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Original poster

Friend might have covid but won’t test because she doesn’t want to isolate.

155 replies

LemonViolets · 17/02/2022 15:49

What can I say to convince her she has to test?
Or, can I/should I report her if she refuses.

My friend has two teenage DC’, which is probably how she caught it, one of them pretty much her entire group of friend tested positive last week, but her LFT was negative.
Although, friend has said several times before that she doesn’t think her DD takes the LFT properly, so I don’t know how true the negative test is.

For the last couple of days friend has been complaining about feeling rough and says he has a head cold, I told her she should test but she said they only have a couple of LFT left so she doesn’t want to waste them on what is probably just a cold.
Today we spoke on the phone and she was coughing quite a bit with a chesty sounding cough and she sounded really horse, I told her again to take a LFT but she said she can’t, and after a bit of prodding she admitted if she tests positive she won’t be able to work (cash in hand second job so no ability to claim anything and she really needs the money) and she won’t be able to go and stay with her boyfriend while her kids go away for half term next week.
She said she’d rather wait until she had worked this weekend and traveled to her boyfriends house and then test next week if she still feels rotten.

I can understand how disappointing having to change plans is, but I think putting people on the trains she will be travelling on and the people she would be working for over the weekend at a potential risk is not worth it.
and does she really want to potentially expose her boyfriend.
She said no but she doesn’t know if she has covid, so she’ll just wait and see next week.

I think she is being really short sighted and selfish but I don’t know what to say to make her see.

I also don’t know if I should report her if she does continue with her plans regardless.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 20/02/2022 09:41

@LemonViolets

Who actually turns up with boxes of test to basically force someone to do one? Weird behaviour

Not at all, she told me they only had two tests left and her DCs couldn’t get any more from school so that was a part of the reason she wasn’t going to test.
I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription so offered to get some for her, she was thankful for them.

I didn’t force her to do anything, I was concerned about how blasé she seemed to be about potentially having a highly contagious virus and still going about her plans including a long trip on public transport.
Tbh I would be just as concerned about her going out and about spreading flu or a sickness bug.

And for those bleating on about “it ending next week”
Unless you know something about a miracle cure that the rest of us don’t know the only thing ending is the governments pathetic attempt at restrictions, the virus will still be rampant and people who have it should still be isolating at home recovering as you should with any contagious illness that’s a potential risk to others.

Meanwhile, in the real world many people can not afford isolation. Check your privilege.
cherrysthename · 20/02/2022 10:15

Boston** all the way through this, my children's school have insisted kids with colds still attend school, if well enough.

OliveTree75 · 20/02/2022 12:09

Meanwhile, in the real world many people can not afford isolation. Check your privilege.

Absolutely this!
OP your latest update is infuriating

Blubells · 20/02/2022 12:21

Unless you know something about a miracle cure that the rest of us don’t know the only thing ending is the governments pathetic attempt at restrictions, the virus will still be rampant and people who have it should still be isolating at home

Restrictions and isolations will not 'cure' or eliminate the virus. They were originally introduced to protect the nhs from becoming overwhelmed with lots of cases at once.

XpressoMartini · 20/02/2022 12:40

@LemonViolets I read your latest update and I genuinely think this thread is a wind-up. Buying her some tests, offering her to pay for lost wages… This is beyond patronising and would not exist in the real world.

DearlyBeloathed · 20/02/2022 13:01

Restrictions and isolations will not 'cure' or eliminate the virus. They were originally introduced to protect the nhs from becoming overwhelmed with lots of cases at once

The sooner people realise this the better.

LyricalBlowToTheJaw · 20/02/2022 13:06

This account is extremely plausible.

HesterShaw1 · 20/02/2022 13:20

@DearlyBeloathed

Restrictions and isolations will not 'cure' or eliminate the virus. They were originally introduced to protect the nhs from becoming overwhelmed with lots of cases at once

The sooner people realise this the better.

People STILL think restrictions were imposed to stop them and "their loved ones" getting infected.

Nothing can do that.

80sMum · 20/02/2022 13:29

" Isolating is the law "

It's only a legal requirement to isolate if you are specifically instructed to do so by Test and Trace. That would only happen if you officially registered a positive test.

So, if you don't test, you won't be told to isolate, so would not be breaking any laws.

There is no legal obligation to test.

OliveTree75 · 20/02/2022 14:06

Restrictions and isolations will not 'cure' or eliminate the virus. They were originally introduced to protect the nhs from becoming overwhelmed with lots of cases at once.
👏👏👏

MarbleQueen · 20/02/2022 14:26

There speaks the voice of someone who, still after all this time, has no grasp of statistics and how society works

My pointing out that mps were confident to arrange parties and that none of them died does not mean I don’t understand how society works.

If you’re uncomfortable about the subject of parties perhaps you should address that.

