Page 3 | Doing an online Tesco shop and I actually feel suicidal

HowDee · 2023-03-25T14:49:22+00:00

Granted I have MH anyways. Anxiety, depression, PTSD as well as physical illnesses. Every month it just goes up. Tesco own brand potato waffles used to be £1, Last month they were £1.60 now they're £1.85 A bag of tescos own fries are £2.50 now. I don't have the fucking money to pay more for EVERYTHING. Rents gone up. Gas, electric. I put the heating on TWICE over winter. Twice. I've just shut the app crying because I'm just so sick of it all. Where do they think we can get the money from? Where?? For everything going up? And before you tell me off for buying frozen fries and waffles my child has ARFID and autism and has a very select amount of things she will eat.

letthemalldoone · 25/03/2023 15:45

I alternate my online shops. The increased cost of foods is brutal! I literally sit there with the various pages open and pick the one that has the item I want for the cheapest price. I find myself doing smaller shops from more than one supermarket. I pick the cheapest saver slots. Sometimes believe it or not, there's an odd thing M&S are actually cheaper for (obviously going instore) - like a loaf.

Other things in M&S you'd need a bloody mortgage for!! Used to love their 8 slices packs of ham. Used to be £1 each - last I bought were £1.60!! I don't know how these price rises are sustainable for people, and I somehow can't see them coming back down again!

Badbudgeter · 25/03/2023 15:45

Also if you’re near a Co-op they often do a five for £6 deal with chicken dippers. So you will get a 2 pack birdseyechicken breasts, then a box of chicken dippers, chips, a bag of peas and a tub of ice cream. I think they rotate it round chicken, fish and pizza. It’s quite good value.

THATissoooFETCH · 25/03/2023 15:45

@Awwlookatmybabyspider

I was just trying to give a soloution which wasn't "shop elsewhere" which is what most people were saying!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/03/2023 15:45

If your little one has AFRID do they get DLA or is it PIP. Its not for me to make promises on the powers the be's behalf but it is a medical condition that obviously costs more money if they'll only eat certain food.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/03/2023 15:47

THATissoooFETCH · 25/03/2023 15:45

@Awwlookatmybabyspider

I was just trying to give a soloution which wasn't "shop elsewhere" which is what most people were saying!

I wasn't getting you. I can understand it may have came over like though.

SleepyMathematician · 25/03/2023 15:47

I feel so much for you. I was walking round tesco the other evening and I texted DH to say I was utterly depressed and it was soul destroying. I swear every single time I go back things are more expensive. Staples like cheese I look at and think I can’t afford. I’m buying the cheapest stuff now with no taste. Then you find half the stuff is out of stock, shelves are empty and only the expensive stuff is left. I’m not earning any extra from pre 2020 and DH is earning less. I don’t know where this extra money is meant to come from. It doesn’t help that I am coeliac. Gluten free bread was always expensive but it’s just ridiculous now, often £4.50 for a tiny 400g loaf in our local co op and the “cheap” tiny £2.00 loaf at Tesco is invariably out of stock. I’m meant to get it on prescription but that’s a whole other depressing story of battling my GP.
i just wonder what else can give. I’ve cut costs everywhere I can. It’s appalling.

Sirzy · 25/03/2023 15:49

HowDee · 25/03/2023 15:39

I've just placed a frozen shop with Iceland. We will see how that goes down with DD. They had her usual pizzas and such. She can be OK with fries, she smothers them in peri salt so she might not notice. The waffles, we will see, funnily enough she doesn't like birdeyes version so maybe Iceland own will be similar enough to Tesco.

No fresh stuff but it was definitely cheaper.

And also cheaper for DDs main food staples (pain au chocolates and crepes)

I get that with the waffles. They were my staple food growing up but I would only eat asdas own brand

Rosscameasdoody · 25/03/2023 15:49

GG1986 · 25/03/2023 15:19

I spent 90 on a tesco shop the other day and was shocked how little there was. I have to do top ups through the week also
Tempted to go back to shopping at aldi and see if we can save money.

