What grief stage are you at with the pandemic?

[IWannaWishYouANutNutsChristmas]

It's been a rough couple of years for most of us.

Where are you in the pandemic stages of grief?

Anything that has been shown to work before to control covid should be under consideration now.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.marieclaire.co.uk/life/health-fitness/steps-of-grief-725295/amp

www.verywellmind.com/the-new-normal-may-come-with-grief-5179566

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.wbur.org/cognoscenti/2021/06/24/confronting-covid-19-pandemic-related-grief-megan-devine

‘Pop psychology’ articles.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2021/12/23/opinion/covid-pandemic-grief.amp.html

www.channelnewsasia.com/asia/china-says-positive-signs-xian-covid-19-cases-ease-2411091

China are just starting now to get their Delta (and I do think it is Delta) outbreak under control and working towards suppression.

But look at what they actually had to do.

Semantically it comes down to what controlling it is - zero covid is off the table for us now. Vaccines whilst effective are not the heavy lifters they were so buying time to get more shots in (which we did with Alpha) is not necessarily a choice either (we are doing pretty well with that anyway).

So it becomes about management control I think - and watching London - that certainly is stablising and not doubling anymore. The massive doublings arent being seen. I guess the question is is that enough.

There is an argument I think for some further measures (in line for me with Step 3) so May last year. But beyond that the level of restrictions needed to get to a level it isnt going to come right back up the minute you release. Netherlands and Germany havent and both are spiking up again.

You cant outrun a Pandemic.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/4429003-Someone-somewhere-needs-to-articulate-the-lost-quality-of-life

Acceptance - pretty much all the way through - with a bit of depression every time cases go up and I either get health anxiety or sadness that things are being cancelled again . Then back to acceptance .

I've been through anger, boredom, exasperation at the disproportionate response to a vanishingly small chance of death in the healthy population. I expect to move towards abject irritation towards all those who brayed for continuous lickdowns and will soon start braying for salary increases as the UK hits a high inflationary period.

I expect to move towards high anxiety in relation to the chance of war with Russia and the Middle East as the focus on maintaining international relations faded and then sheer terror when swathes of the world declare war on China as the facts about Covid being man made emerge in full.

Frankly the pandemic has wrought nothing compared to what is coming and we face that significantly less well prepared than we were for Covid.

I also think the tide will turn against the NHS and the perpetual whingeing from a sector not facing redundancies will no longer be tolerated and will herald the introduction of a service based on a partial system of social insurance as in France and Germany.

[quote IWannaWishYouANutNutsChristmas]www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/4429003-Someone-somewhere-needs-to-articulate-the-lost-quality-of-life[/quote]
Hmm, that thread was a really important one, and while I think that grief is an appropriate description of some of the feelings some people have that go beyond the death of a loved one in this pandemic, the original screenshot for this thread with its descriptions of stages of grief feels rather inappropriately lighthearted or possibly sarky in comparison to the complicated and difficult things people are sharing.

I don't really understand what you mean OP and I don't relate to the stages you have posted.

Obviously some people have lost loved ones and other people have lost businesses etc. I feel great empathy for those people but how can 'we' all be going through these stages? We aren't. Even those who have lost loved ones or businesses.

My life has changed a lot since the start of the pandemic, some changes have been negative and other positive. As a previous poster has said, life since the beginning of time has been this way. Wars, diseases, earthquakes, economic crashes, these come along at regular intervals and people suffer. The best we can do for ourselves is to understand that life is not predictable. Once you accept this you can get on with enjoying the many other positive things that happen every day. That is the way my parents approached life, they learned it during the second world war, and my grandparents during the first world war and the flu pandemic. Every generation has had to learn this.

My stages have been:
1.This is weird

1. I'll try and get through it
2. Ok, everything's changed. I'll try and adjust
3. Shrug

I haven’t had any of these grief stages. It just doesn’t apply to everyone.
For me I’ve felt the following:

1. Excitement- the children don’t have to go to school.

1. Joy- no visitors in the house.

1. Contentment- still no visitors and I can start a refurb on my flat without people seeing the mess.

1. Worry- I don’t want to be unwell or have others unwell.

1. Happiness- it’s brought people together in a nice way.

I could go on and on. But for me it’s been a good two years. Definitely no grief stages for me or my family.

