Why I'm angry about the May parties at Downing Street - share your stories

[ThirdTimeIucky]

No agenda, just a whinge to demonstrate rhe millions of individual reasons people are angry about BYOB parties in Downing Street whilst the rest of us were in Lockdown. I've heard so many stories of loved ones dying alone, loneliness and heartbreak.

For me, when the party took place on the 20th, I had been struggling in a domestic abuse situation for months. In lockdown. I'd been on my own trying to deal with this situation. I felt like I was trapped. It was an incredibly painful and difficult time of my life. Three days later, feeling terribly guilty, and despite the restrictions, if went to my sisters as the situation had become so bad. But because of those restrictions, I stayed in that situation for so much longer than I should have done.

Is anybody surprised. I’m not.

Even if you did vote Conservative in the last election that doesn't mean you can't disagree with or be angry at some of the actions that people in that political party have done. Especially when these actions have taken place as part of a situation you didn't know was going to happen at the time you voted.

I'm shocked this needs spelling out tbh.

Yes, they were working together on the same premises: so were NHS staff, who were suffering badly, putting their lives at risk, unable to see their families for weeks on end, and they weren't "spilling outside", organising BYOB parties in the sunshine.

Just imagine NHS staff going and sitting under a tree on hospital premises with their colleagues and a few bottles of wine? It's inconceivable. Not least because they were witnessing death ( and the inability of people dying to see their loved ones) daily which those at Number 10 were insulated from and obviously had no problems ignoring. Evil bastards.

Unbelievable. He didn’t realise he was at a party?! It’s offensive that he would even think such an excuse would suffice.

He didn’t ‘realise that he was at a party’! If it wasn’t such a bloody offensive attempt at an apology it would actually be funny!

Unable to visit my disabled daughter in her care home. Unable to see parents. At home with children who were unable to go to school.

Meanwhile the lot running the country were partying on. Despicable, heartless, lacking awareness of what was going on and what others went though and today shirking the questions the voters are asking.

Time to go Boris and Co. Anyone at that party should be fined like others were at the time.

Well people should elect Keir Starmer then. Whatever else you think of him he wouldn’t do this. Buts he’s not a laugh is he and he has boring hair.

What about his wife attending these ‘work functions’?

He also seems to have an exceptional memory of something that happened almost 2 years ago. He remembers what time he arrived, how long he stayed and what he did straight afterwards. This is the same man who last week couldn’t remember that he had changed phones!

@MrsWhites

What about his wife attending these ‘work functions’?

He also seems to have an exceptional memory of something that happened almost 2 years ago. He remembers what time he arrived, how long he stayed and what he did straight afterwards. This is the same man who last week couldn’t remember that he had changed phones!

He does, doesn't he! It's all a bit Pizza Express.

@MrsWhites

He didn’t ‘realise that he was at a party’! If it wasn’t such a bloody offensive attempt at an apology it would actually be funny!

Previously he said it was working people doing work. Now it is a works do. There are photos of him there, but his wife, child and IIRC his dog were there - is the baby/dog on the payroll?

Today is also the day that an enquiry has found that the contracts given out by Tories to their friends were illegally awarded. Guess at least this party 'apology' overshadows that illegal behaviour.

Illegal contracts, illegal parties. This is our PM and government.

And if anyone else says these people were working hard I will implode. I guess the PTSD from endless Zoom meetings (apparently Michael Gove worked very very hard on Zoom at this time, according to Sarah Vine) is just as real as PTSD from the NHS workers who also worked hard physically present in real life swamped in endless relentless horrific suffering and unrelenting death in inadequate PPE. These politicians and their family supporting them in their lies and idiocy need to all go and if the police won't prosecute them then at least we won't have the ongoing trauma of listening to their lies and idiocy.

I'm fairly certain that Martin Reynold's civil service employment contract includes something about not breaking the law. Yet, he's not even suspended.

It's unbelievable.

I do think there are lots of politicians and clearly also senior civil servants who have the 'us' and 'them' attitude that lead to this, thinking they rule us not serve us.

Plenty of Labour politicians behaved poorly with the expenses scandal and wasn't there that SNP MP who got on a train with confirmed covid?

I think there is rot across the politicial classes. There are some good MPs, but it's not a clean division on party lines and just changing the party in charge won't change the problems if civil servants are complicit. Not sure what the answer is, a new political party? Electoral reform?

Working at Downing Street is one big party apparently, sunbathing, drinking wine, bring your wife/kid/dog to work day!

What he said today was a complete insult to the people following the rules that day. My mother in law was trying to speak to her husband with dementia through a fucking window whilst him and his wife were trying to work out whether they were at a part or not!!

Maybe they should all have a pay cut and receive the starting salary of an NHS nurse for the next few years at least?

I do think they have too much money - they're able to insulate themselves from the shit they're causing far too much with their wealth. The whole argument that 80k a year isn't enough and they need to do jobs on the side shows such a massive lack of understanding of most people's lives it should disqualify anyone making it from doing that job immediately.

@theemperorhasnoclothes

I'm fairly certain that Martin Reynold's civil service employment contract includes something about not breaking the law. Yet, he's not even suspended.

It's unbelievable.