I had the same thought but I think the cheaper supermarkets are taking the mick, as their prices seem to be rocketing faster than the rest. I did a Tesco online shop last week and was really shocked at how little £100 buys - even sticking to own brand, and there was very little meat, and no booze.

raincamepouringdown · 25/03/2023 15:50

Store prices are shocking and depressing. It's everything.

cornflakegeneration · 25/03/2023 15:50

HowDee · 25/03/2023 15:26

I can't claim DLA as she is undiagnosed 'officially'.

Dr says ARFID but has to be diagnosed by CAHMS or dietician. Neither of which she can get in to see.

Multiple CAHMS referrals from myself, school, GP and social workers and all rejected.

They said unless she starts self harming of making herself throw up they aren't interested.

You can claim (or attempt to claim) DLA even without a diagnosis. You just need to be really thorough with detail over all the things that makes your/her life more difficult than the average person. And back up with any medical letters/school letters that you have.

pncr · 25/03/2023 15:53

gogohmm · 25/03/2023 15:08

I know it's easy to say from a computer but persevere with the foods, my dd was down to a handful of foods but I refused to give in continuing to serve a varied diet and by teenage years she ate relatively ok, still picky but nothing like when she only ate chicken nuggets and chips without tears. It took hours of sitting at the table refusing to let her get down but for her own health it is necessary.

Lidl is better value

Have you any experience of a child with ARFID?

cornflakegeneration · 25/03/2023 15:56

If you're successful claiming for DLA then you might be able to claim carers allowance depending on how much you work/care for child.

So sorry to hear that you're feeling so low. I've noticed the same thing with the shopping - doesn't help that I have teen boys that hoover up food. It's really depressing.

userxx · 25/03/2023 16:03

SmartestGiantInCity · 25/03/2023 14:54

Try Iceland. Their waffles are £1.25 or birds eye four for a fiver so same price. Free delivery if you spend £40.

I've just set up an Iceland account, it's free delivery over £25.00. I'm going to give it a go, frozen food is definitely cheaper.

SoNoWrecksToday · 25/03/2023 16:03

No advice but solidarity OP. Budgeting and meal planning for a child with strict dietary needs is hard enough at the best of times. It’s absolutely draining with current prices as they are.

ADHDVet · 25/03/2023 16:04

I have ADHD and I was very similar when younger. You are better off buying what you know she’ll eat than wasting money on something she likely won’t eat.
Could you change what you eat in any way? I understand if you already eat the cheapest value meals then there isn’t much you can do and that’s so depressing.

Whiskers4 · 25/03/2023 16:05

OP, if the Iceland order works (or you at least find it's worth doing occasionally for specific things), you can get bonus card with them. Each time you top up £20, you get a pound off, so £19. You need to be separate top ups, as it'll still be £1 off if you topped up £40. Not a massive saving, but it all helps.

ReneBumsWombats · 25/03/2023 16:06

HowDee · 25/03/2023 14:57

Obviously I'm not going to do myself in over a food shop but it's the pressure of everything.

What's it going to be like in six months? £3 for waffles

I already can't afford chicken dippers now. One of the very small amount of things my kid will eat gone. I felt like such a failure.

There is an enormous failure going on, but it absolutely isn't yours.

I'm so fucking angry.

dizzygirl1 · 25/03/2023 16:07

gogohmm · 25/03/2023 15:08

I know it's easy to say from a computer but persevere with the foods, my dd was down to a handful of foods but I refused to give in continuing to serve a varied diet and by teenage years she ate relatively ok, still picky but nothing like when she only ate chicken nuggets and chips without tears. It took hours of sitting at the table refusing to let her get down but for her own health it is necessary.

Lidl is better value

That's awful awful advice. Not only is it not applicable in the OPs situation but the damage you're doing to your daughter by sitting there for hours being force fed.
My parents were similar about certain foods, if I didn't like it I had to sit there until i ate it. Horrible Horrible memories and surprisingly no I don't eat it now, because the thought of it makes me sick.

