We've massively overstretched ourselves. Would it be ok to borrow from the DC savings? Has anyone ever done this?

[Parsnipsandginger]

We would put it all back over time. The plan is for DC to have their savings (from us) when they are 18. That's 5 years away yet
We urgently need to find £2.5k

Thoughts plse

@Parsnipsandginger I've not gone through this thread, but if you need the money and it is there, then obviously use it. It is silly not to if the alternative is defaulting on bills. If I needed money to keep afloat, then I'd ask the kids for the money (mine are older and know about it) and expect them to to say yes because they would be foolish not to.

As for paying it back, as others have said, focus on having an emergency fund first.

I'd also change optician. £500 for lenses is a rip off. I've varifocals and they cost me £40 including the frame. Asda, Spec Savers or Online are cheap and pretty decent. Our kids had designer frames and lenses and anti-reflection coating and three pairs came to £69 yesterday. I realise that lenses can be more expensive for some prescriptions, but £500 seems beyond the pale.

Also, couldn't you have claimed on your house insurance for the water damage etc? If you couldn't because you didn't have the insurance, then that's something you need more than a kids savings pot.

My parents asked if they could borrow the £21 in my savings account when I was around 10 and I gladly let them and felt pleased I could help. They paid it back.

I know people who borrowed from their children's savings to make house improvements and also paid it back.

I can't get excited about this. Of course it's ok. It's much better to do this than to get a loan and pay interest. I would however echo others who have said maybe put some savings away for yourself as a matter of urgency so this ideally doesn't happen again. Even if you feel you need to replenish the savings immediately, don't add any more to your child's savings until you have a health pot of your own built up.

Just to clarify - aren't these savings that the parents themselves have put aside? Unless it's gifted from a third party why shouldn't they use it during a time of need?!

I think it's different if it's inheritance money from someone else though

OP said about £100 was from the grandparents so that should be left in the account, rest was from them.

I’m so jealous of all the people thinking several hundred pounds for lenses is unusual! For those of us with complex prescriptions even going to cheap places it costs a fortune. The Govt support for complex prescriptions was £30 and last time I applied had dropped to £20. I mean, it’s better than nothing but talk about a drop in the ocean! (-12 and astigmatism amongst other things means glasses are VV pricy for me!)

I'm not -12, but I'm varifocal and I've got an as astigmatism. Asda opticians will give you a "designer" frame and varifocals, with thinner lens and anti reflection and anti scratch for £80.

I've paid lots in the past at other high street stores, but not any longer. Anyway, I'm just trying to help.

I totally agree. It was hundreds of pounds last time I went to Specsavers. Really strong myopia means having to pay for thinner lenses or they would be milk bottles, then astigmatism and varifocals on top. That's with basic frames. Nothing glamorous.

I'll look into that but when you add astigmatism and cvvarifocals to severe myopia it adds up. Still - £80 is a LOT better than £380!

Well there is thinner lenses and thinner lenses... Standard thinned down isn't too bad but once you get into a strong prescription, you need a higher level of thinning and the price rockets each thinner level you go. £500 is pretty steep, but my son (now an adult) has -10 and astigmatism and he was about £360 I think last time. We've had to pay for thinning for him since he was 6 as this is never included and can you imagine the weight of that on a small child's face never mind the aesthetics.

DH has to have the top varifocal lenses otherwise they don't work for him. On one occasion the optician put the wrong ones in and he had constant headaches until they were replaced.

If it's those normal life expenditure type things and you are overstretched to be able to afford them out of your own savings or your monthly money then I'm not sure how you think you will pay it back at £100 when you are already over stretched. I'm not saying you shouldn't take it, I mean, it's earmarked for the kids but it's your savings really, but I think your overall understanding of your financial plan needs revisiting because it doesn't make sense that you'd need that money and can afford to repay it on top of continuing to save it!

