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The Friendly Frugaleers, halfway through June!

999 replies

Cagliostro · 18/06/2018 15:56

All welcome!

OP posts:
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Bornlazy · 20/06/2018 16:50

Well done on the job Lonely. That cake is amazing, you are so talented.

That's great you've got the keys Cag. When do you hope to move in by?

ChristmasSeacow · 20/06/2018 18:05

I bloody hate that Love. Always vowed I wouldn’t but I didn’t bank on ASD, and in any case we eat much later because DH isn’t home till 7. So I have to cook at least twice but usually 3 times. Grrrrrrrrrr!

Oh Fluffy, that sounds like a brilliant Ocado deal. DH hasn’t had an account before but then I have an annual pass that doesn’t expire till January-ish (I think) so I should probably look for a deal around then.

Dd has been awake since 11.30am and is manic and tearful and awful. I thought she’d sleep on the school run this arvo but no. I think I’m going to take her up to bed in 10 mins. DH will miss her but in this mood he’s not missing much!

I just suggested reading her a story (she’s very into picture books at the mo) and she said ‘bear! Bear!’ So I had to find We’re Going on a Bear Hunt. Clearly the fave! Other fave (for people with little ones) is Peck Peck Peck by Lucy Cousins. Lovely story and the book has lots of holes in it! There’s so much more choice of books even since DS was a baby.

ChristmasSeacow · 20/06/2018 18:15

Girlie I took a picture of my big flower bed last night when I was out watering, as my irises are all out at the moment. It’s hard to see exactly but you can also see the heuchera flowering between the stepping stones (oak cubes) . I’ve got some agapanthus flowers on the way too 🌺🌸🌼

The Friendly Frugaleers, halfway through June!
ememem84 · 20/06/2018 18:35

Ffs.

Just picked Ds up from nursery. He was fine in the car on the way home (facing forwards). Got him out the car and he threw up all over dh. Like proper sicky sick. Yuk.

He’s been fine all day at nursery. So am hoping it’s a car sick thing. He’d just woken up from a nap and I’d bundled him straight in the car. Car was hot. Facing forwards etc.

Sigh.

Fluffycloudland77 · 20/06/2018 19:16

£5 petrol. I was aiming for a NSD too.

Lovely cake Lonely 🎂

SnugglySnerd · 20/06/2018 19:19

Seacow your little DD can't really be one already?! Where did that go?

Another brilliant cake Lonely. You should apply for GBBO!

Great news that you have the keys Cag and yes Ikea delivery charge is extortionate. I think they do it so that people go to the store rather than buying online and then get carried away in the marketplace like I do and end up spending loads. I suppose that means that ordering as much as possible in one go is sensible though.

NSD but I still need to get a birthday present for one of DD's friends.

ememem84 · 20/06/2018 19:30

Cheese and ham muffins made for bake sale tomorrow and Jamie Oliver’s pesto chicken parcels made. Had 4 chicken breasts so will have some for lunch tomorrow too. Yay!

ememem84 · 20/06/2018 19:31

Ds hasn’t sicked again. So fingers crossed.

Girliefriendlikesflowers · 20/06/2018 19:45

lonely that cake is awesome!! Well done, has she turned 12? My dd spent most of her 12th bday in tears, was completely overwhelmed! !

seacow that looks fab! A lovely sized garden as well.

cag so exciting but completely understand why you're stressed!!

em glad dr was helpful, do you think the tablets are helping?

I'm tired as usual, work is super busy with lots going on and this muggy weather is driving me mad.

Lsd 54p on a drink.

I've never really considered the whole pack/ed lunch thing 😶 I am probably guilty of saying pack lunch!!

mammynowanauntyIRL · 20/06/2018 19:51

Life neither is crafting! Have to have my cross stitch piece finished for ds finishing school on Friday so stitching every free moment.

Made a meatza today I'm stuffed (pizza using minced beef as base)

I've slipped into making two dinners lately - because I'm following macro based diet and because dc have become fussy and I don't want to fight with them in the evenings Grin

Dd is battered & bruised she had a learn to cycle class Monday & pedals were off bike & the cranks battered her inner knees then she fell off a thing in playground today and cut inside of one knee.

