Why I'm angry about the May parties at Downing Street - share your stories

[ThirdTimeIucky]

No agenda, just a whinge to demonstrate rhe millions of individual reasons people are angry about BYOB parties in Downing Street whilst the rest of us were in Lockdown. I've heard so many stories of loved ones dying alone, loneliness and heartbreak.

For me, when the party took place on the 20th, I had been struggling in a domestic abuse situation for months. In lockdown. I'd been on my own trying to deal with this situation. I felt like I was trapped. It was an incredibly painful and difficult time of my life. Three days later, feeling terribly guilty, and despite the restrictions, if went to my sisters as the situation had become so bad. But because of those restrictions, I stayed in that situation for so much longer than I should have done.

It’s also dangerous because if he did need to instruct the population to do something for our safety and greater good there would not be the compliance there was in 2020. I fear this damage will go deep and won’t be allayed by Boris going. He has damaged “the contact” between government and the electorate. Such a bloody fool and anyone that voted for him.

BTW. Though maybe I should have put BYO? But the booze at the PM's party was flowing on us in more ways than one.

@MsTSwift

It’s also dangerous because if he did need to instruct the population to do something for our safety and greater good there would not be the compliance there was in 2020. I fear this damage will go deep and won’t be allayed by Boris going. He has damaged “the contact” between government and the electorate. Such a bloody fool and anyone that voted for him.

It definitely has. Even if Johnson's party would let him, can you just imagine him trying to introduce more restrictions now?

Because I was stupidly really grateful to be allowed a 15 minute visit to my dying DM in full PPE.

This was a woman who had endured months in a TB sanitorium as a young child. An experience that she never got over. It meant she hated being alone and isolated. The days before she died alone in a side room, only seeing staff in masks and full PPE must have been utterly terrifying for her.

Anyone at that party can just fuck off.

@Francescaisstressed

I heard an audio of a woman today, absolutely broken hearted saying 'did I do the wrong thing. Why did I listen to Boris and not see my dying mother'. And that's my issue. I listened and followed the rules, and I didn't get to say goodbyes to do many people because of that, and knowing the rules were broken by the man who made them I feel now like I made a mistake. People have to live with that for the rest of their lives. He needs to resign, otherwise it really does allow them to get away with anything.

I hope the party kick him out. If he won't follow his own rules he's unlikely to resign. He thinks rules don't apply to him. I hope the MPs have a vote of no confidence (or whatever they need to do).

When this pandemic started, most people did the right thing and helped each other but now people are questioning that and there's a definite shift I think towards 'well it doesn't affect me so I don't care' as an attitude, because of the actions of Boris and those around him, including the civil servants.

Not only Boris needs to go but all those at that party, for a start. There is no excuse.

I think all the politicians of both parties need him to go - his remaining in charge degrades the whole system and their credibility. It’s actually a terrifying prospect if the public disengage and refuse to be governed by the government.

I think people are belatedly wondering that if the staff on number ten weren't remotely worried about catching a virus outside, why the hell we're they? And they're angry with themselves as well as government, for being so manipulated.

I let slip on mumsnet at one point that my child remained in school throughout the lockdowns despite not being a key worker as she has an ehcp and disabilities.

I was absolutely ripped apart for being so selfish. It was my lowest experience in a long time and I genuinely cried with how vicious the comments were.

It really upsets me that I had that response for putting my child first with the one thing she could still access yet the whole time there were fucking parties and eye test trips.

My daughter and I are not the selfish ones.

I haven't read the full thread but wanted to share this from Rory Kinnear

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jan/12/rory-kinnear-no-10-lockdown-party-buried-sister?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

@Mumofsend

I let slip on mumsnet at one point that my child remained in school throughout the lockdowns despite not being a key worker as she has an ehcp and disabilities.

I was absolutely ripped apart for being so selfish. It was my lowest experience in a long time and I genuinely cried with how vicious the comments were.

It really upsets me that I had that response for putting my child first with the one thing she could still access yet the whole time there were fucking parties and eye test trips.

My daughter and I are not the selfish ones.

There were some proper arseholes on here during the lockdowns. Gave some people the sort of opportunity to bully that they were never going to pass up on. Only some vulnerable people count.

[quote Brainstorm21]I haven't read the full thread but wanted to share this from Rory Kinnear

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jan/12/rory-kinnear-no-10-lockdown-party-buried-sister?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other[/quote]
This heartfelt piece echoes what many families have been through. Utterly devastating and poignantly written.

I can only imagine the grief and anger of these families. This cannot be put right.

@VikingOnTheFridge it was truly awful. I tried to make the point once I had had pages of abuse that we are working to protect our vulnerable and that should have meant all vulnerable, not just those vulnerable to the virus.

