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Covid

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Original poster

Friend might have covid but won’t test because she doesn’t want to isolate.

155 replies

LemonViolets · 17/02/2022 15:49

What can I say to convince her she has to test?
Or, can I/should I report her if she refuses.

My friend has two teenage DC’, which is probably how she caught it, one of them pretty much her entire group of friend tested positive last week, but her LFT was negative.
Although, friend has said several times before that she doesn’t think her DD takes the LFT properly, so I don’t know how true the negative test is.

For the last couple of days friend has been complaining about feeling rough and says he has a head cold, I told her she should test but she said they only have a couple of LFT left so she doesn’t want to waste them on what is probably just a cold.
Today we spoke on the phone and she was coughing quite a bit with a chesty sounding cough and she sounded really horse, I told her again to take a LFT but she said she can’t, and after a bit of prodding she admitted if she tests positive she won’t be able to work (cash in hand second job so no ability to claim anything and she really needs the money) and she won’t be able to go and stay with her boyfriend while her kids go away for half term next week.
She said she’d rather wait until she had worked this weekend and traveled to her boyfriends house and then test next week if she still feels rotten.

I can understand how disappointing having to change plans is, but I think putting people on the trains she will be travelling on and the people she would be working for over the weekend at a potential risk is not worth it.
and does she really want to potentially expose her boyfriend.
She said no but she doesn’t know if she has covid, so she’ll just wait and see next week.

I think she is being really short sighted and selfish but I don’t know what to say to make her see.

I also don’t know if I should report her if she does continue with her plans regardless.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Myinsidevoice · 17/02/2022 16:25

Only in England self isolation is ending so really depends on what nation op lives in.

I’m in agreement with you here. I understand that lots of people are sick of isolating but I hate the comment that it’s just a cold! It might be “just a cold” for some but it definitely isn’t for others and those people are the ones who are suffering.
I don’t think you can report her unless she tests positive and is breaking lockdown rules. Sadly it is up to her to get herself tested.
Could you drop off some LFT’s at her door to use?
Other than that I’d leave her to it, she’s being silly and is risking her loved ones and colleagues by spreading it.

changingstages · 17/02/2022 16:25

@FairyCakeWings

Covid I’d just a cold now, she’s right not to put herself in financial jeopardy because of a cold. Maybe if you’re that determined she should take a test, you could offer to pay her the wage that she will lose, and offer to have her teenagers for a week when she’s recovered so she can still have the time she was looking forward to?

Quite a few people I know have had a chesty cough recently and felt rough, we’ve all tested more than once and none of us have covid. Other viruses and infections still exist alongside covid.

Mind your own business.

I totally understand what you're saying but it really isn't just a cold now. For some people it is. For some, like my young daughter, it's been an absolute shitshow of a disease, and has left her in such a state. That's the bloody horrible thing about it.

I know we have to move to a 'living with it' phase and for the most part I'm actually pretty glad about that but if we're going to be able to live with it then we need to move to a system of voluntary self isolation - as we do for noro or chickenpox - and people will be very reluctant to support that for something that's apparently 'just a cold'. It's not for everyone.

Ratherdogsthanpeople · 17/02/2022 16:26

I wouldn’t want to get her in trouble, but I think if one of our local PC’s came and explained the rules to her she might take it a bit more seriously.

Does this seriously add up in your head?

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 17/02/2022 16:27

You can't call anyone to report her.

She hasn't tested, no positive test means she isn't breaking any rules.

I would avoid her for 10 days and then continue as normal 🤷🏻‍♀️

BobbinHood · 17/02/2022 16:29

Her only mistake is not just telling you she’s done some LFTs and they were negative. It’s not really about being “disappointed” at missing a trip away, is it? It’s the fact she’d lose money. Anyone who thinks a proportion of the population haven’t been doing exactly this to avoid losing income all the way through this pandemic is unbelievably naive. And at this stage, can’t say I blame them. Roll on the removal of the requirement.

maryberryslayers · 17/02/2022 16:29

With friends like you, who needs enemies!

Mind your own bloody business OP. Let her get on with her life. No one cares anymore.

Rooroobear · 17/02/2022 16:29

Do you realise how many people will have covid and not know, going on public transport, walking around and spreading it everywhere. It’s life now so calm down. Isolation ends soon so what’s the point. So many people will have gone into work knowing they have it because people can’t afford to be off. Get over it….it leaves people with not a lot of choice. Got to work knowing I have it or stay at home not getting any money and struggling to pay bills and feed my family!! Unfortunately that’s how it is. Report her, they won’t do anything. Mind your own business and stay away from her while she has it.

Ratherdogsthanpeople · 17/02/2022 16:30

@Myinsidevoice

Only in England self isolation is ending so really depends on what nation op lives in.

It ended about a month ago where I live. It’s not just a cold for many people, but if you’re vaccinated you can’t hide anymore.

pucelleauxblanchesmains · 17/02/2022 16:34

Self isolation is ending really soon, she can't afford not to work, I would absolutely leave it and I say this as someone resolutely stuck inside on day 8 after the world's faintest line that took ten minutes to appear.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 17/02/2022 16:34

Mind your business. Isolation is ending in a matter of weeks.

Embarrassing that you'd want police to waste their time on this.

FairyCakeWings · 17/02/2022 16:35

@changingstages I’m sorry to hear about your dd.

