Frugal Friends, planning, saving and considerate spending through July and August

[Wolfcubisthefemalenominal]

New Fred frugal friends

Lap fantastic news about dd & secondary school R's gotten so big

Em C is also super cute

Wolf glad contact went well but bummer about child support

Only up to date on this thread up to mon morn, had no internet while glamping

Hope this morning is better em. It's tough to live with angry stressey people.

Good time happier?

My kettle is broken. Got the camping one on the stove.

Dh is up and is making breakfast. I can hear eggs.

I totally understand that he may be stressed at work. But no reason to take it out on anyone else. Because it’s not our fault. We didn’t make you stressed. Especially don’t take it out on ds. I’ve told him he needs to leave things at work. He gets annoyed with me when I even mention work when we’re at home( leave work at work etc don’t bring work home why do you need to check emails on the way to work etc) but it’s all I hear from him now. How rubbish his job is, how shit everyone he works with, how the company expects too much. Which would explain why there are so many leaving and why they’re not able to recruit. But that’s not my fault.

When he called me lazy yesterday (because I said I’d had a lie down in the afternoon) I pointed out that I’m growing a person so need all the energy I can muster, and also noted all the other things that I had done and the fact that there are still jobs waiting to be done that he promised would get done while he had his week off. Most of the jobs are still waiting. And a lot of them need to be done before baby arrives. And I can’t do them (second rail in wardrobe, wardrobe moved upstairs, move spare bed to make room for cot etc). He hasn’t had time.

Anyway.

I’m largely ignoring it now. Told him not to blame me for his failings, and have told him to think about how he communicates with people. Especially us. Because he can be dismissive and rude. And then wonders why people think he’s dismissive and rude...

I’ve told him he needs to organise himself. And I won’t be doing it for him. If I can manage to organise myself he can too. I’m more than happy to do laundry and make sure things are clean. But I’m not packing bags for him. Or reminding him to put protein powder in his lunchbox for after the gym. He is a grown ass man not a child.

Dr for me today. 38 week appointment. Am so so ready to pop the baby out now. And apart from that nsd planned. I need to find my stat maternity pay form too and complete and send in. It’s around here somewhere - probably Giles away somewhere safe.

*filed

Social worker visit today thanks to h’s latest. Luckily after a bit of faff we are getting the previous one. Who we like. Trying to work and pack for hols and tidy up all at the same time

Em good luck at the docs and well done for telling dh to get a grip. H used to lose things daily and make us late, get cross. It drove me mental as I am very organised. I am trying to train it out of ds now because I can’t stand the thought of someone else having to put up with that level of hopeless

Em it sounds suspiciously like a bit of jealousy

about you bring on 'leave'. I'm sure my dh thought ML was all swanning around having naps and coffee. I'd like to see them try surviving solo newborn + all the extras we do!
You're doing a fab job - sounds like you're being super productive too! Good luck with docs appointment today x

Morning
Life it was great we palled up with another mother & her daughter so dc & I both had company for days out & dinners & someone to fall back on to go to toilet or shower alone
Toilets were 0.3km round trip away from our pod which was incredibly annoying especially during the night

Dc are glued to tv this morning after not having access to one since last Sat!

Payday today so off to check bank account. Ddad gave me €200 for holiday spends which really helped. Last nights hotel & dinner went on credit card but I thought I'd be putting more on it.

DD's sandals that I bought on Sunday have broken already so returning them tomo.

Mentioned buying picnic rucksack when I was leaving dm's & she had a two person one that she'd won in a raffle & was planning to give to charity so I picked up an extra plastic plate & glass for €9 vs €35 for 4 person picnic rucksack & it's perfect

That sounds great Happier, so glad you had a good time.
Sil & family arrived late so I was asleep by then. Day off today, lots to do. Dd finishes school today so may go out this afternoon. GP appointment with ds shortly.

Thanks guys.