[quote Mumofsend]@VikingOnTheFridge it was truly awful. I tried to make the point once I had had pages of abuse that we are working to protect our vulnerable and that should have meant all vulnerable, not just those vulnerable to the virus.[/quote]
Horrific.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jan/12/rory-kinnear-no-10-lockdown-party-buried-sister

One thing I'm angry about is that so many people allowed themselves to be taken in by the "rules". Why did they do it? Mass hysteria?

It was quite clear to me that the rules were excessive and inhumane and would lead to severe problems. It was also clear that I was going to be wiped out financially. I therefore ignored them, along with those of my friends who thought along similar lines. So while the financial meltdown came to pass, I was psychologically relatively okay. I also encouraged my teenagers to see whoever they could. They did not need to be cooped up in a tiny house with me when they should have been off around the world.

But I still wonder why so many people fell for it.

But I still wonder why so many people fell for it.

I don’t think it’s a case of ‘falling for it’ - look at how many people have died of Covid despite strict lock downs.

Look at how much pressure there has been in healthcare services.

Lock downs were instigated to enable the NHS to function, not to save lives.

However, more than that, society depends on people being able to trust the government and obey rules, otherwise it can’t function.

I’m also angry that they are using this rightful furore to distract from other things. Like nearly 400people a day are still dying. That health services are still stretched to breaking point. That they are just basically giving up and doing nothing about so much, Covid related and non-Covid related. The damaging legislations they are pushing their ugh in other matters.

They are using their past bad behaviour as a screen for their current bad behaviour. It’s disgusting.

I was certainly more annoyed with the self-proclaimed “lockdown police” than with “lockdown breakers”.

Back in April-May 2020 we already knew about (i) a very low risk of outdoor spread and (ii) low level of surface transmission risk. Wuhan studies clearly supported these conclusions and we discussed them at length on the MN “Data” thread (that has been running since March 2020).

It was also clear that in May 2020 community transmission dropped to relatively low levels. We still had issues with hospital and care home spread hence heartbreaking and cruel rules on hospital visits.

Many people knew/felt that. The beach / park / picnic photos from May 2020 show that a significant percent of the population moved on with their lives irrespective of the government messaging. So did the government itself (as we know now) but they were not the only ones.

I buried my mum three days after this party. We could only have me, dad and sisters present.

Family came and lined up outside, meters apart. We waved. That's it.

We buried mum and stood around fir a bit awkwardly wondering if we could leave dad alone. We went to his house and chatted with difficulty through a window.

It was shit, not at all how anyone would want their funeral to be.

Meanwhile, my older son really struggled with lockdown and everyday was tough and an utter grind. No one knew how long it would last. Really really dark times for our family.

A fucking party at that time has left me spitting. The absolute cock.

@GingerGetThePopcorn

I think everyone who's shared their heartbreaking story on this thread should write it on a piece of paper and send it to 10 Downing Street, London SW1A 2AA. Let them know what you were doing while they were making the most of the lovely weather.

I agree.
These stories should be collated and sent to Downing Street and mps.

It's an absolute disgrace what has been going on while people followed rules and suffered.

A beautifully written piece by Rory Kinnear. The previous article about his sister is also wonderful - sadly his hope that the pandemic may bring about positive change seems ever further away.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/may/12/rory-kinnearsister-protect-vulnerable-coronavirus-rory-kinnear

The beach / park / picnic photos from May 2020 show that a significant percent of the population moved on

This was all legal, if people stayed within household groups. People were still observing the rules.

I obeyed the rules and didn't see my gran for a while, she went down hill rapidly because she was lonely. A year later, we lost her. One of covids hidden victims.

Screw you, Boris.

This was all legal, if people stayed within household groups. People were still observing the rules.

The photos seem to suggest that many didn’t’ “stay within household groups”. Honestly - good for them.

Boris can take his apology and shove it.

All the times I drive up the motorway to provide respite care, being terrified of being stopped. Having print outs of the legal exemptions to provide care but still worrying because of stories in my carer's network about people being arrested as the police wouldn't accept their reasons.

Having to try and signal to my DM through a care home window because I wasn't allowed in to see her. And her dementia meaning that she didn't understand why I couldn't, and why I wasn't allowed to bring her home. The memory of her holding her hand up to the window so that we could "touch" palms still makes me cry now. Even though she's still with us, she's lost so much cognitive ability - all those months that I lost with her as she wasn't even supposed to go outside - and now she doesn't know who I am any more.

But hey, it's fine because Boris and Carrie got to chill outside with their baby over a nice bit of cheese and wine and call it work.

The naked contempt that this Government has for the public utterly enrages me.