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Original poster

We've massively overstretched ourselves. Would it be ok to borrow from the DC savings? Has anyone ever done this?

248 replies

Parsnipsandginger · 12/02/2023 23:15

We would put it all back over time. The plan is for DC to have their savings (from us) when they are 18. That's 5 years away yet
We urgently need to find £2.5k

Thoughts plse

OP posts:
WetLettuce2 · 12/02/2023 23:41

I’ve definitely done this a few times and always put it back.

My mum did this to me years ago and didn’t return it so I missed out on N&P shares. Still gutted.

Do it, but put it straight back.

BaroldFromEastenders · 12/02/2023 23:42

I’d do it and I wouldn’t bother asking or tell them - just replace it as soon as you can.

itbemay · 12/02/2023 23:45

Of course it is! You need it, they have it and are currently not using it!

caringcarer · 12/02/2023 23:47

I'd not take my children's money. Get a loan if you need money urgently. Why do you need it? What if you can't pay it back. Once you have gifted money to your child the money belongs to them. Are you even asking the children's permission or just going to take it? What if they say no or feel pressured to give you their money?

Thatboymum · 12/02/2023 23:48

depends what the moneys for and who put the money Into the savings I think

2023istheyearigetmyacttogether · 12/02/2023 23:48

We've never saved money in the children's names, only in ours so that we wouldn't be in this predicament! If, when they turn 18/21/25 we're in a position to give them some cash, great. In the meantime, we can raid it if we need to so that we can drive them to school, they can live in a warm(ish) house, eat etc

OneLongSmorgasbord · 12/02/2023 23:48

As it's money you've saved, I do it without a second thought.

DeeCeeCherry · 12/02/2023 23:49

If you're massively overstretched then how and when will you pay £2.5K back, on top of all else you'll have to pay out here and there? You said 'we've' so you're not having to manage finances/budget alone.

I see the general consensus is yes, borrow it. Ok if needs must but if it could be a case of delaying putting it back due to overstretching in following month(s) too/its your usual monthly bills that you can't afford then, No. I couldn't see in your post where you've directly said the savings have all come from you

PrinnyPree · 12/02/2023 23:52

Yes my Mum needed to do this when I was about 7 or 8 years old, I think it was 3 figures (which was all my money) but she asked my permission and I said yes, maybe just to cover some bills till the end of the month. I remember to this day how proud it made me feel to be able to help my parents and loved the feeling of real grown up responsibility.

I think you should ask your DC, it was a profound moment for me to be able to help my family. X

MysteryBelle · 12/02/2023 23:52

Yes it’s fine and we’ve done the same.

MysteryBelle · 12/02/2023 23:53

PrinnyPree · 12/02/2023 23:52

Yes my Mum needed to do this when I was about 7 or 8 years old, I think it was 3 figures (which was all my money) but she asked my permission and I said yes, maybe just to cover some bills till the end of the month. I remember to this day how proud it made me feel to be able to help my parents and loved the feeling of real grown up responsibility.

I think you should ask your DC, it was a profound moment for me to be able to help my family. X

This is very sweet. Our dc also felt proud to help.

LoveBluey · 13/02/2023 00:01

caringcarer · 12/02/2023 23:47

I'd not take my children's money. Get a loan if you need money urgently. Why do you need it? What if you can't pay it back. Once you have gifted money to your child the money belongs to them. Are you even asking the children's permission or just going to take it? What if they say no or feel pressured to give you their money?

But a loan will have interest added so the family finances will be worse. It doesn't make sense when there are savings.

321user123 · 13/02/2023 00:04

Is this money you and your husband saved?

then absolutely yes (unless it’s for luxuries, that aren’t needed).

if it’s money other people contributed and again it’s not an unnecessary luxury, I’d probably ask them and take it from there.

Ask children… not if it’s your money..
the majority of people don’t have savings when they grow up so I feel indifferent to this. In fact, many ( including myself and husband) are their parents retirement plan!

