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Original poster

We've massively overstretched ourselves. Would it be ok to borrow from the DC savings? Has anyone ever done this?

248 replies

Parsnipsandginger · 12/02/2023 23:15

We would put it all back over time. The plan is for DC to have their savings (from us) when they are 18. That's 5 years away yet
We urgently need to find £2.5k

Thoughts plse

OP posts:
Cassy92 · 13/02/2023 12:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request

But had they not been saving for the kids specifically but just had a saving account called 'rainy day' then it would be OK?

They have been putting away £100per month since their kids were born, with the intention that money goes to their kids. What your saying is that had they named the account simply savings with no intention to give the money to their kids it wouldn't be wrong but because they had the good intention of giving it to their kids - it now is.

Righto

2bazookas · 13/02/2023 12:21

No, it would not be all right to take money from your childrens savings account; any more than it would be all right to sneak it from an elderly parents savings account , or from your employer's business.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 13/02/2023 12:26

2bazookas · 13/02/2023 12:21

No, it would not be all right to take money from your childrens savings account; any more than it would be all right to sneak it from an elderly parents savings account , or from your employer's business.

The parents saved the money and the children don't know it's there! It's in no way comparable to borrowing from an elderly parent or your employer FFS!

SkyHippoOnACloud · 13/02/2023 12:29

2bazookas · 13/02/2023 12:21

No, it would not be all right to take money from your childrens savings account; any more than it would be all right to sneak it from an elderly parents savings account , or from your employer's business.

What planet are you on? Taking from the parents or the employer would see OP arrested for theft. Taking from the DC? Nothing happens. Because it's allowed.

housemaus · 13/02/2023 12:29

2bazookas · 13/02/2023 12:21

No, it would not be all right to take money from your childrens savings account; any more than it would be all right to sneak it from an elderly parents savings account , or from your employer's business.

That's not the same thing at all?! This whole thread is wild.

What's going to benefit the children more: their parents not going into debt now, or them having some money they don't know about in a bank account they don't know about that they won't be given for another 5+ years anyway?

Pipsquiggle · 13/02/2023 12:30

2bazookas · 13/02/2023 12:21

No, it would not be all right to take money from your childrens savings account; any more than it would be all right to sneak it from an elderly parents savings account , or from your employer's business.

It's not the DC's money. The DC don't know it's there. It is OP's own money.

As I said in an earlier post, OP needs to reframe this money. It is not her DC's, it is her money

BigBoysDontCry · 13/02/2023 12:34

Honestly I think you need to be thinking about how you organise your finances. The things that have impacted you are somewhat predictable e.g. glasses and uniform and the others are pretty normal things to happen.

You should have money set aside for these things before you start saving from your own income for your DC in the future.

Obviously in the current climate people might have used up their emergency fund, but the priority should then be replacing that rather than putting ring fenced savings in DC accounts.

You need to what you need to do now, but a reappraisal of how you have overstretched yourselves and how you are going to properly prepare for these types of things should be your priority.

LuckySantangelo35 · 13/02/2023 12:43

kitcat15 · 12/02/2023 23:21

Don’t do it…it’s not yours to take…l.it’s wrong

@kitcat15

well technically it is OP’s money. The children haven’t earned it themselves have they?!

Maroon85 · 13/02/2023 12:44

This is why I don't save money into DCs accounts. I save into my own account then it is there to spend on whatever I see fit. Hopefully I won't need to use that and when the DC get old enough there'll be a decent enough chunk of money in my own savings to give to them, but once you start saving it into their own account it certainly would feel wrong to me to take it out.
Ensuring you have enough money saved for these eventualities is more important than ensuring you pay money into the DCs account regularly.

LuckySantangelo35 · 13/02/2023 12:44

@2bazookas

technically it is OP’s money. The children haven’t earned it themselves have they?! Completely different to an elderly parents money- that is their money that they have earned themselves

LuckySantangelo35 · 13/02/2023 12:46

Just use the money op

by the sound of it, it’s going on stuff that would all benefit the kids anyway

AIBUYesSometimes · 13/02/2023 12:49

When we got child benefit it all went straight into our kids accounts

My child benefit went into my savings account and was used to contribute (eventually) towards 7 years of their combined uni education (fees and housing.)

I genuinely do no understand parents saving for their child to hand over when they are 18, even if the parents can afford it.

At that age they are still emotionally immature and it's likely to be pissed away (literally) or spent on things they don't need. It seems to be a 'poor man's equivalent' of very wealthy families creating Trust Funds to avoid Inheritance Tax.