Shopping delivered, they never took off discount code of €14, will make contact with them tomo to sort it out. €142 will be the net cost.
€50 on fuel card
€4.70 on 2 packs of falafels and a pack of Dutch crispbakes

And my lovely neighbour made us a chocolate cake to say thanks for eggs we give her regularly

Sea your garden is beautiful

MeadowHay · 20/06/2018 20:46

Well it was around 30hrs from first contractions til baby arrived and unfortunately via assisted delivery so I found the whole thing pretty harrowing but the doctor who delivered baby was as amazing as she could be given the circumstances. One night in hospital with DH allowed to stay with me in a side-room as a 'reasonable adjustment' for my anxiety/ASD and back home this afternoon. Very tired and very sore and breastfeeding already seeming to become difficult but my baby is here and she is beautiful and healthy.

Loveabaconsandwich · 20/06/2018 20:49

Congratulations on your baby girl meadow 💕

ChristmasSeacow · 20/06/2018 20:53

Yay!!!!! Huge congratulations Meadow, I am so thrilled for you. A beautiful girl ❤️. I am sorry you found it hard - I hope the trauma recedes quickly but if it doesn’t some hospitals offer the opportunity to discuss your birth with a midwife in a way that helps to answer any questions you may have and process the experience.

Breastfeeding is bloody hard, you are not alone there. In fact, the first couple of weeks are hard and you’ve got all the hormones etc too. But it will settle. Ah, lovely squidgy baby x

Fluffycloudland77 · 20/06/2018 20:57

Congratulations to you both Meadow Flowers

Cagliostro · 20/06/2018 21:10

Aaah congratulations meadow 😍 does she have a name? (Obviously no need to tell us)

It’s difficult when births don’t go how we planned and it is absolutely ok to be sad/pissed off etc about it... you will get a lot of - kindly meant - “aww it doesn’t matter, she’s here now, it’s all worth it” etc. But it’s ok to not be ok with how it went. I really feel that helped me this time, to actually allow myself to be sad about it rather than trying to pretend it had all been great. 💐

Sorry the breastfeeding is hard, if you can ask the midwife to watch a feed it could be really helpful as she should be able to tell if there are issues with her latch. Ask someone to have a check for tongue tie as well just because that can sometimes be a cause of breastfeeding difficulties. Xx

OP posts:
Unescorted · 20/06/2018 21:20

meadow amazing news. As sea says bf is difficult to get first time. I found the trick was to relax....if it doesn't work it doesn't work. Your body has gone through a pretty traumatic experience, you are tired, miniM is tired and gone through a traumatic experience. Don't beat yourself up about it. My midwife was funny... She had a theory that if it was easy men would do it. It finally twigged for me and DD when we were both so dog tired it was a race to see who would fall asleep first.

Lonely yes to a notebook at work. I have a day book and a bullet journal. Important information from the day book is typed up. Bullet journal is a glorified to do list. We can be FOIed and now we have the GDPR legislation now so I shred them when I have extracted all the information I need.
That cake is amazing.

Sea a whole year! Where did that go? Your garden is incredible...I love your irises.

Wolf good to see you too.

I keep meaning to update you on the lad who was difficult in the office. He has left us...pushed rather than voluntary. I am annoyed with our HR department and the department he worked for. He could have been supported much better if only we had been told he was autistic. He apparently had wanted people to know but it was decided that this would taint our view of him. My colleagues and I figure if we had known we could have acted as a buffer. In the end he was rude to someone very high up. They weren't so understanding and had no idea that they needed to be.

ememem84 · 20/06/2018 21:31

meadow massive congratulations!!!! So so happy for you xx bf is tough. I hope you are able to get it though. But don’t beat yourself up if you decide to stop (for whatever reason and whenever you do).

I absolutely agree with cag it’s ok not to be ok with how the birth went. Yes the important thing is both you and dd are ok. But try and get someone to speak to you about the birth. Our midwife team here do a “debrief” the next day if there’s any intervention required. I didnt know this happened but am so glad it did.

With ds he got the cord wrapped around and they had to intervene. I hadn’t had any drugs (and by the intervention point it was too late) and sorry for the tmi, they had to make a cut and use the ventouse to get him out. I lost about 1200ml blood apparently. I remember feeling a bit anxious about what was going on but the team were so good explaining everything to me and even when I kept saying I was scared they were so kind. And reassuring. They debriefed me the next day when we’d had some sleep etc.

Ds seems to be ok now after his sicky episode. We’re planning on sending him to Nursery tomorrow as we’re pretty sure it’s not a bug. He hasn’t been sick since and has eaten etc and no other symptoms. Keeping an eye on him overnight though.

I felt so anxious during the whole thing. Dh had to shout at me to do things. I’m not good with sick. I panic. And flap. And I wanted to run away from poor ds. But I did what I had to do.

Catface is now here in bed with me kneading my arm. She needs her claws clipped...im getting le scratched.

