Spending sparingly in early Spring - frugal friendly folk gather round.

[Justanothermile]

New 'fred

NSD today. DH bought a few groceries though.
Both DC coughing and DD still awake (very late for her), so hoping it won't be a disturbed night.
That's terrible @WreckTangled; it seems so wrong that you have to pay it back when it's your employer that make the mistake. Sounds like everyone else is making good suggestions; my only one would be to ask if you could do anything with your food budget? You said £80 a week, which seems a little high, as I've read your meal plans and you don't seem to eat a great deal of meat or otherwise expensively. Feel free to ignore me though, we are complete carnivores so I may be very wrong on food costs.

I would love to get our food budget down but I really struggle! The dc eat lots of fruit and dh and I like nice coffee (that doesn't cost loads though!). I'll spend about £60 in Aldi and then the rest in Tesco. The food budget includes all toiletries and cleaning products too. Also if there's anything left of the food/fuel budget I tend to use that for spinning so I don't have to pay out of my own account

So irritated tonight. Me and DH have separate finances - well we pay the bills together and then our left over is ours. This suits me fine as I earn more and DH is terrible with money.

Anyway he goes to various clubs every week. Every time 'have you got any money in your purse - I've left it too late to go to cashpoint' etc etc. So he gets a tenner because I'm organised and get cash out and then I have to badger him for it back and ultimately never see it again. So have started saying I haven't got any. Tonight said 'I don't think so' so he said 'well I'll just look' and before I know it he's walking off with another tenner.

Sorry it's just really pissed me off tonight and I haven't got anyone else to talk to. Last week asked him to go get some milk (which I don't even use) 'oh I've got no money on me'. So give him a fiver - never saw any change even though I reminded him twice so 4 pints of milk cost me £5.

I know it's pathetic but I could just cry sometimes.

wreck what a nightmare but definitely not your fault. I can't add anything, except does this mean you should've been paying a lower rate of NI or pension? (I guess this may have been taken into account in the amount you've been told you need to pay back.) Glad dh is stepping up.

Ggreen what an arse. Do you need cash yourself? He didn't need cash for milk he could have paid with his card! Maybe if you do need it you could hide it... yes should be due a tax rebate etc but it won't be much.

I need some cash weekly for things like the dog walker and DS's lunches - also pisses me off I have to pay all of these things as I'm the only one ever to be able to get cash out. I've started asking if he's got any money towards the lunches but I get the old pocket patting. That's an extra £40 a month I'm paying on my own.

Sorry grey I got your usernames muddled. What about if you added those expenses (dog walker and ds lunch) to the joint account spends and both put in the extra to cover it then you took the money from that account? Obviously doesn't help with him asking for cash but would mean it doesn't all come down to you

greyhound that would make me sad too, I'd do what wreck says. I'm no expert but think about why it upsets you: is it to do with trust ?or your hard earned cash being wasted ? or other reasons and when you feel super calm tell him. Otherwise I guess he's just going to carry on. Take control grey

That would really piss me off. Dh asks me if I have cash but if I say no he doesn't then go in my purse to get it.

I will say we have to up the joint although he doesn't really agree with having a dog walker 🙄.

I think it's the fact that I'm so careful with my money and he just grabs at it. I track everything and then I lose £20 with his 'borrowing'. I think also the fact that I'm left at home looking after DS and he's off out on his jollies using my money to fund it!

Greyhound don't blame you for being pissed off. What is wrong with these men?? They need to take some responsibility, grrrrr.
Dh has taken dd to a concert in Manchester tonight. I've got a riveting cricket club meeting to go to & have just taken ds & his friend to winter training. The weather is yuk.
Not too many spends this week which is good after the weekend. Washing line dried yesterday, no chance today!