It's far better for parents to save money in their own name, so they can access it for whatever, and when a child needs money towards a house, say 'Here you are love, we've saved £X for you) £25K or £100K or whatever it is.

whatanoddthingtoask · 13/02/2023 12:50

We had to do this once it was money we saved for dc bit the situation changed so we had to take it back

ThomasinaLivesHere · 13/02/2023 12:50

I think it would be easier just to have a savings account in your name that way you do feel guilty if it’s needed. That way you can save and give money when children are adults. I think it’s a bit mad giving an 18 year old a lump sum. Me at that age would have totally wasted it. My parents gave me some money when I bought a house though which was much appreciated.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 13/02/2023 12:51

Do = don’t

Sleeepdeprived · 13/02/2023 12:51

Could you get a 0% interest credit card instead?

Mamabear48 · 13/02/2023 12:53

Absolutely fine as long as you replace it. You put it there in the first place for them!

Userusing1 · 13/02/2023 13:00

We kept all savings in our name, if it's in the DC name they can do anything with it at 18, you could have gone short for the DC to just piss it up the wall. I would use the money then put it back but in your name to give to them as appropriate.

sleephelp2022 · 13/02/2023 13:10

RingRingRingGoesTheTelephone · 13/02/2023 11:04

Sounds like you can't afford to put the money aside if you are struggling to cover basic things like school uniform and glasses. They aren't unexpected expenses. I'm not sure giving an 18 year old a large sum of money is a good idea anyway, they will just drink it away at uni, or buy a car which is fine in the short term will make it easy to get around but it isnt a long term investment or something you should scrimp to provide for. I'd give them the money when they are buying a house or to help with wedding costs. Use the savings, it's mostly your money anyway, put it back if you can, if you can't it isn't the end of the world.

Agree with this post.

Technically it's your money OP but why are you even putting it away when you have absolutely zero rainy day fund?? Its not a necessity you know to give your kids a lump sum at 18 - I don't know anyone who's had this

AIBUYesSometimes · 13/02/2023 14:42

Why have you asked here @Parsnipsandginger rather than talking it over with your partner(I assume you have one as you write 'we')

Is he saying yes, take the money and you feel it's not right?

You really do sound money-ignorant.

Why would you even hesitate to take money out an account your child has when it's your money anyway and they don't know it's there?

It's because you have this purely emotional plan to give your 18 year olds a handout.

It's not working because you can't afford your everyday outgoings, plus being able to save for the unexpected.

Rule of finances- you should have at least 3 months' salary/ net income saved as a rainy day fund by the time you have been working for a while.

www.lloydsbank.com/savings/savings-calculator/emergency-rainy-day-fund.html#:~:text=The%20recommendation%20is%20to%20have,buffer%20if%20you%20need%20it.

StarDolphins · 13/02/2023 14:49

I think this is absolutely fine. They don’t know about the money, it’s not their yet & you’ll be paying it back.

Sometimes these things happen & it will all be ok in the end!

My friends parents saved up £10k for her but had to spend it & couldn’t pay it back - she was meant to have it at 18 but they gave it to her at 25 & explained the back story. Again, she didn’t know she was going to get the money anyway!

StarDolphins · 13/02/2023 14:50

*theirs

StarDolphins · 13/02/2023 14:53

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 13/02/2023 10:56

I think that if at all possible you need to talk it over with them and ask their permission in an age-appropriate way. Point out the advantages of borrowing it (You can solve a really big problem) and say how you will pay it back. And abide by their decision.

Why does she need to get their permission when it’s still their parents money & the kids don’t know about it?

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 13/02/2023 15:03

Rule of finances- you should have at least 3 months' salary/ net income saved as a rainy day fund by the time you have been working for a while.

Nice for those who can afford it

BigBoysDontCry · 13/02/2023 15:19

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 13/02/2023 15:03

Rule of finances- you should have at least 3 months' salary/ net income saved as a rainy day fund by the time you have been working for a while.

Nice for those who can afford it

But that's the point. It is for those who can afford it. OP and partner have overstretched themselves which could perhaps have been avoided. Instead of puriing spare income into a fund to help deal with life's ups and downs, they have ring fenced that money for DC and that's why they are now in a dilemma. Any spare cash firstly goes to build up 3 months outgoings, then you can put excess cash away for DC.

It's madness to have money that has come from you sitting in DCs account when you have no contingency to use up first.

It doesn't sound like there have been massive life events such as losing a job etc which could have quickly wiped out contingency and more, just some of the normal planned/unplanned expenditure.

Of course they need to use the money short term but then they need to build up the contingency fund before restarting the dc savings. Unless you are never going to touch those, it's pointless to carry on they things are