Are others really living a comfortable lifestyle or is it all smoke and mirrors?

[peanuts18]

Most people I know with children live in nice houses, have foreign holidays or new extensions, kitchens or new cars, eat out, days out to London or weekends away etc. How do they all afford it even a car on HP is several hundred a month?

I work part time (ds is only 7), oh works full time but is self employed so work can be a little up and down and no sick or holiday pay, have a fairly small mortgage (£600pm) but we really struggle. No savings, always in overdraft, no eating out, 1 cheap week to Spain in the last 15 years which set us back for months and months. I don’t smoke or drink and buy supermarket/primark clothes. No loans or car payments only a CC with about £1,000 on.

Am I missing something here as how do others do it or is it all smoke and mirrors and they are living on loans and credit cards, I really don’t get it??

We both work full time! We see lots of our kids as work so flexibly but we choose to work full time so we don’t have to worry about money and can go on holidays and days out.
you need to earn more?

Its also hugely based on priorities - SIL said that in September she spent £240 on ASOS alone.

Whereas I've just bought DS winter coat on EBay for £2.99, it is from NEXT and is immaculate - went online and to buy new would have been £38, I don't see the point when it does the exact same job.

What your friends have is lovely holidays, new cars etc and you have chosen is more free time and your dh does not a secure and steady income but lots of self direction. It’s just different life choices

You don’t see what they’re not spending. We’ve got school age children, but are old enough to have graduated without significant student loans and bought our first house in the 90s. We cleared the bulk of the mortgage before kids and are now mortgage free. We don’t drive either (not a financial decision, but does save a lot), and don’t spend on stuff like beauty treatments. We’re not counting pennies for anything we want to spend our money on.
To anyone external, it looks like our income is higher than it is, but it’s because our essential outgoings are low so we can afford lots of discretionary spending.

What don't you understand? You chose not to work full time, your husband chose to be self employed with unsteady income, you have more free time and flexibility and as a result you have less money.

It's called living beyond means
Not necessarily? People have very different means, you know.

People make a lot of assumptions about work. So what work people do and what it pays. Especially when wfh wasn’t common - so assuming not working or bit of a job when actually working ft in professional role.
Lots have an extra job on side my DH’s now job started as a sideline on top
of day job - used to pay for our hols.
Inheritance or grandparents paying for things - full school uniform, clubs etc.
Lots don’t use groupon, Tesco vouchers, hot uk deals etc.
Buying used not new eg cex for electronics.
Holidays - again lots of assumptions. We go to Florida all booked diy. Don’t pay anything like what you’d pay virgin holidays. Lots of people use family apartments etc.
Lack of eating and drinking out, no takeaways. So my day trip would be paid for with a groupon and take a picnic costs £20 - looks same as trip costing £100 (pay on day and buying fast food)
Taking own food and drink to work and school. DD has friends buying a meal deal etc daily, she takes a sandwich & apple saving £20 + a week.
Weekends away are actually work for one so minimal expense - been to lots of conferences etc, no charge or minimal for spouse to go. Looks like I’m having a spa weekend etc which I am but not ££.

Yes age too. No student loans (tuition was free, dh even got a grant!). Bought first home 2000.

I really do think it’s just making more money and being as frugal as you can. Dh and I collectively earn probably about £100k. We never had a car on finance until last year (we’re early 40s). It’s £185 pcm. We rented forever, worked flexibly to save on childcare (still do). Rent was about £900-1100 a month. We managed to save about £150k in 10 years and finally bought our first house last year. It’s a very lovely house with land and a view. But it’s really just making money, a bit of inheritance as we both lost a parent young, and saving for years and years.

Furniture. I’ve never bought new from a shop always from a furniture outlet or eBay. Our natuzzi sofa was new but half price so several thousand pounds less, was a discontinued model or colour. Dining table is made.com but came from a mill in Bradford reselling customer returns.

We are not well off but we can afford to do a bit more as we both work full time and have most of our children's lives.

Seriously this just annoys me. £100k is rich. Of course you do not need a car on finance. We are not stupid, we all know it is cheaper to buy a car outright.
And I would have saved way more than you on those earnings.

The effect of having been on the property market early is huge. The mortgage we took out for our first house was under 100k. That house is now valued at almost 600k.

I disagree. Many people are comfortable because they have a high household income. That doesn't mean they're working long hours though, they might have skills that people are prepared to pay a lot of money for and only need to work part time

£100k between two adults isn't that well off. DP and I collectively earn £110k but between him having to pay for therapy @ £100 per hour, extortionate London rent and being in the middle of buying a flat we don't actually have lots of money to throw around. The car (his, I don't own one but go halves on insurance, petrol, parking, car tax etc) is 18 years old. We pay £50-60ish per week on groceries.

If your current income covers your outgoings then once you increase your (after deductions/expenses) the extra income is all disposable - as long as you don't give in to lifestyle creep.

If your household can increase your take home by £500 a month that's 6k a year. A lavish holiday abroad or a couple of uk ones with change for a savings pot. That's an amount you might be able to earn by working weekends in retail for example. However you might prefer to not give up your weekends and not have the extra money. If you or your husband could earn more without such an impact on your homelife even better.

sicklycolleague
100k not a high income? Away you go!!

Get fed up with being told I'm a lucky "baby boomer", yes we had a mortgage of £35k in the 80s,it had crittal metal single glazed windows. We re mortgaged to do work,my ex H was earning £80 per week, cleaning at Gatwick. He started his own cleaning company, earned £30k,lost all his contracts,I had 4 jobs,full time, plus 3 extra, to try and keep the house.... failed,it was repossessed. Mortgage rate was 16%.

Sorry doesn't mean they're rich it depends what your life is like. Some people have won millions on the lottery and pissed it up the wall in 3 years purely because they can't manage money

So many different things!
some people have higher salaries, some people get 100% free childcare from families whilst others have to fork out for nursery or wraparound care, some people are gifted hefty house deposits from their parents or in-laws, some bought their houses for less money, some people have a lot of stuff on finance or credit so ‘appear’ to be more comfortable. There’s a million different variables

We have an extravagant life. Both work full time and run a business on the side. I'd say I do about 50-60 hours a week, DH does 70 hours. We have a joint income of about £200k. We have delayed children to build this up, once we decide on kids we will halt, work part time and live off investments and salary and cut back.

they’re still the same 12 year olds who told me to sit with them at lunch on my first day, when I didn’t know a soul, and they’d been friends since Nursery.

That's so lovely, made me smile.

I agree ! It's about planning for what you want in the future and how you want your life to be .👍

Of course they are if they have lots of help from the previous generation. I seem to be surrounded by such lately. Such people never know how good they have it though.

I'd like to add to my post. Both DH and I could afford fancy cars. But my car is 16 years old and his car is 12 years old. Both run perfectly. The term 'old banger' doesn't fit. My car cost £3k, his £2.2k. Both pass MOTs first time, an Audi and BMW. We maintain them well, shopped around, bought from private sellers, were careful. So you can get decent cars that last a long time without it being an old banger.