That’s largely it I think. He sees this maybe as a holiday for me. Despite what I’ve got to do - get a person out of me, look after said new person as well as ds, and recover. He absolutely wouldn’t cope with ds alone for a week. He can barely manage a day. This doesn’t make him a bad dad. Just unorganised. He says when he has ds alone he can’t eat. So he (dh) starves. This is because ds wants our food all the time. I solve this by eating the same as ds. At the same time. So if he wants mine I have his. #smart

Dropped dh at work (late) and ds at nursery. Am now in dr waiting room. Waiting. 😂

How did your appt go Em?

Jesus wept £103 Sainsbury's on fuck all. New kettle was £25. £74.50 3 days childcare for summer. £49 filling the car up.

Apt was all good thanks wolf

Baby’s heartbeat good. Dr sent away my sample of pee (although she said it looks fine apparently they send away the 38 week pee for further testing in case there’s anything which dr can’t detect which may mean early delivery).

My fingers have started to swell up a bit but dr not concerned at this stage as so far along.

Baby not even a little bit engaged. Ffs. But dr told me not to worry about it as sometimes with the second one they just go all the way when they’re ready.

£20.02 on petrol today.

Picked a ton of runner beans from the garden and have made chickpea and runnerbean curry for dinner. Put a bit too much chilli in it. So it had a bit of a kick. Yum though!!

Conversation with my dh tonight... (we're getting ready to go camping - seriously why does preparing take longer than the actual camping trip?!)
DH: I don't want to be too late tonight packing the car
Me: no, nor me. Let's get the camping box out and give it a sort through...
5 minutes later when I'm elbow deep in the camping box after discovering a bottle of cooking oil had leaked so everything has to be taken out and washed I realise dh is watching a video on his phone
Me: I thought you wanted to get this done quickly?
DH: (completely seriously and innocently) I thought my job was to pack the car? 🤦‍♀️
Yes dear, you just watch videos whilst you wait for me to sort the oily mess, prep and pack the food, pack the kids clothes plus a number of wholesome activities to keep them busy on a soggy tent. Il be as quick as I can as I don't want to keep you waiting... 😂

madden sounds familiar....

Ds is now in bed with me. He just woke up crying. No idea why. And I cba to sit on the floor/lie on the floor in his room and try and get him back to sleep. He’s lying on bed next to me in his sleep bag. Catface is at his feet purring away. He’s gone straight back to sleep. #mumwin

Hope ds slept through Em. I have been awake for hours. Churning brain and full of cold. Need to try and pack today, get df a birthday present and work. Not sure how that’s all going to work to be honest
Madden hope dh helped in the end

He did wolf. I am seemingly now only sleeping in 2 hour bursts. Eugh. But ds slept through. So that’s all good.

I’m with ds all day today. Although am still taking him to my parents because I can’t manage him alone right now.

We’re going to do a food shop with them (fun!) and then maybe go for a pub lunch. Then maybe go swimming/beach this afternoon.

Yes, he bucked up his ideas in the end! Tbf, on Sunday when we're packing down in the pouring rain, there's no doubt il be sitting in the car claiming I have to keep an eye on the children 😂 ... swings and roundabouts!

Interesting morning. Dh left his keys on top of the car.

Luckily someone driving behind us spotted them and flashed me (I was driving using my keys) and when the traffic had stopped he grabbed them and knocked on the window and passed them in.

Dh couldn’t accept he’d made a mistake and constantly leaves his keys in ridiculous places. It’s everyone else’s fault. Mine for having the remote key for the car and not the manual key (we switched when ds was born because it was easier for me). Apparently if dh had the remote key he wouldn’t lose his keys so often. yeah right I’ve suggested we switch the keys back. although it won’t help

I also suggested he pulls his finger out and actually get organised and make sure he doesn’t lose stuff etc. Apparently there are too many distractions and it’s really difficult for him at present. I asked how he thinks everyone else copes with life.

I'm home from Portugal now. Arrived home to a massive thunderstorm. We had so much rain this evening that one of the local roads is flooded . Anyway, we had a lovely relaxing week away. We went to the pool for a swim most days. Dad and DSis insisted on paying for a day trip to a theme park and a cruise on a catamaran. We had breakfast and lunch in our apartment most days but we ate out every evening. Eating out in Portugal is a lot cheaper than Ireland. They serve up bread with sardine pate and olives at the start of each meal and we liked the sardine pate so much that we smuggled some tins back in our liquids bag. I may have overdosed on custard tarts also.