Yes if need the money borrow off the kids as long as repay it

But

The glasses sound very costly @Parsnipsandginger

For you or dc

Get the prescription then use an online service like glasses direct

My optician said my glasses and prescription would be £600+

I got 2 for £25 via glasses direct and that included anti glare and astigmatism on both eyes

Op you don’t owe your kids a lump sum of your money you know!!

Use that cash!!

Have you not got any savings, it doesn't sound very sensible to save to give 18 year olds a lump sum and have no savings yourself for any emergencies that may crop up

I’m definitely going to check out Asda, @FenghuangHoyan and @WinterFoxes to see if they can save me any money on my next pair! I need new ones soon as mine are really not strong enough any more, will be interesting to see what the price saving is.

I’m amazed how little people are paying for their glasses
I paid £750 last time, ( inc eye test) the frames were only £100ish I think.
Again lots of thinning needed and varifocals

Im definitely going to look at Asda and online next t8me. Might even treat myself to a second pair if those are the prices.

Glad I popped on MN tonight…..oops this morning

@BigBoysDontCry makes a good point. I got prescription sunglasses - well the ones that go dark in the sun but not indoors - at the start of the first lockdown, and they couldn’t be thinned as much as my usual lenses are. The sheer weight of them means that after about an hour my nose and ears hurt. I had thought I could wear them all day in the summer but there’s no way. For a small child it would be even worse. The optician had briefly mentioned that they couldn’t be thinned as much as my usual lenses, but with everything going on (and being in desperate need of new glasses) I hadn’t really considered the impact of the thicker lenses. My main worry was they’d look like bottle bottoms, which I thought wouldn’t matter as they would mostly be dark glasses as they were for summer (I figured we’d be well over the lockdowns by winter - hah!) Having the lenses less thin took the price down from the usual £700 ish to £400, without having cheaper frames. And it was still a total waste of money as I can’t wear them and am stuck with my old ones.

I worked for an Optician very briefly in the 90s; private not a chain. Frames and lenses are as cheap as chips at source and the mark up is absolutely shocking.

I’ve paid 500 for glasses, I have a small head. I went to specsavers and ‘got fitted by their expert’ and came out with too big glasses and sunglasses which I lived with for a couple of years since they had cost a few hundred for both, then couldn’t stand it and went to a local recommend optometrist to get glasses that fit properly. Just regular glasses, I decided for the amount i wear them I’d have to stick with the sunglasses that fell off if I bent over. I went with the only pair that fitted properly and weren’t from the children’s range, they looked more sophisticated than the children’s range! £500.

The other point is that when you attend an optician, if the glasses aren't quite right they will sort it out. My DSs last glasses were sent away to be made to the manufacturer of the frames so that they should be seamless in terms of being a match to the frames. When he picked them up he initially felt something wasn't quite right but was reassured that the change in prescription might take a little getting used to. But they didn't settle and initially they thought it was maybe just slightly off fit, still no good. Turns out there was a minute error in the adjustment for the astigmatism between the prescription given and the one supplied. The optician said that 999 out of 1000 people wouldn't even notice it and yet it was making my DS dizzy and unbalanced. The glasses were sent off and completely replaced.

I think for a relatively straightforward prescription there are definitely bargains to be had, my friend got two lovely pairs on-line for £20, but for complex or large prescriptions I prefer the individual personal attention.

If not borrowing it means the children will be cold and hungry or the roof over their head is threatened, then you’d be mad not to borrow it.

As others said, you need to be honest about what it’s for…..if it’s for non-essentials, then no. But you know that.

Sometimes life throws a crisis at the best organised and things go pear shaped. There’s no shame in that. However, also some people are very poor with money and constantly raiding their kids money boxes and not paying it back. Just make sure you’re not the latter.

Re money other people gave the kids, fine to borrow that too if you intend tooaybit back and will do so. You are the adult and you are responsible for feeding and clothing them and if you can’t do that, it’s the best use of the money.

They haven't given it to their kids though.....their kid doesn't even know the account exists.

I really don't understand where you're coming from.