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August Always Adds Pocket Pressure, Frugal Friends Thrive Thriftily

996 replies

Wolfcub · 03/08/2020 17:44

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51
lifelongfrugaleer · 01/09/2020 07:00

Rubbish night sleeps here stressing over whether or not to actually bother painting or just clean and declutter.

£26 cleaner today plus small wants to get wedding stuff so pop into town.

ememem84 · 01/09/2020 07:31

unescorted it is beautiful. I’m so lucky to live here. On a stormy day the lighthouse is spectacular. Waves crashing all over. Amazing.

Bornlazy · 01/09/2020 07:57

DS's result is negative so back to school for him. Think he was hoping he'd miss today too as they said it could take 48 hours.

Mrsmadevans · 01/09/2020 08:07

Morning everyone 😀
Thank you all for the MumBob love ❤️🤗
Yes l think it's a permanent state of affairs . My siblings are vile about it , really really horrible. Causing rows with Mum on the phone , brother ringing her up 2 weeks ago drunk and telling her that 'Bob is not my Father , only one father l have , l'm not ringing or speaking or visiting you again. I've finished with you' . Mum was very upset over it all as you can imagine. Mum has been at Bob's for 6 months and he has used the excuse that he doesn't want to visit her at Bob's he wants to see her at her own home. The truth being he has hardly visited my parents at their own home and he lives a stone's throw away from her and 6 miles from Bob. He couldn't even be bothered to visit my Dad at home the day he died while we were waiting hours for the ambulance, he's always been drunken ,foul mouthed, aggressive , violent, selfish and boastful. He's been spoiled by my Mum and Dad , forgiven everything, given everything and this is the result. A monster.
My sister has visited Mum 3 x in 6 months. She lives a stone's throw from Mum and 6 miles from Bob . We live 6 miles away from Mum and 16 from Bob. My sister & her DH called in last. Saturday. She despatched her DH down the garage with Bob and set on Mum. She questioned Mum about her money, how was l paying the window cleaner and the gardener. I had 200 pounds off Mum for my birthday and l have been using that because it was too much. She gave the others 100 so l used the 100 for that and therefore had the same as them. She previously to this has been in complete control of Mum's money and it has been hard for Mum to spend her money as she likes. My sister has coersive control over her really. I realise that now. She provoked Mum about Bob and my Dad and Mum lost her temper and told her to never come to Bob's again, here comes her DH & Bob from the garage , my sister changes completely icily calm and normal do that Bob and Her DH don't know anything, this is what has been happening all the time. When my Dad died l paid for the death certs because we needed about 8 and l didn't think it was right for them to pay for their own death certs , l did the same with my Mother in law it just didn't seem right to me so l paid for them. My Mum wanted to help her friend who is dying, go on holiday for probably the last time so we decided to say Mum had paid me the death certs money so she could give her friend the money to stop any rows. I think it was about £120 in all . I am NC with my Brother and sister . I have been since l realised the strangle hold my sister had on the family. It's been very difficult for me and l have felt so sad and missed her and guilty because l blamed myself but l just couldn't put up with it anymore and l really think my DH would have had a breakdown over the continued pressure. I gave my job up (early retirement) to look after my parents , my Dad died a year after and my Mum is now with Bob. We go every day to look after them 32 mile round trip. I can't believe how awful my siblings are and l can't even talk to them about their behaviour because they provoke me and then l get angry then l am the crazy aggressive person . I went fully NC and blocked my sister on all Social media 2 weeks ago , previously to that l left messenger open in case l needed to contact her over Mum. Since lockdown l realised she doesn't care about Mum , had washed her hands of any responsibility towards her and l don't need to keep communications open. Sorry to bother you with all this but it's very cathartic to vent thank you everyone so much , am off to MumBobs in a few mins , hope everyone is ok and the DC are ok in school 💐

Mrsmadevans · 01/09/2020 08:10

@Bornlazy

DS's result is negative so back to school for him. Think he was hoping he'd miss today too as they said it could take 48 hours.
AHH bless him but so glad he is ok 🤗💐
ememem84 · 01/09/2020 08:40

@Mrsmadevans sorry things are so crazy.

I don’t have experience with a “mumbob” as both my parents are still around and together. However. Dh does. Fils gf is a nightmare. She literally stepped into mils place in the house. She’s inserted herself into dh’S history (talks about holidays “they” had when he was a kid etc) and speaks to him as if she’s his mother. It’s awful.

For that reason (not that reason alone) Dh doesn’t see Fil much.

From what you’ve said though bob hasn’t tried to replace ddad. It’s a companionship thing for mumbob and given Covid etc I think it’s a good thing they’re together.

Personally I think your bro and sis are out of order here. Stay strong.

ememem84 · 01/09/2020 08:41

I’m not sure if I mentioned this last week or not but ds has moved up to pre-school today. Nursery think he’s more than ready to go to the next stage so off he’s gone. 😀👍🏻

Unescorted · 01/09/2020 08:48

Mrs that is a really tough situation. It sounds as if your Bro & Sis are worried they won't get the inheritance they think they deserve and that MumBob are having a whale of a time (as they should) spending "their" inheritance money. You can't change that - your Mum has to deal with her children. It sounds as if she is standing up to them and that is causing them more angst.

life given the choice clean and declutter would be my go to. I left the decorating until the wall paper was peeling and plaster falling off the walls.