Covid isn’t as harmful as it once was, even for the people who are most likely to be badly affected by it. It is just a cold now, but that doesn’t mean it’s never going to be harmful. ‘Just a cold’ has always had the power to turn into much more and leave a small minority of people seriously ill or worse.

Covid is the same as that now and if everyone who ever has cold symptoms stops functioning until they are completely recovered, the country would shut down. Most people get at least one cold a year but it wouldn’t be normal to have norovirus or chicken pox that frequently.

Original poster
LemonViolets · 17/02/2022 16:37

I thought self isolation was taken pretty seriously, I know I wouldn’t want to get a train with someone who probably has covid.
As others have said, it’s not ”just a cold” for a lot of people. My brother has CF, covid could kill him.

This is what the police force in our area say on covid restrictions.

You are breaking the law if you don’t self-isolate.
You could be fined £1,000 for breaking these restrictions.
If you repeatedly breach self isolation measures you can be fined up to £10,000.

We are seeking to resolve situations where people appear to be or are contravening the government advice on physical social distancing and the self-isolation measure before resorting to enforcement and issuing fines.

If you or someone you know would like clarification on the measures or you would like to report a serious breach of the measures contact us below.

OP posts:
s1h2o3na · 17/02/2022 16:37

i know its really hard to get your head around but its likely to be announced next week that they are removing the legal obligation to isolate

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 17/02/2022 16:37

@LemonViolets

I thought self isolation was taken pretty seriously, I know I wouldn’t want to get a train with someone who probably has covid. As others have said, it’s not ”just a cold” for a lot of people. My brother has CF, covid could kill him.

This is what the police force in our area say on covid restrictions.

You are breaking the law if you don’t self-isolate.
You could be fined £1,000 for breaking these restrictions.
If you repeatedly breach self isolation measures you can be fined up to £10,000.

We are seeking to resolve situations where people appear to be or are contravening the government advice on physical social distancing and the self-isolation measure before resorting to enforcement and issuing fines.

If you or someone you know would like clarification on the measures or you would like to report a serious breach of the measures contact us below.

But you only legally have to self isolate if you test positive. She hasn’t. You can’t force someone to test.
ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 17/02/2022 16:38

Not taking a covid test with vague symptoms isn’t a ‘serious breach of the measures’.

DSGR · 17/02/2022 16:38

I actually think isolation is ending in a matter of days not weeks! OP you’re being ridiculous. Covid is just a cold for the vast majority of people now. The majority with vaccines are very well protected, the vulnerable are taking precautions and hopefully will be getting another jab before too long. The police are NOT going to come out. You are not really being a friend, just paranoid

slaybell · 17/02/2022 16:38

Ok let me see if I've got this right....

You want to report your friend to the police because she may or may not have covid and doesn't want to take a test for fear of losing her income when in a week's time it won't be necessary (in England) anyway?

Wow... with friends like you....

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 17/02/2022 16:40

Do absolutely nothing.

It ends next week anyway.

bluepeacock · 17/02/2022 16:40

You keep your beak out, that's what you do.

I really thought we were past these kind of covid-stasi threads now.

Original poster
LemonViolets · 17/02/2022 16:40

Maybe I’m just a bit over cautious because of how our family have treated it for the last two years.

It’s clear from this thread any many others on MN that most people don’t care if they catch it or pass on to anyone the come into contact with.
Which I think is terribly sad, I guess I just expected better from my friend.

OP posts:
OnwardsAndSideways1 · 17/02/2022 16:41

She hasn't tested positive though, so she has no reason to isolate?

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 17/02/2022 16:42

@LemonViolets

Maybe I’m just a bit over cautious because of how our family have treated it for the last two years.

It’s clear from this thread any many others on MN that most people don’t care if they catch it or pass on to anyone the come into contact with.
Which I think is terribly sad, I guess I just expected better from my friend.

I don’t think that’s true at all. I have followed all covid rules, isolated when necessary etc. However you want to report your friend when she hasn’t tested positive. There is no legal requirement to test.
OnwardsAndSideways1 · 17/02/2022 16:42

I care, and am still testing, but I don't have infinite LFT's, we all had colds this week and used up a good few, and given the asymptomatic and untested covid positive people are all around us, we may just give up testing soon as well.

Shadappayourface · 17/02/2022 16:45

@LemonViolets

Maybe I’m just a bit over cautious because of how our family have treated it for the last two years.

It’s clear from this thread any many others on MN that most people don’t care if they catch it or pass on to anyone the come into contact with.
Which I think is terribly sad, I guess I just expected better from my friend.

Life goes on!!! My sibling has stage 4 cancer they are going about life as normal, even when their child caught covid they still didn't get it and they weren't terrified of getting it either. They go into work, having meetings with different people etc! Covid is now like the normal flu, yes some people might get it worse than others but for the majority of people it is not harmful. You can't live your life like this forever.

Avoid her if you must, but it's really grating having busy bodies like you telling everyone how to live their lives now!!

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 17/02/2022 16:46

I've just got over it op. Given to me, by we think a friend that should have been isolating.

It was a bad cold. I am CV so it did go on my chest and I needed antibiotics, but I am pretty relived I've got it out of the way if I'm honest.

Just leave her to it. Just don't see her for 10 days if you're that bothered. You are not a friend to her anyway, so you'll be doing her a favour