There's not giving in and then there is just be awful to your child.

ThisMama1 · 25/03/2023 16:08

HowDee · 25/03/2023 15:26

I can't claim DLA as she is undiagnosed 'officially'.

Dr says ARFID but has to be diagnosed by CAHMS or dietician. Neither of which she can get in to see.

Multiple CAHMS referrals from myself, school, GP and social workers and all rejected.

They said unless she starts self harming of making herself throw up they aren't interested.

You 100% can claim DLA without a diagnosis, I’ve done so myself for my boy who has autism. We claimed DLA for years before he got his actual diagnosis. DLA goes on need not diagnosis, you don’t automatically qualify just because you get a diagnosis.

Get an appointment with CAB to help with the forms or is be more than happy to help you. I’ve done so with other parents in my area who didn’t think they could claim until they had a diagnosis.

on a side note I also know the issues around our kids only eating certain things & how it’s not picky eating or ‘they’ll eat when they’re hungry’. You won’t have made this thread for financial support but I’d me more than happy to send you a bit of money when I can to help make ease the stress xx

Instagramearworms · 25/03/2023 16:15

gogohmm · 25/03/2023 15:08

I know it's easy to say from a computer but persevere with the foods, my dd was down to a handful of foods but I refused to give in continuing to serve a varied diet and by teenage years she ate relatively ok, still picky but nothing like when she only ate chicken nuggets and chips without tears. It took hours of sitting at the table refusing to let her get down but for her own health it is necessary.

Lidl is better value

I was a child of a parent like you. There are many foods now that I was forced to eat as a child that I cannot eat as an adult. I was dangerously underweight at one point, now I am overweight and have never ever had a healthly relationship with food

You may think you have 'fixed' the issue but its just as likely you have prolonged it but dealing with it in such an unhealthy fashion

Foods i wasnt forced to eat but I have been able to try as an adult I have been fine with and given time and gentleness from my DH i have expanded my food choices. But forcing me to eat a certain food will never work long term

Cobol · 25/03/2023 16:15

Most benefits will be going up by 10% in April so hopefully anything you get, such as child benefit, will be worth a bit more from next month OP. I agree with others that Tescos in particular seems to have gone up a lot compared with other stores. It's tough for those who don't have access to alternatives.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 25/03/2023 16:15

HowDee · 25/03/2023 15:26

I can't claim DLA as she is undiagnosed 'officially'.

Dr says ARFID but has to be diagnosed by CAHMS or dietician. Neither of which she can get in to see.

Multiple CAHMS referrals from myself, school, GP and social workers and all rejected.

They said unless she starts self harming of making herself throw up they aren't interested.

Yep.

Can't stop things getting worse without help.

Can't get help without a diagnosis.

Can't get a diagnosis without seeing a medic.

Can't see a medic unless things get worse.

SoNoWrecksToday · 25/03/2023 16:17

Seeing the post from gogohmm makes me realise how ignorant some people still are about the needs of autistic children. Awful, awful advice and what a disgraceful way to treat any child.

Viviennemary · 25/03/2023 16:18

I sympathise. I am not even hard up though I was once. But I refuse to pay tthe price increases for some things. I just don't buy them. Try a different supermarket. I agree farm foods is very cheap.

ADHDVet · 25/03/2023 16:20

gogohmm · 25/03/2023 15:08

I know it's easy to say from a computer but persevere with the foods, my dd was down to a handful of foods but I refused to give in continuing to serve a varied diet and by teenage years she ate relatively ok, still picky but nothing like when she only ate chicken nuggets and chips without tears. It took hours of sitting at the table refusing to let her get down but for her own health it is necessary.

Lidl is better value

My parents tried that when I was younger and I ended up in hospital. I eat loads more now as an adult as I approach myself with compassion. There’s never any stress to try the new food if I don’t feel like it because I have the luxury to be able to serve it as a side dish.

My parents just caused years of extra trauma and issues for me. I would never do the same to any child of mine. There are still certain textures I can’t even look at. I will never eat soup or a curry for example and that’s okay.