Are others really living a comfortable lifestyle or is it all smoke and mirrors?

[peanuts18]

Most people I know with children live in nice houses, have foreign holidays or new extensions, kitchens or new cars, eat out, days out to London or weekends away etc. How do they all afford it even a car on HP is several hundred a month?

I work part time (ds is only 7), oh works full time but is self employed so work can be a little up and down and no sick or holiday pay, have a fairly small mortgage (£600pm) but we really struggle. No savings, always in overdraft, no eating out, 1 cheap week to Spain in the last 15 years which set us back for months and months. I don’t smoke or drink and buy supermarket/primark clothes. No loans or car payments only a CC with about £1,000 on.

Am I missing something here as how do others do it or is it all smoke and mirrors and they are living on loans and credit cards, I really don’t get it??

Well how much do you earn a month? It's all about that isn't it.

This was where I got to.

I had to go to work when ds was in school as I was a single parent. PT working unless the other parent is a very high earner (in our neck of the woods they have to be) is a total luxury

I work part time (ds is only 7), oh works full time but is self employed so work can be a little up and down and no sick or holiday pay

There's your answer. The people you are talking about probably have two full-time salaries coming in.
I am self-employed and living alone. I also have no sick or holiday pay so have to manage income very carefully to ensure there is always a buffer. I have enough to live on but I am not as "comfortable" as people who are living together, sharing rent or mortgage and bills and who are salaried.

I totally get what the OP means. So many people with newish cars, annual holidays, massive house projects. Yes, some people can comfortably afford it of course, but all in all I think there's an awful lot of debt and not many savings out there personally!!

We can pay our bills, save a few hundred each a month, have an annual foreign holiday and a few other trips thorough the year. We buy generally what we want/need and both run reasonable but 6/8 year old cars.

If we were to do the extension we want, upgrade our cars or have a blow out toDisney Florida that would involve borrowing or using savings. And none of those things are important enough to me to do that. But other people would make different choices. I have a friend who does all those 'extra things' while moaning to me at work about the debt they're in, then lo and behold, one remortgage later and she's back spending again. Brain dead!

They make sacrifices and they hustle! Constantly learning, growing, progressing in their career, taking on side gig's, etc. Sitting back and working part time is the opposite of hustle. It's a choice.

The answer to this question is always that some of these people have more money than you for various reasons, some of them have much lower expenses, some of them have a combination of the two and some of them are fronting or doing it all on credit.

Also some of the things you mention aren't really a good indicator of money spent. Days out can be done on vouchers, clubcard points etc, people get memberships as presents. We do shitloads of days out on the cheap.

And property depends so much on age and when people happened to buy their first place. Costs have spiralled so much over the past couple of decades that even for people of the same age, a couple of years difference in when they brought their first home could have huge implications further down the line.

I work a 2nd job to afford the nice things you mention such as holidays.

There are only four options IMO:

• earn more
• credit
• inherited/other wealth source
• crime

or a combination.

Part time working when you have a 7 year old is probably your answer. That's a luxury very few can afford.

OP, I do think that in an ideal world children that age benefit in all sorts of ways from having a parent whose part-time hours mean they are around more for them. I think a whole family benefits really, and everyone ends up less stressed, the household is usually more organised and cleaner/tidier, maybe eats better etc etc. Schools and other organisations have more volunteer help available. It's more pleasant to shop at weekends when not all shopping has to be squashed into the weekend. Dentist and other appointments are easier to schedule. Elderly relatives are more likely to have some help available from their adult offspring, even if that's only emotional support rather than practical.

But unfortunately we seem to have fucked up our economy so much that we no longer have much choice in this and now to just to have a roof over your head takes 2 FT incomes. That usually leaves a little bit left over for the "luxuries" you talk of, OP, but with everything going up so much I'm not even sure 2 FT incomes will be able to afford those anymore eventually. With people having to retire later I'm not sure a lot companies will survive if they get no business during the week because we are all too busy working all the hours god sends just to pay for the basics of life.

People probably wonder how I afford things as I work in a supermarket and dh is a builder but I had a professional job earning a lot of money before having kids and builders make a lot more money than people might think. We have struggled in the past though so I do feel for you op.

it IS rich though... our combined income for a family of 5 is £24k.

Just because you spend it all doesnt mean you arent rich... millionairs and big lottery winner blow their money all the time they where still rich even if they where finacially useless.

We have a really nice posh car ( or it may seem that way) but we don’t own it, it’s my husbands company car and we have a big house in a nice street but it’s a total wreck inside, we thought we would do it up slowly but ran out of money pretty quickly! So you might look at us and think wow they have money but we don’t have a pot to piss in most of the time!

DH and I were in top 10% of income earned at one point. We bought in a cheap part of the country property wise. We also made some investments that paid out very well around 15 years ago so paid our mortgage off very early.

The median wage in the UK is currently 32k.

Honestly, the idea of somebody working part-time and complaining that others have more money than them is laughable.

I will also say that a lot of people have no idea what some jobs or companies pay. I manage a big team, predominately women in their 30s. They’re all professionals with lots of additional qualifications and on a minimum salary of £80k plus bonuses (c.15% most years). Those who have been there longer are on £100k+. They all have job titles that are very specific to our niche industry, so not really one where anybody would guess the salary.

I took six weeks off work when I had my DTs and got a nanny so I could graft in my business. Second hand everything. Retired at 52. Living a lovely life now thank you (still buying second hand). No credit ever. Bought house at 49. It's called deferred gratification.

Your child is ‘only’ 7 so you work part time? And they clearly all just earn more than you unsurprisingly if your child is 7 and you still work part time.

They earn more money. They have been earning this for years. They may have benefited from inheritances.

Our neighbours on both sides are in this position with lovely cars and holidays despite having very averagely paying jobs. We wondered how they were managing it and where we were going wrong. Found out in the pub one couple got a good inheritance from an uncle and the other has some family ‘help’ aka handouts!

All are lovely and kind people so we’re happy they’re comfortable but never compare ourselves and are careful of the lifestyle creep!

Some people put on finance that's pretty common around where I live especially with cars.

Others will have better paid jobs or just save elsewhere.
We go on holiday abroad but it's actually cheaper then a holiday in the UK we get last minute deals.
We also save in other areas no expensive haircuts or pampering, no makeup, clothes mostly second hand/vinted, we saved up for our car, food shop is kept on a tight leash, £5 phone contracts, packed lunches for work etc etc etc.

If you both sat down with your bank accounts and looked at the spending you might be surprised where you can save! Buying lunch each day is a easy one which can be a huge saving for instance

We both work full time in well paid jobs
no mortgage
no loans/car loans
we don’t even have credit cards to be honest.
part time = less money so if you want more then you know what to do @peanuts18

Op do you understand how credit works? You need to have the income to get the credit in the first place so no of course it’s not smoke and mirrors. Just you’re a,low income family as you only work part time and your husband doesn’t earn enough to keep you out of your over draft.

im Really surprised you can’t see it. They earn more than you. It’s very simple.

Those of us with money do not need to buy cars on HP

I would disagree plenty still do because they want the latest model in 3 years time!

@AlwaysGinPlease I think that’s a good point in this case but part time doesn’t always mean poorer as many here are implying.

part time can be great if your money is working for you (investments, rentals, employees etc)

Lots of posters are focusing on bottom line savings (eBay etc) but just as important is top line growth! It’s a mindset and I realise this sounds obnoxious but I think it’s true. I don’t come from money and my instinct is to save and scrap. People in my life who grew up with more often think quite differently and make different decisions.