15 yr old doesn't want the vaccine.

[legohurts16]

My 15 yr old DD does not want the covid vaccine. She doesn't think the benefits outweigh the risks. She is very mature and has read up on the subject and is adamant that at the moment she doesn't want it.

Her reasons are that it was - a rushed vaccine with little testing- the illness is so mild in children and teens that she doesn't think it is necessary. Me and my DH really want her to have it but I suppose ultimately it is her decision. Her 13 yr old brother and all her cousins have been vaccinated and in her friendship group it is literally half and half.

She says at the moment she isn't planning on going to Spain or the US so it isn't necessary. My hubby is adamant she has to have it and has booked her an appointment for Monday and will take her kicking and screaming if he has too. Funnily enough at the start of the pandemic he was the one who said there would be no way he would vaccinate our children against a mild illness but now omricon is here he is worried for her.

Should she be forced if we feel it is right or should she be free to make her own choice?

It’s a hard situation isn’t it? On one hand it’s her choice but on the other , parents want the best for their children. At least it’s only holidays she’ll miss out on.
Where I live ( NZ) if they aren’t vaccinated they will miss out on so much - no sports clubs, no council run swimming pools , no drama holiday programmes - from 13 they need to show a vaccine pass and I’m not sure all 13 year olds are capable of doing the research .

I think you are going to have to let her come to her decision on her own. My DD17 wasn't too sure either but changed her mind once she saw her friends having it. I did say it was her choice but we would like her to have it and gave her the reasons why. I think that if we had dragged her there kicking and screaming, it would have backfired

Ugh, your biggest problem is your DH's attitude! Disgusting behaviour. At her age she's old enough to make decisions.

You can't force her. If your husband really takes her 'kicking and screaming' they will refuse. It's very basically about consent. Please don't let your husband teach your daughter that consent doesn't matter. I have to say it has been one of the things that has shocked me a lot the amount of people that are happy to forgo the principle of informed non-coerced consent.

@elelel

Her reasons are that it was - a rushed vaccine with little testing-

Yet you say she has researched it maturely?

Come on.... We've had news stories of people dying, blood clots... Every other day there is a thread on reactions to the vaccine/ period abnormalities.

It is ok to be hesitant

I would be worried about what she's been reading or who she's been speaking to, if she thinks it's been rushed. She's clearly been got at by the anti-vaxxers (who are targeting schools).

Explain that it's highly likely unvaccinated people will be prevented from attending certain places eg events. Already the case in many countries. As it takes 3 months to get fully vaccinated it may be too late to catch up if it's announced

She’s absolutely right. Listen to her….

No, she shouldn't be forced. But at 15 I'd be quite concerned at how easily she's been taken in by vaccine misinformation. She should maybe be encouraged to speak to a doctor rather than getting her information from wherever she's getting it, as she's been very badly misled.

She will also learn It's also a good job that the Chief Medical Officers (actual doctors) overruled the JCVI (not actual doctors and some of whom were outed as having links to anti-vax groups/tweeting anti Vax messages etc) over vaccinating teenagers.

the illness is so mild in children and teens that she doesn't think it is necessary

It is absolutely her choice and obviously you cannot force a fifteen year old to have a vaccine they don't want. But you would be surprised how bad a 'mild' case of covid can be. DD had a mild case in the sense that she did not need any extra medical input other than paracetamol for her temperature and some cough sweets etc. She said it was awful. It's the illest I have seen her since she was a toddler. You know how poorly toddlers just go floppy? She was like that, but at 14.

Anyway, she was desperate to have a vaccine because she never wants to feel like that again.

She should be free to make the decision herself. If she has no underlying health conditions then at her age the risk of a vaccine outweighs the benefits. How would your DH feel if she suffers from infertility in the future from having the jab to prevent her getting what is a common cold for most people.
(And yes there's no evidence it causes infertility but no evidence to say it doesn't. It does affect periods so who is to know what may happen in the future, it's just not worth it imo)

Let's not forget that a person with capacity can also make a decision that is considered 'bad' by others.

I was very chilled about vaccines with my two that qualify. I made it clear I would facilitate them being vaccinated but it was their choice. Dd1 had it straight away. Dd2 didn't and I accepted that as suffers from anxiety and ASD. Dd2 than git a cold and totally freaked out thinking they had COVID. Turned out she wanted it but was scared of the needle.
Going to try and book in the New Year.
Op you cannot force them.

My 15 year old also doesn't want the vaccine, my 13 year old had it, it's up to them. The reason mine don't want it is because they had a lot of catch up vaccines and have been really ill this last year, flu jab was had too, I respect their decision.

