Frulgaleers - Jumping into June

[Laska5772]

We filled up the last thread before we did a new one!
Hope you find this !

I’m sorry to gently challenge your last post Sunny but different things work for different people . It’s great that talking solutions and therapy are the right thing for you. They worked well for me too (at times) but I’d also say just generally to anyone who happens to read this thread as a person with depression, as the child of a chronically depressed parent and as the spouse (current issues aside) of a person with PTSD Anti depressants and anti anxiety meds can literally be a life saver.

If they are not for you and you’re reading this then that’s ok but if you are reading this and considering medication take professional advice and know they do help some people. Sorry to be serious for a moment.

Em, I wouldn't speak to him tonight, if I were you. I think it will end in a confrontation, which is the last thing you need. Could you go out somewhere (gym/friend's/parents?)and come back at bedtime? I really think you need some thinking time/breathing space.

Thinking of you as well today, Seacow.

Wolf Good point, well made.

creme I see what you’re saying. But I think if I’m honest it’ll end up in a confrontation whenever I speak to him. But yeah. Maybe it’s better to not talk to him for a few days.

Obviously not not talk to him, but not talk to him about this.

sunny I’m a big advocate of talking therapy. Dr thinks though that for me the meds May help - talking therapy isn’t going to help me sleep or help me want to eat. The meds can do that. I’m not happy about them if I’m honest because I wanted to be able to cope without them but will see.

Sea

Em I take sertraline and have for a while now, actually I'm going to try and come off it. I spoke to a therapist about it and she said 'you're still swimming but the meds are armbands helping you stay afloat'. They really helped me.

Em That really interesting that you have the sleeping/eating stuff. That's partly what I have and my GP is a big advocate too of the talking therapy and no meds. That's why I'm doing all the violin/clarinet stuff. I thinking I'm basically trying to work off PND through musical expression (and a million other things, including talking therapy). I wouldn't have been able to take anti-depressants because of the side effects though.

In fairness, my GP is a borderline professional musician, and I think it may be catching. Possibly other GPs would pass on different ideas to you, but that is the one that I'm getting.

Oh em I do feel for you, for me meds made everything a million times worse but then I had an extreme reaction and know they have massively helped other people. Talking therapies helped me, the main thing that came out of that was how without even realising it I'd lost sight of myself. Very easily done when you're a parent, sending you a virtual hug.

seacow thinking of you and sending love.

I'm off to the spa tonight - can't wait!!

Have we heard from meadow recently?!!

That's what I'm learning Girlie - about having lost sight of myself. That's a nice way to put it.

£40 QVC on ultrasun, £47 marks on food. Lee yum.

Sounds very like me em. I've been on meds for years, tried to come off, couldn't, went back on. You have to find the route that works for you.
My DC aren't labelled because I have this condition. School don't even know as I appear to function daily.
My very understanding gp (and yours sounds fab) said sometimes the brain gets rewired after pregnancy and some people just need needs to help. Like the armband analogy.

There is no shame in choosing meds, nothing, talking therapy or a combo. Do what it takes to get you through. As long as DS is thriving you are doing a great job.
It's a medical condition not a sign of weakeness.

Sorry rant over but I hate the way pnd can be stigmatised when it shouldn't. I remember how women in my bf group were so pleased I was so open about it as they could then talk about it.

Life we use ultrasun too. It's great.

Em I agree I don't think the hv needs to be informed. You don't need any support with ds, or day to day tasks so not much they would do to help.

em glad it went well at the Drs. It sounds like your GP is taking you seriously and being very helpful, and to be honest that is half the battle. Hopefully the meds will make you feel a bit more like yourself again, and in combination with therapy you will see an improvement. I wish I had gone to my GP after I had my DS1 as I think in hindsight I probably had postnatal depression.

With regards to your DH it is difficult to know what to do. His lack of consideration will be bothering you more than it normally would because of how you're feeling. Fingers crossed he realises that this is serious and starts to support you.

I know you think that work isn't the problem, but it is an extra stress so be mindful that if you do have to go off, that is ok too.

Home. Haven’t spoken to dh about how I’m feeling. He is adamant that I’m “fixed” now. Sigh.