I do think there are lots of politicians and clearly also senior civil servants who have the 'us' and 'them' attitude that lead to this, thinking they rule us not serve us.

Plenty of Labour politicians behaved poorly with the expenses scandal and wasn't there that SNP MP who got on a train with confirmed covid?

I think there is rot across the politicial classes. There are some good MPs, but it's not a clean division on party lines and just changing the party in charge won't change the problems if civil servants are complicit. Not sure what the answer is, a new political party? Electoral reform?

The SNP MP got sacked, got thrown out of her party immediately, and is now facing police prosecution.

So not the same at all. It is the consequences that differ. Apparently only the Conservative party can do things without having to resign or face police investigation.

[quote LadyPenelope68]@Bordois
Yes, it does make my blood boil when someone is moaning about their child not having a party when others on this thread have experienced so much heartache. Clearly I’ve more of a heart and compassion than you clearly have.[/quote]
I shared details of a terminal illness and bereavement because that is what happened in my family in May. That doesn't mean I'm not heartbroken about all the so-called trivial things my DC and others have missed and the effect on their mental health. I still have plenty of empathy for children missing parties etc. These things are important and noone can have the time back.

I agree with @MrsDeaconClaybourne. Some absolutely heartbreaking stories have been shared on here but that doesn’t mean that it’s not sad that children were forced into such isolation and had their education disrupted in such a way. People are entitled to be pissed off that they were put in those situations by a man who can’t follow the same rules!

I was basically living in childrens hospital with my then 2 month old baby. Hed had brain surgery and then shunt was infected so within 24 hrs more surgery to remove. I was in middle of 2 weeks stuck in a room with just him. Not allowed to leave at all even for a walk as would breach covid rules. I felt like i was actually losing my mind. Hesring voices etc. No sleep at all and no one to talk to. The stress of a seriously ill newborn. No one allowed to visit not even my sil who is a nurse at hospital. No way to get clean clothes etc.

This was my 20th may 2020. With no support just fear.

I think it's also the cumulative nature of the small things which has affected people so badly. It's not that a child missed one party but otherwise continued life as normal. It's the overall effect of missed education, socialisation, hobbies, seeing family, missing life events for almost 2 years on and off, often in a context where their parents have additional stresses like money or health issues, lack of support etc.

Lost two uncles to covid in may 2020, they were elderly and had existing health issues. I had to set up a screen for my mum to watch her brothers' funerals over a live stream - we are in England and couldn't travel to NI. In normal times she would have been able to go and see them before they died, and have the normal process of the funeral.

My mil aged 20 years over the first lockdown, she's on her own and the mental impact on her was and is still huge.

It doesn't matter how big or small our sacrifice was, we all did our bit while our leader flouted the rules , we all lost out in some way or another and while it was awful and in some cases horrific we followed the rules. Boris Johnson is a cunt.

I heard an audio of a woman today, absolutely broken hearted saying 'did I do the wrong thing. Why did I listen to Boris and not see my dying mother'. And that's my issue. I listened and followed the rules, and I didn't get to say goodbyes to do many people because of that, and knowing the rules were broken by the man who made them I feel now like I made a mistake. People have to live with that for the rest of their lives. He needs to resign, otherwise it really does allow them to get away with anything.

@Francescaisstressed

I heard an audio of a woman today, absolutely broken hearted saying 'did I do the wrong thing. Why did I listen to Boris and not see my dying mother'. And that's my issue. I listened and followed the rules, and I didn't get to say goodbyes to do many people because of that, and knowing the rules were broken by the man who made them I feel now like I made a mistake. People have to live with that for the rest of their lives. He needs to resign, otherwise it really does allow them to get away with anything.

I agree with this. He's made us all feel like idiots, doubt ourselves, feel guilty and sad, because we followed the rules. We did what we believed was the right thing, to our own detriment. And his blatant and unrepentant arrogance in not following the rules makes mugs of us all.

This is how I felt when a person I thought was a good friend of mine flouted the rules while I, broken heartedly, followed them to my own and my family's detriment. She also made me feel like an idiot for doing the right thing while she carried on regardless. And I am feeling that rage again now.

That man has no shame and his mealy mouthed "apology" cuts no ice with me.

I am angry. I was 6 weeks into post first baby birth with PND severe birthing injuries so alone. Afraid. Scared. Frightened. Isolated. It was illegal for my mum to come and hold me. Hold my baby. Support me in a way I have never needed before.

It's an insult. A big Fuck you to us.

These stories are heartbreaking. I am so sorry for all of you who have lost those near and dear, or battling with illness, isolation, poor health. It is scandalous.

In May, my mother, 75, was struggling. Her partner of 25 years had left in the December and she was staying miles away. I had not seen her for 5 months. She was depressed and lonely.

My children celebrated their shared birthday, in a low key way, us 4 at home, zoom calls to GPs. No friends, no visitors. Told it was selfish to go to the shops, to drive, so I squirrelled away party food in April, a make do cake just in case as supplies were not available here and queues also made national news, a birthday drawer waa kept. It sounds trivial, but combined with wfh, home schooling, we tried hard to do the right thing.

Meanwhile, at party central, our elected politicians were living it up. I did not vote for this shower, BYW.