Festive frugaleers saving through to the new year!

[SnugglySnerd]

New thread! Tried to post on the old one and it was full. Newcomers welcome!

Dd survived the clarinet exam, apparently we should find out in the next day or two if she has passed so must be different in different areas autumn

Dd has been picked to do a special textiles course, only 18 kids in the whole year were chosen so proud of her for that! They were picked for showing great imagination and having worked hard bless her.

I think mens roles have changed tons in just one generation, my brother does so much more with his kids than my dad did with us (and my dad was pretty good really!) My friends husbands are also very hands on as they should be.

Anyway I've stopped briefly, weather awful and I need to go into town 😣

Well said cag

snuggly that gives me the rage. Dm is all “poor dh working so hard” when I’m also working full time.

I’ve just met dh for lunch. We had a walk around and I’ve read him the riot act. Essentially what cag said. Grow up. Grow a pair. Take some responsibility. Look after me (not to the extent that I don’t do anything for myself but you know what I mean) help me. Work as a team with me. Or leave. I didn’t actually say the or leave part. But it was strongly implied.

I like the idea of Equals.

Did you get any progress on the idea of having a cleaner Em?

That's great Girlie on the exam. Fantastic.

That’s good em I’m sure he got your point without actually saying it, and hopefully will buck up. Yes I’m sure he is in shock but so are you, you were doing everything right with the pill, and he was more keen to make baby 2 anyway so arguably more of a shock for you than him even without the physical changes already taking place for you. And yet he’s wallowing in poor behaviour and you’re just getting on with it (admirably so).

Autumn namechange and post at some point. I wonder if your DH is one of the “charmingly inadequate” very clever but zero common sense types?! Maybe I’m jumping the gun there. But anyway. Worth thinking about especially the fact that men often get away with this shit. And yet, you struggle too, you have ASD/fatigue etc and yet you just have to get on and be mum. And DH doesn’t seem to do much to help with parenting a child who has some extra needs himself. Why is that ok? It’s really not, you deserve better, please raise your expectations. Again apologies for stepping over the line here. But the odd thing you’ve said recently about him doing bedtime or you going out without DS being incredibly rare, it is not acceptable, he needs to step up more. I bet your energy levels and stress would improve too. I’m not saying LTB but tell him to buck the hell up will ya :o

No further re a cleaner. But that’s a January thing.

Dh just called me and asked me to order the pork for Christmas dinner. I asked why he can’t do it. “I’m busy at work” so am I.

I said I’d have time to do it on Monday when I’m off. He pointed out that it’s christmas Eve so they probably won’t have any. “You’d better order it then” I said. He moaned and I hung up. Am not entertaining it. If it’s something I’ve said I’ll do I’ll do it. If he’d asked this morning I would have done it. But it’s the assumption that I’m not busy when I’m working.

Em quite telling for him that he's not too busy to call you but is too busy to call to order the pork - same effort I'd have said.

Had some fantastic news, DP has been subcontracting for a local council for about 6 years now, he's been offered a full time permanent post as of the 1st January. Similar rate of pay but 28 days hols plus Bh, pension and all other benefits which come with being employed! YAY!

Awesome q!!!! Well done dh !!!

Well done q's dh
em I used to get similar texts/phonecalls from h too

That's great Q!

How is it less time-consuming to call you than the butcher Em? That's really illogical.

Hi again , i'm just popping in and out at the moment.. Hope thats ok! , .
Things are not too bad here , but I'm very up and down tbh, (however i'm sure this is quite normal.. ) Funeral for DM was last week ,NC sister was there and blanked my whole family which was upsetting .. ..then it was my birthday the day after which Tbh was dreadful also , because of everything else. Anyway i'm not here for sympathy , , things will get better I know..

Happier I meant to say that I love your new user name!!

I am going to Re-frugal properly after the New Year .. its been a really spendy time over the last few months what with all the traveling hotel stays etc etc.., But DH assures me that he is FINALLY going to retire , (and i went P/T during the summer if you remember) so we will have to start reigning it all in again.. Luckily , still no debt.. ( apart from this months CC) . not helped by the fact the car needed 4 new tyres yesterday

Anyway I primarily popped in today to tell you of a great frugal Christmas-related find ( you may have discovered this already ) .. but what with all the Turkey crowns being on the shelves at the moment .. Sainsburys are selling Mahoosive Turkey legs for a just over couple of quid each and weighing about 750g (I bought 5! )... 4 are in freezer and right now one is in the pot with carrots/ onion/ celery and herbs making stock for gravy (and once strained ill whizz some of it with the veggies and meat for soup to eat later ) .

Two will be roasted Christmas eve ( we have venison for Christmas dinner as no one is keen on trad turkey dinner ) so we will have some for turkey and ham sandwiches - the best bit of having a bird imo) ..
and the other two will probably end up in a curry or something..

I reckon that's a good bargain worth looking out for .. I expect other supermarkets will be doing something the same

Hope you are all well and frugalling !!

laska sorry to hear things are so tough right now, sending unmumsnetty hugs.

Well done for calling him out em but I wonder how much went in if he rang you about the ham later? ! I honestly think a useless bloke is much more work/stress than no bloke....

I have finished my Christmas shopping, I had to dip into my b day money to buy the last few bits but I will pay myself back! Spent roughly £40 and also got petrol £34.

Do got in from school looking like a drowned rat!! Weather so dismal today.

Thanks for the thoughts cag. It wasn't really dh I was thinking of as he's very keen on shared responsibility having had two working parents himself. It was others around me. I'll watch out for it though.

Fwiw, I just had the following discussion with dh:

me: The frugaleers think that life insurance is a good idea.
dh: Do you think £800k is a good number?
me: yes that sounds good.
dh: Okay I will set that up.

me: Also cag thinks equality is good even if we want different things that add up to a feeling of equality.
dh: yes that does sound good.
me: Okay we'll look out for that.
dh: Good idea.

me: Did you buy bacon?
dh: Yes
me: okay bacon o'clock then.

We are not complicated people.

Shakes head at em dh.
Sorry things are still tough laska. How the camper van fund still in tact. Sounds like you might need it soon.

£1 for parking for the gym today. £161 next terms childcare

We have the convo:
Dh we have no bacon
Me was it on the shopping list?
Dh no
Me ah well there you go....

We have that kind of conversation too Life. Also this one:

Me - oh! We already had pasta. I've bought more now.
DH - why
Me - because you wrote it on the list. There was some in the cupboard.
DH - which cupboard?
Me - the one where we've kept pasta since we moved in 10 years ago.

Good to see you Laska. Sorry you are having a rough time.

Was the call to order the pork a lengthy one em? It does seem strange that he didn’t just order it himself, especially as does he not do most of the shopping and cooking normally?

That turkey recipe sounds lovely Laska Well done for managing through this week

We also have the shopping list conversation but mostly because I have forgotten that there was a list or where it was. "What list?" "Where?" "Oh well, no tea this week."

NSD

I saw “pork” and “lengthy one” and thought the conversation had taken a totally different turn.

£8 cat food
65p 6 persimmon.
65p foil.

Laska

Q Brilliant news, you must be thrilled.