Puppers · 13/02/2023 00:52

If this is money that you have saved and you genuinely need it for essential expenses (boiler, car repairs etc) then take it and replace it as soon as you possibly can. Obviously exhaust all other options first such as cutting spending. There's no point having money set aside for their futures if you can't provide the things they need in the present, like food in their bellies and a warm home.

If the money is DC's money that they have saved themselves then no you shouldn't take it. You should ask other adults for help first or try and access a loan or sell something.

I don't think it's appropriate to force the decision onto a child. It's a lot of pressure to make them responsible for what should be adult decisions about family finances and it's not as though they could easily say no anyway.

StClare101 · 13/02/2023 01:00

We have savings accounts for the kids but they don’t know it’s there. It will be a surprise for them when we feel they are mature enough to handle it. I wouldn’t hesitate to raid it if we were in dire straits.

Teaandtoast3 · 13/02/2023 01:37

Yes if you really need it. No if it’s a luxury thing you would like but can do without

ChatInMyFlat · 13/02/2023 01:49

Of course you should borrow it. It's not even there money until you give it to them.

SkyHippoOnACloud · 13/02/2023 02:16

kitcat15 · 12/02/2023 23:21

Don’t do it…it’s not yours to take…l.it’s wrong

If it wasn't theirs to take, they wouldn't be able to take it.

Do the DC even know this money exists OP? I'd use it, then look at the budgeting to see how you ended up in the situation

Pallisers · 13/02/2023 02:33

If you saved it for them, of course you can take it (I saved nothing in my children's names)

If it was christmas/birthday money from relatives that you can access, well then yes I would borrow it if it was absolutely necessary. You are a family unit. if you need the money to keep a necessary car on the road or heat the house or pay the rent, then it is all hands on deck. Nor would I ask my children (unless they were mid teens). Primary age children don't need to be told about financial crisises.

LadyJ2023 · 13/02/2023 02:54

A few years ago when me and my siblings were middle teens my parents joint bank account was fraudulently used and the bank froze it while it was investigated. Unfortunately in that account was all the bill,rent,car money etc etc. So my parents sat us down and asked it it was ok to borrow from a savings account they had for us just a month's worth for bills till there account was sorted. Of course none of us said no, there our parents we love them. Soon as there account was fixed they put the money they borrowed right back into our savings. But I know for a fact they would never have done that for a holiday or for fancy extras etc

deeperthanallroses · 13/02/2023 03:01

Do not listen to anyone saying get a loan instead!! You have savings for your dc because you want to support them in life. If it’s food or the rent or the boiler or needed new shoes etc you need money for now, then that’s a more important way to support your dc. I’d use it (I don’t have savings for the dc, if we can afford it when they are grown up we will help them out. I’m focussed on bringing them up as best as we can and building secure financial footage to be able to support them when they are adults.

SD1978 · 13/02/2023 03:26

If you saved it all yourselves, then absolutely. If it's been saved solely by someone else (grandparents) and they are aware of the savings, I'd explain the situation. If it's bits and bobs of Christmas money over the years from multiple sources, I'd use it. Then having a stable house over their head is more important now, than some money in the future.

FiveShelties · 13/02/2023 03:34

As long as you can repay it quickly and it is not for spending on going to the pub.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 13/02/2023 03:42

Of course you should use the money.

BananaSpanner · 13/02/2023 03:47

caringcarer · 12/02/2023 23:47

I'd not take my children's money. Get a loan if you need money urgently. Why do you need it? What if you can't pay it back. Once you have gifted money to your child the money belongs to them. Are you even asking the children's permission or just going to take it? What if they say no or feel pressured to give you their money?

Getting a loan and paying interest would be absurd when you could borrow this interest free.
The only factors for me would be who put the money in the savings account. Your money to start with- borrow without hesitation. Money saved by grandparents- I’d avoid unless I had permission from them.
Also, how old the kids are- if they young and won’t be touching it for a few years fine, but if they have plans for it themselves within a couple of years then I wouldn’t.