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Original poster

Boyfriend announced he’s an anti vaxxer

226 replies

Gonnagetgoing · 15/02/2022 21:27

So been seeing someone since November and he dropped the bombshell that he’s an anti vaxxer.

I’ve had both vaccines plus booster as it’s the right thing to do.

Are we doomed or should I get over this?

OP posts:
thewhatsit · 16/02/2022 11:24

@Wolfiefan

Has he chosen not to get the COVID vaccine because he feels the risk to him of covid is small and he has particular medical reasons to avoid it OR Is he a loon who thinks all vaccines are just big pharma raking in the cash for poisoning us all? First I could live with. Second would see me running for the hills.
This.

Hasn’t had it personally but happy it is available and would encourage elderly or vulnerable relatives to get it - would be fine with this.

Hasn’t had it because it’s all a global conspiracy and Bill Gates and blah blah - I would have stopped the conversation when it started and walked away.

FflosFfantastig · 16/02/2022 11:24

Pokey post. The OP hasn't even been back.

thewhatsit · 16/02/2022 11:28

@Lunificent

I’m not sure why people are asking the OP to explain what she means by ‘anti-vaxx.’ I’ve never heard of the phrase used in any other context than covid. I’m sure we can extrapolate her meaning.
Really? Because I’m not. On Mumsnet “anti vaxxer” just seems to mean “has not been vaccinated” whereas I don’t think that’s really the correct use of the term at all.
donquixotedelamancha · 16/02/2022 11:58

So you now admit that there are circumstances under which it wouldn't be "blind to reason" to decide not to get jabbed?

I commented on OP's 'antivax' BF. You asked about a hypothetical scenario where someone is merely selfish- I do agree that is rational.

Perhaps wait for the full context before attacking someone as irrational and silly.

My sincere apologies for not providing a comprehensive list of possible reasons people migh

donquixotedelamancha · 16/02/2022 11:59

...might refuse vaccinations and possible causes.

Hmum0fthree · 16/02/2022 12:02

@Gonnagetgoing if you do bother to come back...

Depends is it a case of "I'm not having this vaccine because covid is a load of crap made up by the government"

OR

"I don't want this particular vaccine as it has not yet been tested on humans for X amount of time and feel my own immune system works well enough to cover me right now"
?

If its the second option then everyone needs to get a grip, would you have judged him 3 years ago if it was about the flu vaccine?

Kendodd · 16/02/2022 12:07

I used to know an anti vaxxer, very vocal about it not being safe despite him having additional cover risk factors. He's dead now from covid.

Original poster
Gonnagetgoing · 16/02/2022 12:17

I'm back - just had very busy morning at work!

So he doesn't like the idea of experimental drugs in his body. His personal choice. Doesn't go around telling others not to have it.

He works for himself at the moment so suppose he thinks he is low risk.

His friend is a research scientist and apparently it takes 10 years to develop and vaccine so he is wondering how they developed one in less than a year and also doesn't like the idea that you cannot sue them in event of person falling sick or suffering side effects. Doesn't want a flu jab again either. Seems to think immune systems will cope with it.

Trouble is he likes travelling and wants to travel and says where he would go most is Cyprus as he has family there. He isn't a stupid man at all, not uneducated but he is stubborn and rushes into things.

Thing is I don't think he means all vaccines because then he wouldn't have polio etc.

Only discussed last night via Whatsapp and then didn't talk about it later on...

OP posts:
Buzzinwithbez · 16/02/2022 12:19

@Kendodd

I used to know an anti vaxxer, very vocal about it not being safe despite him having additional cover risk factors. He's dead now from covid.
Was it the op's boyfriend? That solves her dilemma.
Original poster
Gonnagetgoing · 16/02/2022 12:20

[quote Hmum0fthree]@Gonnagetgoing if you do bother to come back...

Depends is it a case of "I'm not having this vaccine because covid is a load of crap made up by the government"

OR

"I don't want this particular vaccine as it has not yet been tested on humans for X amount of time and feel my own immune system works well enough to cover me right now"
?

If its the second option then everyone needs to get a grip, would you have judged him 3 years ago if it was about the flu vaccine?[/quote]
@Hmum0fthree - it seems to be the second answer.

I don't think he's into conspiracy theories - not asked him that yet. If he was then I'd be out of there completely. I used to have a close friend of that who was into all that, saw David Icke speak. Her husband has had 3 mini strokes in a short space of time and she's a teacher so think she has had vaccines now. But unsure...

OP posts:
dizzydizzydizzy · 16/02/2022 12:20

What @L40Postcode said.

