Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Friend might have covid but won’t test because she doesn’t want to isolate.

155 replies

LemonViolets · 17/02/2022 15:49

What can I say to convince her she has to test?
Or, can I/should I report her if she refuses.

My friend has two teenage DC’, which is probably how she caught it, one of them pretty much her entire group of friend tested positive last week, but her LFT was negative.
Although, friend has said several times before that she doesn’t think her DD takes the LFT properly, so I don’t know how true the negative test is.

For the last couple of days friend has been complaining about feeling rough and says he has a head cold, I told her she should test but she said they only have a couple of LFT left so she doesn’t want to waste them on what is probably just a cold.
Today we spoke on the phone and she was coughing quite a bit with a chesty sounding cough and she sounded really horse, I told her again to take a LFT but she said she can’t, and after a bit of prodding she admitted if she tests positive she won’t be able to work (cash in hand second job so no ability to claim anything and she really needs the money) and she won’t be able to go and stay with her boyfriend while her kids go away for half term next week.
She said she’d rather wait until she had worked this weekend and traveled to her boyfriends house and then test next week if she still feels rotten.

I can understand how disappointing having to change plans is, but I think putting people on the trains she will be travelling on and the people she would be working for over the weekend at a potential risk is not worth it.
and does she really want to potentially expose her boyfriend.
She said no but she doesn’t know if she has covid, so she’ll just wait and see next week.

I think she is being really short sighted and selfish but I don’t know what to say to make her see.

I also don’t know if I should report her if she does continue with her plans regardless.

What would you do?

OP posts:
PotteryLady · 17/02/2022 16:49

Leave her be - the bloody Prime Minister and his lackey's have broken the covid rules hundreds of times - there are no rules that anyone cares to follow - the PM is leading by example!

gamerchick · 17/02/2022 16:49

Christ put the pearls away OP..just avoid her in person and crack on with your life.

Myinsidevoice · 17/02/2022 16:49

In Scotland LFT tests are easy to order online, pick up in pharmacies and are readily available in schools etc.
Most workplaces ask anyone with symptoms to test and prove a negative test. We are meant to test when meeting up with people and out of genuine kindness for others, everyone I know does it.
I wouldn’t report a friend for not testing but I’d be keeping my distance for a while to make sure they are well. I don’t think you’re in the wrong. I think you’re being sensible and caring about others.
I have cev people in my family and covid is deadly to them. Doesn’t matter if they have had 4 vaccinations and wear a mask, if they come into contact with someone who isn’t following current guidelines then they can become seriously unwell- not just a cold.

It’s been rubbish living under restrictions for such a long time and we would all like normality to return but if people who are unwell stayed at home then normality would return faster. I appreciate and understand she needs to work but she is spreading it and can make herself even more unwell by not resting.

vodkaredbullgirl · 17/02/2022 16:51

just stay away from her

DickMabutt73962 · 17/02/2022 16:52

I wouldn’t want to get her in trouble, but I think if one of our local PC’s came and explained the rules to her she might take it a bit more seriously.

...with 7 days to go? 🙄

Duchess379 · 17/02/2022 16:53

I felt rough last week. Head cold, sore throat, lost my voice (on my birthday) Was given antibiotics by the Dr who advised me to do the PCR test. Came back negative.
It is quite possible that your friend does indeed just have a cold, that is doing the rounds.

DickMabutt73962 · 17/02/2022 16:54

@LemonViolets

Maybe I’m just a bit over cautious because of how our family have treated it for the last two years.

It’s clear from this thread any many others on MN that most people don’t care if they catch it or pass on to anyone the come into contact with.
Which I think is terribly sad, I guess I just expected better from my friend.

Yes you are right about all of these points, HTH.
EeeICouldRipATissue · 17/02/2022 16:59

Ok let me see if I've got this right....
You want to report your friend to the police because she may or may not have covid and doesn't want to take a test for fear of losing her income when in a week's time it won't be necessary (in England) anyway?
Wow... with friends like you....

This

Quartz2208 · 17/02/2022 17:01

You sound very stuck in a 2020/early 2021 mentality. Rightly or wrongly the country (and maybe even most of the world) has moved on.

In a week there will be no testing.no isolation and nothing to know whether you should or not

Wandda · 17/02/2022 17:05

@LemonViolets

Maybe I’m just a bit over cautious because of how our family have treated it for the last two years.