I think she's making the wrong decision, and I'd be really disappointed if my 16yo had reached that conclusion. It doesn't sound like she has researched it maturely at all. However, it is her decision and she absolutely has right to make stupid decisions about her own body.

Your DH needs to wind his neck in. Bodily autonomy is important. He needs to respect her choice.

She can make her own decision. The vaccinator won’t give it against her wishes. I think she is wrong in her argument that it is rushed. The red tape was removed, but it was safely tested (3.77 billion people have received a dose)
However, it’s true that she is unlikely to benefit herself and she may experience side effects. It has to be her choice.

Having found it an incredibly difficult decision for my 12-15 year old, if he was able to make that decision himself I would have gone with what he decided. It’s not as clear cut as it is with older people who will in most cases be better off with the vaccine than without.

@RaoulDufysCat

the illness is so mild in children and teens that she doesn't think it is necessary

It is absolutely her choice and obviously you cannot force a fifteen year old to have a vaccine they don't want. But you would be surprised how bad a 'mild' case of covid can be. DD had a mild case in the sense that she did not need any extra medical input other than paracetamol for her temperature and some cough sweets etc. She said it was awful. It's the illest I have seen her since she was a toddler. You know how poorly toddlers just go floppy? She was like that, but at 14.

Anyway, she was desperate to have a vaccine because she never wants to feel like that again.

We have it for the 2nd time now and I agree. People think 'mild' means like a cold - yes, it can be for some but my 14yo also has never been so ill. Luckily after 6 days he is starting to recover but still sleeping all afternoon.

She still must make her own choice.

It's her decision. You can talk to her about it and share your views but ultimately it's up to her. Your DH's 'kicking and screaming' remark is appalling. No, you don't get to do that to a young person just because you don't agree with their decision. She's 15, not 5.

Dd is on my just 12 and has come to a sumo

You can't make her at that age unfortunately. I'd ask her to show you this research she's talking about and check its source. Also perhaps find some of the news stories where people who weren't vaccinated ended up in hospital and saying what a mistake it was not to have it. Also explain that she could pass it on to other vulnerable people (esp if you have any in your family) and it will help stop the spread which will mean a sooner return to normality.
Its difficult as teens think they know better. We've all been there!

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0012tzh/royal-institution-christmas-lectures-2021-3-fighting-back
ask her to watch this it - it might change her mind rather than bulling her it will only make resist even stronger

Ultimately if she says no, they won’t actually inject her. But she ought to know it DOES affect healthy teens beyond mild symptoms. My friend’s 12 year old caught it in September and was as yet unvaccinated. Extremely fit, competes in international dance competitions and was due to go to a huge one in America in April.
She has long covid. Now she fatigues very quickly. Has extensive lung damage and has to carry peak flow, oximeter etc around with her. It has absolutely wiped her out and she’s undergoing tests to figure out how permanent some of these after effects may actually be.

Posted way too soon 😆 dd12 has come to a similar decision. Of course you cannot force her and the medical staff will listen to her first and foremost anyway. Tbh I'm happy with hwr decision either way and feel there is a good pint that the benefits do not outweigh the risks at this stage. Dd has just had asymptomatic covid only discovered through a test for a club

Just in the interests of plain facts: the Membership of the Joint Committee on Vaccination and Immunisation:
Membership
Professor Andrew Pollard, Chair (University of Oxford)
Professor Lim Wei Shen, Chair COVID-19 immunisation (Nottingham University Hospitals)
Professor Anthony Harnden, Deputy Chair (University of Oxford)
Dr Kevin Brown (Public Health England)
Dr Rebecca Cordery (Public Health England)
Dr Maggie Wearmouth (East Sussex Healthcare NHS Trust)
Professor Matt Keeling (University of Warwick)
Alison Lawrence (lay member)
Professor Robert Read (Southampton General Hospital)
Professor Anthony Scott (London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine)
Professor Adam Finn (University of Bristol)
Dr Fiona van der Klis (National Institute for Public Health and the Environment, Netherlands)
Professor Maarten Postma (University of Groningen)
Professor Simon Kroll (Imperial College London)
Dr Martin Williams (University Hospitals Bristol)
Professor Jeremy Brown (University College London Hospitals)
Co-opted members (implementation matters)
Ms Anne McGowan
Dr Lorna Willocks
Dr Jillian Johnston
Dr Julie Yates

They examined the data and came to the conclusion that at the moment the benefits of vaccination for children do not outway the risks, and that there was not enough data on side effects yet. Obvs other experts will disagree. The decision of a teen to wait is not an irrational one, and that should be respected.