Original poster
Gonnagetgoing · 16/02/2022 12:20

@Kendodd

I used to know an anti vaxxer, very vocal about it not being safe despite him having additional cover risk factors. He's dead now from covid.
@Kendodd - he says he isn't vocal about it.
OP posts:
Original poster
Gonnagetgoing · 16/02/2022 12:22

@FflosFfantastig

Pokey post. The OP hasn't even been back.
@FflosFfantastig - because it was late last night and I've been really busy at work this morning!
OP posts:
chaosrabbitland · 16/02/2022 12:22

iv had my vaccine , but if i met a nice bloke who ticked all my boxes and made me happy the last thing id be worrying about is hes an anti vaxxer , there are more important things to worry about when it comes to someones character , but by all means listen to the majority of the stupid responses here and dump the poor sod

Aderyn21 · 16/02/2022 12:25

I wouldn't care. It's not unreasonable to have concerns about this vaccine - it was only after millions of people had been vaccinated that we discovered some issues with blood clots in AZ and heart problems with Pfizer. And some women are reporting menstrual disturbances. Now most of us have weighed up the risks versus the benefits and concluded that the protection from Covid was worth the risk, but I'd certainly not condemn someone who has assessed their own level of personal risk and decided not to go ahead.
Having concerns about covid vacs I'd not the same as being anti childhood immunisation or anti jabs with a long history of use.

HarrietteNightingale · 16/02/2022 12:28

It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me although I've had them all. He has thought it through and rightly or wrongly come to a conclusion about what he wants to put into his own body. It's up to you but I would respect his view.

MissAngorian · 16/02/2022 12:29

If his friend really is a research scientist he would know that the COVID vaccine was developed based on years of research into other, similar respiratory illnesses like SARS.

You obviously have a concern about the relationship, can you overcome it? That's the bottom line.

Original poster
Gonnagetgoing · 16/02/2022 12:29

@chaosrabbitland

iv had my vaccine , but if i met a nice bloke who ticked all my boxes and made me happy the last thing id be worrying about is hes an anti vaxxer , there are more important things to worry about when it comes to someones character , but by all means listen to the majority of the stupid responses here and dump the poor sod
@chaosrabbitland - he actually is really nice.

He's 52 but very health conscious - member of health club and goes a lot. Not a health freak.

We won't have kids now as I am too old.

I guess it's different for me as I'm not a rule breaker and me and family have health conditions but as long as he's safe and doesn't affect me then that's good enough for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gonnagetgoing · 16/02/2022 12:30

@MissAngorian

If his friend really is a research scientist he would know that the COVID vaccine was developed based on years of research into other, similar respiratory illnesses like SARS.

You obviously have a concern about the relationship, can you overcome it? That's the bottom line.

@MissAngorian - I think I can overcome it - there really isn't that much wrong with the relationship otherwise, he's funny, kind etc.
OP posts:
Original poster
Gonnagetgoing · 16/02/2022 12:31

@HarrietteNightingale

It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me although I've had them all. He has thought it through and rightly or wrongly come to a conclusion about what he wants to put into his own body. It's up to you but I would respect his view.
@HarrietteNightingale - actually you're right.

His body his choice.

OP posts:
OliveRudge · 16/02/2022 12:34

Doomed. I’m deliberating breaking up with my hairdresser for similar views so the thought of sharing bodily fluids with someone so dim would definitely put me off.

Although, thinking about it, it might make my hair white and curl which could kill two birds with one stone…

luckylavender · 16/02/2022 13:07

It wouldn't suit me but what does ant-vax mean? All vaccinations? Just this one? Just this one for now? Why? What about children?

luckylavender · 16/02/2022 13:08

Also how have you only just found out? Did he mislead you?

steppemum · 16/02/2022 13:14

I have zero patience with this stand point.

There area very, very few people who I respect for this decsion, or even understand it at all.

So for me, yes it would be a deal breaker, unless for some reason he fell into that very very small group.

Can't argue with stupid, and this will be one of many I would think

steppemum · 16/02/2022 13:19

His friend is a research scientist and apparently it takes 10 years to develop and vaccine so he is wondering how they developed one in less than a year

go bakc and read the 500 threads that were around 18 months ago as to why it was so easy to do.
It includes such basic things as usually you do stage one testing, then have to apply for funding based on your results, then, once you have funding (which can take forever) you do stage 2 testing etc.
With covid, funding was available, so that could do the stage 1,2,3 etc testing with no gaps, and even overlap them so start testing stage 2 while still testing stage 1.

Couldn't be doing with it myself.