It’s clear from this thread any many others on MN that most people don’t care if they catch it or pass on to anyone the come into contact with.
Which I think is terribly sad, I guess I just expected better from my friend.

Myself and all of my family are fully vaccinated and have had boosters. We have followed all Covid rules from the start including isolating when we had Covid. But there has to be an end date, in fact the requirement to isolate will end next week. I’ve don’t everything I can to protect others at great personal cost, but now I am putting my family first.
Clytemnestra4 · 17/02/2022 17:09

Times have changed OP. In April 2020 knowingly going around with covid was seen as akin to drink driving. It’s now seen by the vast majority as akin to driving 35mph in a 30 mph.

I think for your own sanity you need to take a step back and calm down. Covid is out there, it’s not going away, and the vast majority of people have now accepted this, or at the very least come to terms with it.

Geordie01 · 17/02/2022 17:11

I wouldn’t want to get her in trouble, but I think if one of our local PC’s came and explained the rules to her she might take it a bit more seriously

I’m absolutely gobsmacked by this, who on earth do you think you are. You really REALLY need to mind your own business and get over yourself. If you’re really that bothered by this which you clearly are as you’re considering reporting your ‘friend’ to the POLICE, just avoid her for a few days

cherrysthename · 17/02/2022 17:13

This way of thinking is getting out of control.

cherrylicious2 · 17/02/2022 17:13

Lateral flow tests are for when you don't have symptoms. She should do a pcr or just stay home until she feels better anyway.

DSGR · 17/02/2022 17:14

If you’ve had all your vaccines then really, you don’t have anything to fear. Those who are CEV will be taking extra precautions.
We as a country need to move on. It’s not sad at all. In March 2020 Covid was a mass killer, it’s not anymore

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 17/02/2022 17:19

@cherrylicious2

Lateral flow tests are for when you don't have symptoms. She should do a pcr or just stay home until she feels better anyway.
People cannot afford to just say at home if they are well enough to work
BoredZelda · 17/02/2022 17:31

Her DD’s LFTs were negative, but friend doesn’t think she does the tests ‘properly’, so it probably can’t be relied upon as being accurate.

No point in her doing her own tests in that case.

Ricksteinsfishwife · 17/02/2022 17:35

Gosh op. You know self isolation requirement stops next week right?

You’re not really thinking of calling rhe police and asking rhem to go round and see her, not really?

Do you maybe struggle with sone anxiety around Covid?

VikingOnTheFridge · 17/02/2022 17:37

Are you in the UK? There is no legal obligation for a person experiencing symptoms to take a test.

Wreath21 · 17/02/2022 17:44

What you really have to ask yourself is: are you prepared to lose this friendship and many others? Because if you grass your friend up, she will despise you forever - and quite probably tell everyone else that you are a grass, and she would be quite right to do so.
She isn't 'breaking the law', there is no legal requirement to do LFTs. While the local police would probably have enough sense to tell you to go and fuck yourself, let's not forget that a lot of the filth really really enjoyed the pandemic and a green light to act like some dictator's goon squad, particularly when there was a chance to harass and bully women or minorities.

Learn to mind your own business.

Blubells · 17/02/2022 17:49

I also don’t know if I should report her

To the Covid Police?!

Is this a wind up??

Alliswells · 17/02/2022 17:53

Ach would you ever wise up!

Your friend has a head cold and can't afford to be off work so you are actually considering reporting her to the police so they can visit her to explain Covid rules?????????????
What the hell???

With friends like you who needs enemies!

Oh and just so you know most of the country are walking around with covid and not isolating anymore. And another wee bit of info for you ...legally isolating ends in 2 weeks.

Alliswells · 17/02/2022 17:54

@cherrysthename

This way of thinking is getting out of control.
Mental isn't it!!!!
Ricksteinsfishwife · 17/02/2022 17:55

Op, have you even thought this through properly or are you maybe panicking?

What would you say to the police. My friend is feeling rough, it might be Covid, it might not, she’s not tested, could you send an officer round to make her test.

You must understand she’s under no legal requirement to test right? There is no police officer who will visit her and ask her to test. They will not ask her to isolate just in case.

OliveTree75 · 17/02/2022 17:56

I wouldn’t want to get her in trouble, but I think if one of our local PC’s came and explained the rules to her she might take it a bit more seriously.

Eee that’s cheered me upGrin as if.
Who even cares at this point?