Watapalava · 20/02/2022 16:28

Lemon you sound deranged honestly

Listen to what you are saying

Blubells · 20/02/2022 16:40

It's a wind up!

Frazzled2207 · 20/02/2022 16:45

Report her to who? That’s ridiculous.

If she needs the money and won’t get it otherwise I totally understand why she’s going to work. In her shoes I wouldn’t but she may be struggling financially.

Yes she is being a bit selfish but she won’t be the only one. Covid is bloody everywhere at the minute. The only good thing is immunity generally is building due to a combination of vaccines and everyone having had it. Even the poor queen has it ffs and she will be the most protected person in the country.

I think you need to mind your own business.

I think a year ago you wouldn’t be unreasonable but times have changed. The government clearly doesn’t care anymore so why should you. Just avoid her for now

Original poster
LemonViolets · 20/02/2022 18:41

Some posters are being unnecessarily rude.

1, My friend isn’t struggling financially, she could survive without this weekends wages, she needs the money for another purpose, like a holiday.

I don’t know what police forces are like in other areas but where we live we have fantastic police officers based in our town who are very involved in the community, they have repeatedly dIscussed the importance of sticking to the guidelines and rules for the safety of everyone else in the community,
They regularly post on social media that they want to avoid people breaking the guidelines and to report anything we have concerns about.
I have no doubt that if I called them and reported my friend as having covid but continuing to go out and about and that she is planning on going in a long journey on public transport they will pop round and have a chat with her about it.

3, I don’t think isolating cures covid, but if people stopped acting selfishly, stayed home when they were unwell, wore masks in public spaces and used more common sense the spread of the virus would be significantly reduced.

I tried to help my friend because I though she was being short sighted and acting selfishly, I now know she is, she not considering who she might end up infecting, only that she wants a little holiday so that’s all that matters.

I’m not a bad friend, ridiculous, neurotic, or a lunatic,
yes I may be overly cautious about the virus, but I don’t see that as a bad thing, everyone I know seems to feel the same way and as a result almost nobody I know has caught it.

I posted here looking for an outside option and I got it, I decided not to report my friend and to mind my own business other than offering her the money she would loose from not working and offering other help if she needed it, based on the replies on the thread and take a step back from the friendship as I don’t agree with her choice of actions. I can’t do much more.

OP posts:
collieresponder88 · 20/02/2022 18:47

Report her ? Who do you think will give a damn. Isolation is ending soon anyway. Get a life

EeeICouldRipATissue · 20/02/2022 18:56

My friend isn’t struggling financially, she could survive without this weekends wages
How the F could you possibly know that?!
Even if she did just want it for a holiday - so what?!

Waxonwaxoff0 · 20/02/2022 19:18

Was the spread of the virus reduced with masks and isolation? No it was not, as the last few months have proved. The only thing that reduced the spread was lockdown which is obviously not sustainable.

PanickedE · 20/02/2022 19:37

OP, I mean this nicely but you sound really unwell. Do you get help for your anxiety? Your reaction is disproportionate

0pheliaBaIIs · 21/02/2022 07:58

Ah, I see a time traveller has joined us from April 2020.

You have the power to go back in time and April 2020 is where you choose to go?! Crackers.

HesterShaw1 · 21/02/2022 09:13

Move to Trudeau's Canada. It sounds like it would be just the place for you

KosherDill · 21/02/2022 09:35

I'm with you, OP. Couldn't be friends with someone that selfish and inconsiderate.

Failing to test because the results might be inconvenient is just abysmal.

0pheliaBaIIs · 21/02/2022 09:44

@KosherDill

I'm with you, OP. Couldn't be friends with someone that selfish and inconsiderate.

Failing to test because the results might be inconvenient is just abysmal.

Isolation won't be required from this week though, and it's likely that testing will end too.

That's one of the reasons this thread is bizarre!

s1h2o3na · 21/02/2022 09:56

i think there will be a lot more threads like this though, every time the rules change in a substantial way you can see the massive wave of anxiety that goes through people as we are all at totally different stages of risk acceptance and its psychologically very difficult for some. Removing the requirement to isolate and removing free lateral flows is going to be probably the biggest psychological test that people have faced. I've still got family members bleaching their shopping!!!

LyricalBlowToTheJaw · 21/02/2022 10:06

@s1h2o3na

i think there will be a lot more threads like this though, every time the rules change in a substantial way you can see the massive wave of anxiety that goes through people as we are all at totally different stages of risk acceptance and its psychologically very difficult for some. Removing the requirement to isolate and removing free lateral flows is going to be probably the biggest psychological test that people have faced. I've still got family members bleaching their shopping!!!
True. I wouldn't assume this OP is 100% genuine, but I think the wave of anxiety you're talking about does exist.