extra cash to buy the required food for your DD with ARFID.

I bought 3/4s of a bag for £65. Literally only stuff for breakfast and a few top up items.

Indian daals were the best option I found when living in London as a uni student.

It's horrendous isn't it! We're very lucky that my DH got a very good payrise when he changed jobs last year. Honestly, we have the same standard of living now as we did before this, which is quite shocking when you think about it.
I imagine it's so much scarier for you when you can't even switch brands because your child needs to continue to eat the same brands.
I'm not going to suggest anything as I expect that's already been done upthread but seriously when is this going to end?! All that seems to be happening is the BoE increasing interest rates, which has a knock-on effect on renters as well via landlord mortgage rates increasing 😭

I wish I could go to further flung supermarkets to help out, given that I have a car. I will that it was even a conversation it's normal to have - 'I'm driving to Aldi, can I get you anything' - if you feel up to it it's worth trying with any friends who do drive.

Hope Iceland turns out to be helpful.

Hi OP,
We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Mental Health page.
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

Iceland is fantastic for the branded freezer stuff and ive never had a problem getting next day delivery round here. I know you said you didn't have a farmfoods near you but could you put a pound aside a couple of times a week to get a taxi to one and back once a month? It's so shit, I spend hours looking for the best deals at different supermarkets but I'm fortunate enough to drive. What about bus routes? Can you get to a farmfoods by bus? Saying that, a taxi probably isn't much more these days 😔

This is what people who voted Tory, voted for.

Seeing all the posts attacking gogohmm makes me realise how ignorant some people are about autism and arfid.
I've worked with children with autism for years and have three young relatives with autism, two of them with arfid. Not all children with autism or arfid are the same.
For some - even most - yes they can extend their range of foods and should be encouraged to in a safe way with support.
OP isn't in a great place to try that just now because she doesn't have professional support and can't afford the wastage (which you have to be able to accept) but please stop claiming that children with ARFID should be given up on and should accept eating three specific foods for the rest of their lives. It really isn't a helpful mindset and leaves them so vulnerable if a shop pulls a product.
OP, I really feel for you and I hope things get better.

OP sorry hit post too soon. Depending on how old your child is and communication levels, could you choose one thing with them to try in a different brand alongside 'safe' foods?
Biggest tip, don't try to trick them. It isn't worth it down the line if they don't trust you with their food anymore.

This 100%

Tbf I think a lot of kids are the same even if they don’t have autism - I can’t buy supermarket own brand stuff as they just won’t eat it - they can smell a coco pops dupe or whatever a mile off!

Yes - they should be encouraged in a safe way with support.

Not "sitting at the table refusing to let her get down" for hours on end.

Was popping on to suggest applying for DLA too.

I have a child with autism and I understand the food issues, it's a genuine sensory issue related to the diagnosis not just a child acting spoilt.

My son has clothing issues and I have to buy clothing that he will tolerate wearing. Its not him insisting on designer labels it's things like seams. And it costs me more, especially when he's growing.