I bought a beautiful hand painted plate which now occupies pride of place on my dining table. I also bought a cute owl ornament. I'm trying to replace 'our' things with 'my' things, if that makes sense. But obviously I can't afford to replace the furniture .

DD has gone to Ex's for the weekend. I'm having a quiet night in and watching a recorded episode of Inspector Montalbano. I need to nip down to the shops and pick up some bread and milk, before it gets too late.

Hope you're all well. I'll catch up on your news tomorrow.

Welcome back Tayto, glad you had a great time

Em honestly I can’t believe he blamed you for that, that is ridiculous. Does he even get how silly he sounds?

Tayto I get the replacing things. I’ve got rid of of hidden a lot of shared things and bought s few things of my own. I think the first was new cushions

H asked if he could come to the house whilst we were away to look for some stuff. I’ve said no. I do not want him in my house

Gosh, emotional day as DD left primary school. I'm soft as, I am
Nsd though

@Taytocrisps oh god. Portuguese custard tarts are one of my weaknesses

@Wolfcubisthefemalenominal no I don’t think he does realise his ridiculous he sounds.

Spent the day with ds and dparents (for back up). We did a trip to Waitrose. Ds apparently loves food shopping. 😂 dh asked me yesterday to get cooking mozzarella. I told him to remind me today (as he always gets me to remind him for stuff). He didn’t. I bought some anyway. When we got back to dparents after the shop, I videos ds “helping” to unpack the shopping. This involved selecting something from the bag. Holding it lovingly, then running the length of the kitchen screeching and handing it to Dm. Then Dm told him he was a good boy and such a good helper. And repeat. I sent said video to dh. Who said “oh when you go to the shop can you get mozzerella” (a bit late after the event...) if I hadn’t wanted pizza for tea I wouldn’t have bothered buying it

I spent £16 in Waitrose - mozerella, Austrian smoked cheese, strong cheddar, tiramisu for pudding today, salami for pizza, seedy wraps, red pepper humous and pop chips.

Then took dparents and ds to the pub for lunch. Three mains (ds shared some of ours) three desserts (ds had one of his own) two pints, two halves of beer, two pints of black currant and lemonade (my fave non alcoholic pub drink!) £60.25 plus points on my pub card. 😀👍🏻

Went back to dparents after lunch so ds could nap (could have driven home but figured their place was closer and he’d get a bigger nap as we’d have to drive back their way to pick dh up from work).

I was also sent to bed for a sleepy. 2 hours!! Absolute bliss. 😊

Picked dh up from work. 20 minutes late (him not me). He got caught up with something apparently. No apology. Just a “what’s wrong with ds?” Who was at this point getting twitchy because we’d been waiting 20 mins. Pointed out the 20 mins and no contact and that I’d waited 5 minutes longer than I normally would. No thanks. No sorry.

We’ve had words this evening. Not angry shouty words. I’ve just said how shit it is to be treated like crap. And how I can’t organise him. He’s a grown ass man. He copes at work. He should be able to cope at home. And asked him how he’d cope if I wasn’t around (ie if I had to stay in hospital for a few days after birth). He has no idea. Told him to think on it and to Work out how he’s going to cope without me doing everything for him. I’ve told him He needs to take responsibility for his things, the tasks he does, and his time. Everyone else seems to manage.

Also pay day today. Woooop. Penultimate full payday for me for 2019.

Baby update. No baby yet. 38+5. Sigh.

Quick late sign in.

Been busy few days here with work and life, we're enjoying having my dads dog here and he's been a good boy on the whole 🐶

Taking dd to meet her puppy tomorrow,I'm amazed I've kept it a secret and am so excited to see her face!!

Ystd spent about £8 in the co op, £6 off that was a bottle for of wine for dds form tutor, the rest on yellow labels!

Today gave dd £3 to get some sweets to take into school for her last day of year 8!

Em I'm a bit worried about how your dh I s going to cope when you add a new born into the mix?! He really needs to grow up.

Tayto I'm so glad you had a good holiday, it sounds amazing!