We are all very different and I’m terribly sorry for those who are unwell and have lost people. I’m talking purely about my experience of having lived through government restrictions. I haven’t enjoyed people suffering or being ill. I lost a friend to covid. I’m just describing my feelings regarding the two years of restrictions. I have enjoyed it a lot.

Surely if you never want any visitors or friends you can just tell people not to visit and never see your friends? Or if you don't want your children to go to school, you can home educate them? Or if you never ever want to go anywhere , you can just never go anywhere. You don't need a pandemic to do any of these things.

Yep, the previous thread was better, maybe because the graphic isn;t appropriate.

@Cissyandflora

I haven’t had any of these grief stages. It just doesn’t apply to everyone. For me I’ve felt the following:

1. Excitement- the children don’t have to go to school.

1. Joy- no visitors in the house.

1. Contentment- still no visitors and I can start a refurb on my flat without people seeing the mess.

1. Worry- I don’t want to be unwell or have others unwell.

1. Happiness- it’s brought people together in a nice way.

I could go on and on. But for me it’s been a good two years. Definitely no grief stages for me or my family.

We are all very different and I’m terribly sorry for those who are unwell and have lost people. I’m talking purely about my experience of having lived through government restrictions. I haven’t enjoyed people suffering or being ill. I lost a friend to covid. I’m just describing my feelings regarding the two years of restrictions. I have enjoyed it a lot.

I've had a couple of friends disappear because they have had the experience you had, as well as really enjoying it they've made big advances in career.

I live alone and have had many periods of being totally isolated because no one was prepared to meet even outside. My work was decimated, though I found alternatives to earn money.

I don't begrudge anyone who enjoyed it, but as far as friendships go, it's hard to know where to go from here or even if it's worth trying to make new ones. Many people seemed to have enjoyed restrictions so much, I imagine they will just abandon "friends" at the drop of a hat and it's probably not worth the initial time, effort, money.

The main lesson I have learned is be selfish - no one gives a damn about others, why should I? Mostly I just feel like an old fool!

I haven't seen any of number 5 on your list. In fact, some neighbourly relations have soured because of all this.

Hmm, that thread was a really important one, and while I think that grief is an appropriate description of some of the feelings some people have that go beyond the death of a loved one in this pandemic, the original screenshot for this thread with its descriptions of stages of grief feels rather inappropriately lighthearted or possibly sarky in comparison to the complicated and difficult things people are sharing.

I agree with this. I can guess the motivation re the op but don’t use other people sharing to make a superficial point.

Acceptance, but I haven’t been through the other stages and it’s pretty much been acceptance since the start. Just crack on, make the best of a bad job, it is what it is.

Acceptance - But not that it will end, instead that this is life from now on until we have a proper cure.

Some pp are referring to the point OP is trying to make

I don't know what that's meant to be, but grief, regardless of models, seems like the only right word for the loss of my 2019 life. I suppose some would say I should be grateful to have done the bulk of my (adult) life in a good place.

I didn't read the other thread because I thought it would tip me back into the depression stage.

@Thewiseoneincognito you cannot cure a virus - you can treat it, and certainly treatments are around that can help with that but it wont be cured.

Neither is it now going to disappear. Arguably Delta put pay to that but certainly Omicron has.

5. Happiness- it’s brought people together in a nice way.

Has it though? Each time we've been locked down I've been kept apart from the people (other than DH) I really want to be with.

There are no limitations really at present…. What’s the issue ?

My stages have been:
1.This is weird
2. I'll try and get through it
3. Ok, everything's changed. I'll try and adjust
4. Shrug

This. We've had (non-covid) family deaths, illness and major life changes in the last couple of years and it's those that I've grieved over.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

5. Happiness- it’s brought people together in a nice way.

Has it though? Each time we've been locked down I've been kept apart from the people (other than DH) I really want to be with.

I'm really curious about this one, hope the poster comes back.

Almost acceptance, but occasional moments of anger x