Speaking of …. off to don gloves and splash the sugar soap. I have the really grim bit of wallpaper stripping from above the kitchen cupboards to look forward to. Spiders and grease...my fave!

Unescorted · 01/09/2020 08:50

em soooooo exciting! He will love it. My kids really blossomed when they got there.

Mrsmadevans · 01/09/2020 09:01

AHH thank you so much Em 💐
Lovely for your Ds to me be up its exciting for him bless his heart 🤗 your Fil Gf sounds insecure and a bit ott as if she can't fit in . MumBob to their credit haven't done anything like that . It's simply company and kindness and support. Thank you Em and everyone the support off you all here is just wonderful ❤️

ememem84 · 01/09/2020 09:50

Excitement. Just found out Homebase deliver here. This is a game changer.

howlathebees · 01/09/2020 10:33

Hi everyone, just wanted to pop in to say I’m going to be taking a bit of a social media break. I’m struggling to balance normal life and still spending quality time with the kids and DH. Especially now DS1 is off to school and routine has resumed. So I might not be in for a while but just wanted to let everyone know so you weren’t wondering where I’d gone.

lifelongfrugaleer · 01/09/2020 10:57

Keep popping back howl but I understand.

Having a bad anxiety day here.

Mrs your siblings are twats

howlathebees · 01/09/2020 13:43

I definitely will life it probably won’t be for long tbh I always end up coming back. But I just have so much to sort out and a routine to settle into so I’m going to focus on that. I might still post just not be as active!

Just want to say mrs your siblings sound awful, that’s horrible of them to behave that way

Bornlazy · 01/09/2020 14:15

Hope you're ok life. You are always so busy is the potential house move stressing you out?

Mrs it's hard when your doing all the work and someone is trying to cause unrest behind the scenes. Let them crack on. You don't need their approval. You are doing your very best for your mum and Bob and at the end of the day that's all that counts.

ememem84 · 01/09/2020 14:23

Stressful day here. Currently sat in garden in the sun waiting for turf man to make an appearance. And also waiting for furniture from next. Any time between 730an and 8pm apparently. Tough life!

Lovemaltesers · 01/09/2020 14:31

Flowers mrs you do so much

Moving house almost finished me off life, hope you are ok

DP is going to love me (not!). Whilst he’s at work, I’ve started decorating the downstairs toilet. I do all the fiddly bits, but I’ve left him the rolling of the bigger bits and the high bits (as I’m too short even on a ladder). You’d love to come home to this right? 😂 I don’t hope for it to be done until the weekend...

I need to see if I can order a better brush from amazon

DC hair looks amazing after their overdue cuts. £31.

Lovemaltesers · 01/09/2020 14:41

I’m using leftover paint from when we decorated DD2s room. It’s been on the to do list since before lockdown, and I decided I couldn’t start term without having done it. We’ve done so little to the house over lockdown and then the summer holidays. You guys are inspiring me with your DIY!

lifelongfrugaleer · 01/09/2020 17:34

Howl. If you pm me I have some 7-8 waterproof trouser I'm happy to send

Written lots of lists, got a project plan, made lots of phone calls, got my thought in order so feel much better,
£31 paint shop.

lifelongfrugaleer · 01/09/2020 17:34

Thanks all

Bornlazy · 01/09/2020 17:35

Love the fiddly bits are the worst bits so I reckon he'll be very pleased to have just the easy bits to do Wink

Car is in the garage and it's going to be expensive to repair. We were undecided whether to keep it or get a newer one but the cost of second hand cars seems to have skyrocketed so repair it is. Hopefully I'll get another year out of it and then I might get a better deal. My back suspension has gone the mechanic told dh he'd never seen anything like it as the spring was literally in bits 🙈 No more keeping my entire Brexit/Covid stash of tins and pulses weighing about a tonne using it to store a few excess food items. I'm sure it was on its way out before that anyway...

Unescorted · 01/09/2020 19:17

howl sometimes a break is needed.

born I have been shunting boxes of tins and pasta around at the food bank - I feel for your car. Wink

Life hope you are feeling a bit better now.

I have had a busy day - stripping more wallpaper, sugar soaping, directing radiator sanding, cleaning the really really gross cupboard tops, short walk, food bank (took ages - empty 6 quarantine boxes and filled another 5) and put supper on. Dh got up about 11ish, popped to the shop to pick up a tin of paint, same walk as me - and he is now having a nap. I wish he spent less time on social media. Hmm

lifelongfrugaleer · 01/09/2020 20:15

I would certainly grumble at you love.

Lovemaltesers · 01/09/2020 20:20

Sorry life

DP took the decorating rather well and seems enthusiastic 😂

lifelongfrugaleer · 01/09/2020 20:25

Send him this way love Grin the washing up is being countered at here

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