Parents want me to do and kids to do covid test before visiting

[Needarest22]

AIBU for being a bit put out by this?
My brother is also visiting and he's really cautious about covid so it could be driven by him. There is no talk of them doing one.
AIBU to be a bit miffed?

Is it still 2020 and people are doing covid tests and isolating before seeing people?

Looking at the replies on this thread, it seems that this is the case for loads of people.

I don't see why you wouldn't test if you have vulnerable family members who would feel more comfortable if they knew you didn't have covid.

Why would you not want to avoid passing on a nasty virus to elderly parents? That’s all that’s being suggested. It’s really not that deep.

There are some completely grim
posters above suggesting you lie about testing. They are absolute scum and you wouldn’t want to be friends with such selfish liars.

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t take a test just to put their minds at rest. Why wouldn’t you, unless you are being stubborn to make some sort of point which is childish and mean.

There’s no evidence whatsoever that the OP’s family are vulnerable.

From what the OP has said it’s her brother who is dictating that other people prove they are ‘clean’. Why on earth should anyone test for covid to satisfy that?

Fair enough if your mum is undergoing chemotherapy or something. You’d presumably be taking plenty of precautions related to the germ vector aspect of children around your mum anyway.

But, for most people, it’s not 2020. There are loads of viruses around. Insisting people prove they are ‘clean’ enough to visit you is just not reasonable.

In Mumsnet world. Not in my world.

Insisting people prove they are ‘clean’ enough to visit you is just not reasonable.

Exactly. We can't live like this. It's a horrible way to view people - disease vectors unless they prove they are clean.

Of course there is evidence that they are vulnerable. They are old enough to be grandparents so presumably 60+. And also, from OPs posts:

They have health anxiety but also my dad had a bad chest last year.

Is 60 still classed as vulnerable? DH is 68, I never think of him as vulnerable now!

I'm not commenting on vulnerability, but we can hardly assume that being a grandparent means a person would be sixty plus. There's huge variation according to demographics there, and these are fairly young children by the sound of things.

Anyone with a “bad chest” (as the OP described her father as having) is likely to be cautious of a respiratory infection.

Well yes. Some of us still have vulnerable relatives that were trying to balance protecting whilst living life with and testing is a helpful tool.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat over 50s are offered the booster vaccine for a reason

I wouldn't dream of visiting anyone who is elderly or vulnerable, or anyone who is anxious about getting ill and asks guests to test, without testing. It takes a few moments, and is painless now it's nasal swabs only.

My MIL is 84, and was in ICU with pneumonia and pleurisy just before last Christmas, Covid could easily finish her off. And a colleague, vaccinated, boostered and only 50, was admitted to hospital with Covid 10 days ago. I've been on leave, so haven't heard how she is.

And suggesting someone lies about having tested is so unethical I can't believe anyone has suggested it.

Just do it but then ask to see everyone else’s including your parents.

Oh well, I'm not going to start treating him differently now! We've said all along if one of us gets it the other one probably will as we can't isolate from each other.

I think part of the trouble is, no one knows how badly (if at all) Covid will affect them personally. When we had it in the house, it put me in bed for a good 10 days feeling terrible whereas DH and DD, both of whom are CEV, hardly knew they had it.

So people who have been through it and not felt ill find it hard to relate to those who felt awful with it, and those who were really ill can't understand why other people aren't bothered about it. So to some Covid fears seem OTT and irrational and to others they seem perfectly sensible.

That's human nature, of course, we all relate to our own personal experiences.
But I do think we need to bear in mind other people may have a different take. OP can refuse to comply with her parents' wishes and not have Christmas with them, but it seems a strange hill to choose to die on.

This...
And don't forget, nearly 2 million have Long Covid as a result of getting Covid.
But for goodness sake, whatever you decide to do OP, don't lie about taking the test.

I agree. Long covid sucks and ruins lives but we all get stuck inside and become invisible

I'd take the test, as long as they all took the test. Although as pp have said, I'd be worried that if you go, and even if you all test negative that they'd still blame you @Needarest22. How truthful do you think they and dB are being about isolating themselves, and is this them forever now?

Or my world. I haven’t had a conversation about a Covid test with anyone for most of the year, certainly not since last Spring when most people had it at the start of the year.

Grandparents have a better social life (even than us!) and good on them for it! Love to see people enjoying their lives to the fullest.

A deeply unlucky one if covid infection resulted in you suffering from all those. Esp the erectile dysfunction.

I’ve had this with my husbands family, honestly just do it and don’t think about it best to keep everyone happy when you’ve got to spend all day (or longer) with them. If anyone gets the sniffles after they’ll blame you.

This. Utterly selfish op

Exactly