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I have a situation........

77 replies

MistressoftheDarkSide · 09/01/2022 13:59

I'm going to start this by saying, predictably, I am not intending to start any sort of bunfight or controversy, so while this is a personal situation, in order to avoid any more emotional overload I am going to frame it almost as a scientific abstract, because I have questions that as yet cannot be answered officially, and I need help - neutral, fact based help please, in order to correctly frame those questions when the time is right without pissing anyone off.

On Wednesday my DP, male, 52, collapsed with a serious brain bleed. Within 6 hours he was having life saving surgery to remove a clot from the brain. He came through it and we are now waiting to see the long term outcome. I am getting updated 2/3 times a day by ringing the ward as instructed.

At hospital number 1 he tested positive for Covid - he was asymptomatic, double vaxxed and had his booster almost one week exactly prior to this happening. He had complained of a couple of headaches in that week but they responded to normal painkillers. He and I had a quiet relaxed weekend. We did not go out at New Years and had one friend who visited, just recovered from Covid and negative on LFT. He worked on Tuesday, was fine in the evening, and his collapse occurred at around 5am on Wednesday morning.

My questions about this are:

Would the test be a blood test or a swab? I ask this because when I was allowed to see him before transfer (because at that stage I was being told death was absolutely a possibility, he was in semi seizure and I can't imagine swabbing would gave been an option, even prior to intubation and sedation which happened after we were notified of his test.

If it was a blood test result, might it be residual from the Covid we had mildly around the end of August?

As a close contact, and unvaccinated (just don't go there) when I got home I did an LFT which was negative- todays test is also negative and I will continue to test and isolate of course because after 14 days they will test him again and we might be able to visit - although we have to take that under medical advisement.

Test and trace called him (hollow laugh) and if course i answered- as ut was the day after and Asymptomatic Covid is the last thing on my mind they have graciously said they wont pursue me till Tuesday but contact details are mandatory. Everyone who was a contact are aware of the situation and as yet there are no reports if positive tests. Omicron has not been mentioned.

Further questions - he was on a ventilator due to the collapse and surgery for around 36 hours, and is now on minimal oxygen support but has a mild chest infection treated with antibiotics in the last 24 hours which the doctors say is 99% due to being on the ventilator not Covid, as it hasn't affected his breathing much.

Next 48 hours are obviously crucial, but they are already talking about transfer back to our local hospital rather than staying at the specialist unit, which us very encouraging but will of course depend on many variables so I remain pragmatic, stoic and a few more inches below the ceiling than I was on Wednesday (possibly the longest scariest day if my life so far and I've had some doozies, believe me)

Other issues are confusion, agitation etc - normal in the circumstances I'm told - but he's asking for me so I believe his memory might be okish so far. His left side is paralysed, but he has speech though slurry and jumbled- this is likely to improve as various medications are reduced.

A medication given to deal with agitation caused a spike in blood pressure, obviously not ideal in the circumstances so that has been stopped and he is stable again. His drain has been removed, and he has staples (actually he's probably going to live that down the line for various reasons.....yes I know ut sounds weird but if you knew him you'd totally get it).

Disclaimers - I not a fragile nor hysterical person. Knowledge and power are my watchwords, and I can absolutely ignore anything that I recognise as unlikely or unhelpful.

I'm putting this here objectively to gather any insights from those who may have knowledge or insight or can point me to anything I've missed in my forays around google.

I appreciate every case is different and ultimately it will be his Doctirs who can give me the accurate picture, but one if the ways I process trauma is to work through as much as I can until it "levels out in my brain". Compartmentalising is my thing.

So have at it if you like. Or not. I have a great family and friends support network so am covered emotionally, but my tendency to to analyse can be a little tedious especially as I am mindful everyone around us is in shock and highly anxious too.

So in some ways I'm hoping this might be the other outlet I need in order to keep the pressure if them to a minimum.

I really don't want this to become any sort of battleground- I don't want the thread deleted but if it offends, so be it.....

Oh, the phrase used is "intracerebular haemorrhage" but none if the medics have said stroke..... yet.

Thank you in advance.

OP posts:
MadeForThis · 26/01/2022 22:52

So sorry for your loss ❤️

BorisKilledMyHusband · 26/01/2022 22:55

So sorry for your loss. I lost my Dh to hospital acquired covid last year. Happy to help if I can - practically or emotionally. 💐

Icecreamsprinkles · 26/01/2022 22:58

Devastating news . I am so sorry for you and your family . I am glad to hear you have a good circle of support and hope you let them help support you with coping with this tragic loss

Oxborn · 26/01/2022 22:58

So sorry to hear your loss 🙏❤️

HumourReplacementTherapy · 26/01/2022 23:09

Oh I am so very sorry to hear of your loss, what a terrible shock for all of you.
ThanksI am glad you have some loving support xx

BeckyWithTheGoodHair010101 · 26/01/2022 23:20

I'm so deeply sorry for your loss Mistress. Thoughts are with you x

bettybadger · 26/01/2022 23:20

So so sorry to read this update - my heart goes out to you and your family xx

nocoolnamesleft · 26/01/2022 23:21

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the support of your friends and family can still be some comfort even at such a traumatic time.

RandomMess · 26/01/2022 23:33

So sorry for your loss Thanks

JadeandGreen · 26/01/2022 23:35

So so sorry for your loss Flowers

Itsthedramamick · 26/01/2022 23:43

Heartbreaking 💔 so sorry for your loss xx

rosyvalentine · 26/01/2022 23:45

Devastating for you OP. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Thanks

oatmilk4breakfast · 26/01/2022 23:47

I am so sorry for your loss.

ThreeLocusts · 26/01/2022 23:50

OP I'm so sorry. It is very clear from your posts how close you two were. Nothing can take that away from you.

My best friend died last April and I still miss her almost every day. Thing is though, when I think of her, it really feels as if she was here. I can almost see her sitting across the table from me, with her unmistakable smile, and it does me good. So maybe your relationship isn't over, just very, very different.

Kelly7889 · 27/01/2022 00:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Lalliella · 27/01/2022 00:18

So sorry for your loss OP Flowers

BelleHathor · 27/01/2022 08:10

So so sorry lovely Mistresses Flowers
I remember your beautiful streams of consciousness and DP always played a big usually funny role. Wishing you all the strength and love you need to get through this ❤

buckeejit · 27/01/2022 08:26

@MistressoftheDarkSide I'm so sorry for your loss, what a shock for you & your loved ones.

I'm glad you got to be with him & do the EOL privileges & hope that has g

buckeejit · 27/01/2022 08:27

*given you some small comfort. Will be thinking of you & please continue to vent here. It really does help get stuff out of your head in darker times & there's usually someone about at any hour.

Sending strength for the difficult days ahead 💐

Misspacorabanne · 27/01/2022 09:13

I'm so so sorry op. Flowers

Cornettoninja · 27/01/2022 09:23

Oh OP, I’m so sorry.

The ones we love leave such a deep scar when we lose them, it’ll be raw now but it will get easier to wear and you’ll be able to wear it with pride and love. Your love is yours and won’t be taken away from you.

Scianel · 27/01/2022 09:49

I am so, so sorry to hear this.

nojudgementhere · 27/01/2022 13:37

Devastating news, I'm really sorry. I hope you get all the help and support you need. Xx

Turquoisesea · 27/01/2022 15:49

I am so so sorry Flowers

buckeejit · 27/01/2022 20:21

Op, hope you're doing ok & please post either here or the bereavement board if you need support 💐

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