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Original poster

15 yr old doesn't want the vaccine.

411 replies

legohurts16 · 31/12/2021 22:40

My 15 yr old DD does not want the covid vaccine. She doesn't think the benefits outweigh the risks. She is very mature and has read up on the subject and is adamant that at the moment she doesn't want it.

Her reasons are that it was - a rushed vaccine with little testing- the illness is so mild in children and teens that she doesn't think it is necessary. Me and my DH really want her to have it but I suppose ultimately it is her decision. Her 13 yr old brother and all her cousins have been vaccinated and in her friendship group it is literally half and half.

She says at the moment she isn't planning on going to Spain or the US so it isn't necessary. My hubby is adamant she has to have it and has booked her an appointment for Monday and will take her kicking and screaming if he has too. Funnily enough at the start of the pandemic he was the one who said there would be no way he would vaccinate our children against a mild illness but now omricon is here he is worried for her.

Should she be forced if we feel it is right or should she be free to make her own choice?

OP posts:
Totallydefeated · 01/01/2022 01:32

Of course, it is her own decision and your DH is being absurd.

Why is he so worried about Omicron, when the data is suggesting it’s milder than Delta, which was already very very unlikely to cause serious illness in an otherwise healthy teen?

Does he suffer with anxiety?

The likelihood of her being very ill with Covid is extremely small, the benefit of her having the vaccination is way more likely to be for others rather than herself.

Scaremongering her with cases of fit young people being seriously ill or dying from Covid is disingenuous, unless you also point out that statistically this happens extremely rarely. Just the same as occasionally young people have serious adverse effects from the vaccine, but again, statistically, this is very rare. Don’t try and minimise risks on one side and play up the risks on the other to suit your agenda - she’ll see through that.

It’s her choice and he needs to respect that.

Hellocatshome · 01/01/2022 01:36

My DS 14 had decided he doesnt want it. I would prefer he had it and have explained this to him and my reasons but at the end of the day it is his decision. He has said if in the future he needs it to be able to do what he wants to dowhich at the moment is just go to school and play football then he will have it. I cant make him (he is 6ft 2 I cant make him do anything) and even if I could physically it wouldn't be right to do so.

5zeds · 01/01/2022 01:45

I think I’d be disgusted if my child didn’t want to be vaccinated and was willing to happily increase the risk to vulnerable people. Could you ask her please to be very very diligent about distancing and to particularly avoid the vulnerable she does know about.

How awful that she’s behaving like this. Sad

Hellocatshome · 01/01/2022 01:47

I think I’d be disgusted if my child didn’t want to be vaccinated and was willing to happily increase the risk to vulnerable people. Could you ask her please to be very very diligent about distancing and to particularly avoid the vulnerable she does know about.
How awful that she’s behaving like this. sad

This very unfair younger teenagers are in a difficult position and not emotionally prepared to deal with a decision that some adults are finding it hard to make.

ShiftingSands21 · 01/01/2022 02:05
  • I think I’d be disgusted if my child didn’t want to be vaccinated and was willing to happily increase the risk to vulnerable people. Could you ask her please to be very very diligent about distancing and to particularly avoid the vulnerable she does know about. How awful that she’s behaving like this.*

This hopefully isn’t genuine.

SkankingMopoke · 01/01/2022 02:10

At 15, it is more important to emphasise and support the importance of bodily autonomy and consent.
I agree with PPs, that for younger people it isn't the clear cut choice it is for older people. I would, however, be correcting her ideas on the trials and testing of the vaccine.

5zeds · 01/01/2022 02:18

This hopefully isn’t genuine.
That’s exactly what I think when I read yet another thread where people think supporting their children to make good choices involves hiding the reality of what those choices mean for others. It reminds me of the ridiculous “chicken pox parties” threads which mercifully seem to have stopped.
I’d be ashamed of my child if they did this and I’d wouldn’t hide that from them. I certainly wouldn’t be supporting their stance by pretending they’d “researched it” and made some very good arguments as though arguments are going to let the CV access the community. Selfish irresponsible behaviour.

rainrainraincamedowndowndown · 01/01/2022 06:38

Sounds like she's getting information from anti- vaxxer, from the reason she stated. So if it were me, I would try to give her the real information.

But other than that, I think forcing her when she clearly don't want it is wrong. And I doubt they will vaccinate her. When I took my dc, ultimate consent was not from me, but dc.