I'd have an empty purse and store the money elsewhere grey

Glad things are looking better wreck. Still sounds stressful though

I can't remember who mentioned about loving to have another DC. I'm another one on the fence here. Think I've decided no for now, but not completely ruled it out

Welcome to all the newbies

I don't post much at the moment as I am "meant" to be writing assignments and failing miserably

wreck can you try just “using it up” for a while re toiletries? No other helpful things here really.

Picked up my baby vouchers from coop. Yay.

Went to the gym. Yay!!! And have come home done two loads of laundry. Dh is doing a food shop. Catface is lounging on the couch watching master chef.

Me too love. Cash would be elsewhere for a bit or less going to joint account.

I think Love’s plan is a good one. I used to struggle to get stbexdh to increase his direct debit to the joint account but he always always had money for his hobby. It used to boil my piss

Have you done a bank account switch recently wreck? Some you can get money on not vouchers but would take a few weeks so not instant

Really need to join - i did so well in January, not a no spend month but compared to my usual spending levels massively lower and i saved so much money or rather filted the money onto a holiday rather than bits and bobs. Since February started ive gradually got worse again and those morning costa trips just popping to Mcdonalds or whatever has come back so need to zap them am deffo spending less money on clothes etc though.

Oh one thing dh and i do is i 'invoice' him for everything he owes me as his gym car goes out of my account and hes never got cash so he tells me to put it on his invoice and he pays it monthly. Could you do that?

Wreck you are completely not shit, you are trying to make the best of an awful situation which was not caused by you. Please, please take some of the advice on here and ask around to see if anyone can help you, and do approach your union for help - you don't have to be a member. Are there any grants you could apply for? Have a look at grants-search.turn2us.org.uk/

That would drive me insane too Greyhound - if you can do try not having as much cash on you/ hiding it! - I am very much a cards person but do find that only having cash helps me keep better track of spending. As you know I'm a SAHM so can't really moan that DP doesn't share costs, but it does very much annoy me that when I go out maybe once a month to meet friends for a coffee, he'll complain that I'm spending £5..... then he goes down the pub at least once a week and spends £££

sportinguista you can often pick up breadmakers for £10 on Facebook/ ebay/ local charity shops which also sell furniture (I have my eye on one at the moment!)

£10.89 spend for me today, £8 on a music group which the DC were little horrors at, £2.89 at Sainsburys where DS2 threw an enormous tantrum can you tell it's been a challenging day?!

Ruby I don't think I would be eligible for any of those grants. On paper we look ok but paying for my car and our current loan (£430 all together) is what gets us. Dh paying the amount I owe will help massively he just needs to get the money from him boss we will be fine.

Em no stash of toiletries here

Love no because we've always been in our overdraft! Think we're finally out of it though so will look at thAt again.

Welcome just

Wreck there was a useful piece on switching in Martin Lewis’s newsletter yesterday. The time for bumper deals is running out and there is advice for those who may need and overdraft

Greyhound that's stealing and not okay, I would be having a stern word and then billing him for the money. What he is doing isn't fair or right. If my dd did that I'd go mad 😡

Need to get ready for work now!

Hi guys, still here, just having a crazy busy week.

Am spending a fair bit on dd3's birthday at the weekend...my poly tunnel has arrived, so need to shuffle money around as well.

wreck it will all work out fine my love. Keep smiling.

Sounds like you have a good grip on your food budget @wreck. I think as simple pleasures go, decent coffee made at home is a very justifiable one! Great that DH has overtime coming to cover it.

Greyhound this morning I have found that DP has taken all the milk to work AGAIN!! Second morning this week! I even bought extra after last time and he's had the lot

He drives past a shop which sells milk and could have bought his own but no.....

Not quite as annoying as taking actual money but still, grrrr!

£2 spent already today on World Book Day donations. Total Lent spend = £15.99 so far. Still deciding on whether to do a big Iceland shop to use my £8 off; on the one hand I'd rather delay it, as DP is waiting for a big payment to come in, but on the other it seems silly not to use savings and get the £8 off when it's stuff we go through all the time