I don’t know how the meds will affect me as never been on them before but as I said to the dr I feel at rock bottom so I’m willing to try anything which will give me a lift.

Came home and dh is waiting to take mil home so I’ve fed ds. Bloody greedy kid is so excited about his dinner (Ella’s kitchen roast lamb dinner - dh laughed when I bought a load of these when they were on offer but they’re handy to have!). Makes me sad that maybe he’s not seeing me at my best (but he’s only 8 months so he’ll get over it...)

We’ve just read the tiger who came to tea. And he’s playing with his stacky uppy owl toy.

sunny for me the warning signs when things are getting too much are me not wanting to eat. I love food. Love love it. And it doesn’t excite me. I don’t look forward to a nice dinner. I said to the gp that dh’s offer last week of the taster menu at the Michelin star place would usually have got me whipped up into an excitable frenzy. I’d have been dreaming about it. But I knew something was off when I wasn’t bothered. Dr said if she suggested we go there now what would I say. And I said “meh” I’m eating because I have to. Not because I want to. And am not eating much. Dr said for now forget healthy. Eat what I fancy. So pizza and Doritos.

Sounds good to me em and as soon as you've got your appetite back make DH treat you to the taster menu!

Wreck. Qvcuk special offers today if you can afford it

DS will be fine em. He knows you love him unconditionally. The biggest thing is recognition of an issue and seeking help.

I feel my last post was a bit ott. If I have upset anyone let me know and I will get it deleted. X

Sounds like a productive appointment @ememem84; I hope you start to feel more like yourself soon.

NSD for me, although DH bought milk and bread, and a few other bits (chocolate ).

Your post (and everyone's) was fine life I totally agree. There is too much stigma and pressure around mental health as it is, and a special kind around PND (You can't be sad you've had a baby!) so much pressure to be perfect new mummy. I think especially if it's your first experience with depression it can be a huge shock to suddenly not be ok at what society tells us should be the happiest time of your life. It's an often used saying but "it's OK not to be ok" :)

I've been off ADs since early pregnancy mainly due to side effects but I have a regular dialogue with my GP (and did with my midwife who talked about her own PND and recommended said GP as we have lots in our surgery) and if I need them I will take them. I am doing OK with mindfulness at the moment, literally just accepting when I feel sad or anxious rather than fighting it. I had PND with both the other two, this time anxiety was a bigger problem (verging on postnatal OCD) But I'm through the worst.

Also wanted to say meadow if you're reading this I hope it is helpful rather than scary. However you feel after baby arrives is OK and it's good to ask for help if you need it. Also it's good you know about ASD as I feel like that was a huge factor in my struggles with the other two - I had no idea why I struggled to do things like baby groups and I felt like a failure. I am so much better this time because I accept that I find some things hard and that not being a neurotypical mum doesn't make me a bad one! Anyway if you ever want to PM me feel free x

I will stop waffling now. It is something I feel very strongly about also. :)

£6 Homebargains apples, oranges, contact lens fluid, 2 x Dolmio, tilda rice.
£5 aldi, chicken tikka, 2 x iceberg and eggs.

Life Did you get the burgers with bone marrow?. I bought bone marrow to make my own and I chucked a bit in the chilli & it does add a certain something.

It was only £1 too.

@Fluffycloudland77 I'm hoping they will send me another offer when I cancel the delivery saver! I can live without it for a couple of months anyway, as long as I'm on maternity leave at least.

I’m watching the new shop smart programme. It is annoying the chuff out of me. I’m sure we could collectively put together some better tips.

Life I hope you’ve have a lovely day
Sea I hope you’re ok
Em ds is a happy secure little boy and you are a fantastic mum

Which channel is it on?

em. Well done for getting the appointment done.

Happy birthday life

Hope you are doing as well as you can today seacow

£4.50 Tesco
£6.90 on two swimming badges

DD1 was so proud to get her 10m swimming badge and move up to the next class. I was proud too

No update from the GP about my dad yet. I've told my mum to contact the surgery and make the appointment tomorrow rather than waiting for them to call them.

Love that's a good idea. These letters can take weeks and weeks!