Charity bake sale tomorrow for work. Tonight I’ve collected brownies from Dm, have made cheese and ham muffins and threw together a Victoria sandwich cake. Money is bein g raised for our “its a knockout” team to raise money for the special care baby unit.

mammynowanauntyIRL · 20/06/2018 21:32

Meadow massive congratulations to you and your dh, welcome to your little princess.
I'm not sure how it works in uk but if you want to breastfeed there is definitely help out there if you want it. In Ireland we've a really good Facebook group maybe you could search that and someone local to you could come help you.
If you feel that talking about the delivery would help, please do as you can accept and move on from it then.

Cagliostro · 20/06/2018 21:36

Oh yes UK Breastfeeding Support, and UK Breastfeeding and Parenting Support are two excellent FB groups, I have posted on both a number of times and there’s always someone around to answer questions. The first group has moderators screening posts I think so if you need a quick response the second one is better in case there’s no mods around (if I remember right)

Would always recommend RL support too though. If there’s a BF support group around that’d be great and also make sure DH is ready to insist on help if you aren’t feeling up to it xxx

OP posts:
Laska5772 · 20/06/2018 21:36

Reporting in from AWOL and look what Ive missed!!.
Congratulations Lonely Cag and especially to Meadow and Babymeadow all three big life changing events! ,

cag the council should do bathroom adaptations and will do in HA homes. Get the OT round and an assessment made . it will be means tested but hopefully you shouldn't have to pay that much.

Ive been super busy (and also ill with some sort of grim stomach bug ,which has laid me low most of last weekend and this week) Still feeling weak but am going on holiday tomorrow - flying stupid o' clock on Friday morning (a couple of days ago I didn't think Id be able to, but have been ok all day and reckon I cant be infectious now )

DS has a job ! ( P/T and temporary again only until christmas sadly .) but at least that some weight of my mind and he can stay in his flat .. he is trying hard for something better though.

I will try and keep up from now on! but maybe wont post much again for the next 3 weeks ( 3 weeks in Greece Squee!) Grin

Wolfcub · 20/06/2018 21:49

Meadow congratulations. Sea is spot on about the birth Thing and that’s something I wish I’d known at the time. Enjoy those lovely baby cuddles and take it easy. Eat mars bars x Bear for baby Flowers for you

Lonely that’s a lovely cake and so clever
Em that must be some boat I hope it’s a good bottle of wine

Loan came though today so have paid the credit card off with it so debt now 12% cheaper. Have bollocked h as he’s clearly missed some payments from one of his own accounts and I don’t want to have to bail him out and to be honest can’t teally afford to. Call from sw ahead of the CIN meeting it seems the underlying issue is likely to come to a head in a few weeks now. Probably right when we are due to go on holiday which is my biggest fear at the mo. Do CAB offer divorce advice? I really need to get on with it

Awful dizzy spells today. Sat in a board meeting with the room literally doing loops around me. Grim. Need to get up early and get to work early on as laptop was not working well on the train today

Unescorted you’ve just made me worry that i need to shred all my lovely leucthurrm notebooks. I have a new member of staff with asd and while he does sometimes lack a filter he’s easy to deal with in the mumsnet way of “did you mean to be so rude”. He said something he shouldn’t have to me today and I just shot back “well that wasn’t very supportive was it” the same as I would with anyone. He is open about it though and that makes it much easier to deal with because colleagues understand he isn’t being deliberately rude. It’s a shame your HR/other team told your member of staff to keep it secret.

Fluffycloudland77 · 20/06/2018 21:53

Once you’ve got the mortgage in your sole name and all joint accounts shut you can apply to all the credit agencies to be financially disassociated from him.

Girliefriendlikesflowers · 20/06/2018 22:00

Oh meadow wonderful news, congratulations! ! A beautiful daughter 💗

It took me a long time to recover from a traumatic birth, it's definitely okay to not be okay!! With breastfeeding I think a lot of it comes down to luck and in my case being very stubborn, dd was mix fed for the first 3 months so that's a possibility as well (it often seems to be pushed as one or the other but doing both is also possible.)

Sending you all lots of love xxx

Unescorted · 20/06/2018 22:07

wolf just don't write anything in them that is personal to a person or anything you wouldn't mind seeing on the front of the Telegraph. I am not that disciplined so into the shreader they go.

Laska that is great news.

Em my DD used to (and still does) get really car sick. Do NOT let him eat Quavers on long car journeys. I still cannot be in the same room as an open bag. Essential kit is a bowl, plastic bags without holes, wipes and a set of clothes for every 15 miles.