GoodnightGrandma · 01/01/2022 06:41

The testing was not rushed. Whereas normally the tests are done one after the other, taking longer, in this case the tests were all done at the same time. So it’s wrong to say it was rushed.

ThettaReddast · 01/01/2022 06:52

It’s her decision and she can’t be forced. I’d focus on supporting her ‘mature research’ though, ‘rushed’ and ‘little testing’ are both inaccurate conclusions to base a decision on.

Thievesoil · 01/01/2022 07:36

Well her research reached the same conclusion as the JCVI so quite why it’s thought she is incorrect is beyond me

However your bigger issue is her father who thinks he can override her consent. Appalling

WanderingFruitWonderer · 01/01/2022 07:41

@5zeds

I think I’d be disgusted if my child didn’t want to be vaccinated and was willing to happily increase the risk to vulnerable people. Could you ask her please to be very very diligent about distancing and to particularly avoid the vulnerable she does know about. How awful that she’s behaving like this. Sad
I can't believe I'm reading a comment like this Shock Young people have already sacrificed so much, during the lockdowns. How about saying thank you to them, and stop being so ridiculous, and frankly horrible?!
YetAnotherSpartacus · 01/01/2022 07:48

I think I’d be disgusted if my child didn’t want to be vaccinated and was willing to happily increase the risk to vulnerable people. Could you ask her please to be very very diligent about distancing and to particularly avoid the vulnerable she does know about

I totally agree.

WanderingFruitWonderer · 01/01/2022 07:48

Yes OP. It's totally your DDs choice. Your DH is being very unreasonable. Forcing anyone, of any age, to have a vaccine, or any invasive medical treatment, is abusive.

Changemaname1 · 01/01/2022 07:49

@WanderingFruitWonderer right ?!

We turning on our own kids now over vaccines ?

@5zeds your post is awful

YetAnotherSpartacus · 01/01/2022 07:50

I’d focus on supporting her ‘mature research’ though, ‘rushed’ and ‘little testing’ are both inaccurate conclusions to base a decision on

Also agree.

amylou8 · 01/01/2022 08:01

I hope this is bravado from your husband, because I wouldn't stay married to a man that thought forcefully vaccinating a 15 year old was in any way acceptable.

KiloWhat · 01/01/2022 08:04

You can't force her. That's brutal.

Jabbawasarollingstone · 01/01/2022 08:09

Me and my DH really want her to have it but I suppose ultimately it is her decision.

Well yes. Her decision.

Exhausteddog · 01/01/2022 08:11

I took 14 yr old DS earlier this week for his 2nd vaccine (his choice). The vaccinator explicitly asked him if he consented even though I'd filled in all the parental consent forms. I'm presuming had he said no she wouldn't have administered it.

DD and DS had their first one at school, for which I had to (as expected) sign a consent form. We got an invitation via the NHS inviting her for the 2nd jab and went this week. I'm presuming my original consent covered both jabs, as on the letter there was no mention of parental consent or that a parent should be present. DD wanted me to go with her but a lot of teens were on their own. (She definitely wanted it and most of her friends have all had theirs)

Ginandvomits · 01/01/2022 08:15

I think it's best you let her doctor talk about the pros and cons. They're more likely to make her feel comfortable with getting it. Both my DC's are vaccinated, it was ultimately their decision and I'm very glad they did.

Exhausteddog · 01/01/2022 08:17

Just to add I wouldn't have consented for my children to have it if they expressly said they didn't want it. I would be disappointed but I wouldn't force something they didn't consent to.

samwitwicky · 01/01/2022 08:19

Your hubby needs to back the fuck off. She's not a little kid. Dragging her 'kicking and screaming' isn't the way to handle this.

Oblomov21 · 01/01/2022 08:19

Ds1 wasn't keen. He's had his first now. You can't force them.

Actually, She actually had some valid points. Of course it was rushed, out of necessity. We needed it and we needed it urgently, quickly.

and also we don't know the side effects. Because we haven't had time. Only in 3, 5, 10, 20 years will we know if there are any side effects. In previous times we have had medicines affect new borns, eg thalidomide, and it takes a few years for it to be realised. Some women are reporting affects to the period cycles. It will be time before we know all effects.

Hashtag just saying. I've had all boosters, so none of the above affects me, but I'm just saying they are valid points.

Qwertykeys · 01/01/2022 08:20

My DS had his , he was the last of his friends to do so due to his age . One of his reasons for getting it was his friend is vulnerable and wants to help protect him .

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